Finding a Fifth

Oh dear Jayne, I fear I have given you entirely the wrong impression, I just thought it was funny that the first time I come on line in weeks, everywhere I went you had commented just before me, didn't you think it funny?... It is our time (I nearly said timeline - SF hangover from the scientist geek week) coincides in Aus, plus I suspect you & I are naughty night owls too often. No, it is definitely not because I don't like them (nonrhymers), I am just haggard & could not recall any, I should have gone to look & taken more care with you, please forgive me... It's just I have so little time here now, I have only caught up with mere crambs from everyone. I stole time last night to try to catch up at the expense of my sleep, a big no no, now I am blundering about & may have upset you, I hope not. I understand about the music thing, I am on that track too & on the music camp (which I had to refrain from most of, including the major parts of the concerts) was asked to right an article for the Victorian Community Music mag to highlight the difficulty & the grief (much of the grief in my poetry of late has dual grieving for the loss of my ability to function as completely as I always had, just quietly) associated for those who are less able to be musically involved as they have been in the past. The choir I run (only 1 now, not 4) are so very generous & patient with me, but I am encouraging them to get more & more independent so if I can't be there, there are some who can make it happen still... they don't want it that way.. nor do I, but I just can't function as I used (& you know it takes heaps of energy, I never thought I took it for granted, but I can't believe I can't do it now), breaks my heart to think how you must feel... is there no intermediate involvement? I still teach about a quarter of the students I did about 6 months ago, & run 1 choir, but do very little performance currently... There may be a community choir up your way, they are always wicked fun I know you'd love it (& they you). Jayne I would never want you not to be "bumping into me so often", my flatter responses have made me less vivasious (not you, you shine so beautifully, no one would know you weren't sproinging around like ten men), but somtimes I am less diplomic I think, sorry to have made you think I would ever want you less involved here, you are a powerhouse, I am hardly here these days but for sporradic bursts when I rebel against my constraints. God how you would be missed! Let me know by pm if you want me to chase up any singing group... the one I run, I intentionally encourage women to came when they can, so they still feel most welcome even if they have health or kid issues that keep thm away on & off... makes performances tricky, we are facing that at the moment, but it's worth it, people say it saves their lives, & they love it. Please take care Jayne so you can be here consistantly, & know that I feel warm & generous good vibes to you always. Cheers Anni~ "When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace". H.H. the Dalai Lama