Seren

Sep 11, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The Soft Contours of My Demise

Darkening my door
a shadow in the night,
I was sitting very still
freezing with the fright

A silhouette of menace
was coming into view,
heart did cease its beating
stomach wants to spew

At first it had no meaning
this shadow on the wall,
and with clarity regained
began the tipping of my fall

Detaching from the shadow
a man stepped into light,
throwing off this feeling
I wedded with his sight

Instantly attracted
by the glimmer in his eyes,
walking in a daze
bedazzled with his lies

The curve of his mouth
seduced me to lust,
brain was yelling NO !
this man you cannot trust !!

Taken in his arms
frigid in this hold
freezing every muscle
my head does start to roll

As neck revealed a contour
he simply couldn't resist,
the mask of seduction fell
with the parting of his lips

Slipping into transcend
the meaning of the flesh,
As my life does dwindle
my soul begins it's rest

And every now and then
as we're hunting in the night,
I live within my memories
the remembered grace of life

— Seren, Sep 11, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

Bosscombat

16 years 9 months ago

:)

2nd time reading this only makes it better... dare I say one of your best works ever. :) great write. I shall return for your stars <3 ♣

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

lol ... thanks for the help naming this one it was a bitch to name and as always i am happy you enjoyed it lol and my best ?? lol is yet to come I only just got comfortable writing lol (((((huggles))) love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

Candlewitch

16 years 9 months ago

Dear One

Ohhhh, this gave me a great case of the chills! I think you could also write it as a short story. I think it would transcend very well. I can't pick favorite lines as I love them all. How do you come up with this great stuff? You are an awesome writer! Love, Cat

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Cat

I am SOOOOOOO happy you liked this one , I thought maybe I could change into a vampire as well as a changeling LOL ... its been weird lately I find a comfort and ease in rhyme sooo I am just playing with it now and having fun and watching you enjoy it ? is all I need to make me happy love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

Calliope

16 years 9 months ago

Wonderfully chilling

my dearest Jayne,Very well written ,I think this style suits you very well,and yes a short story should be forth-coming I am intrigued to what is going on with these charactors,lol, Brilliant, Brava, Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Lacy

:D big smile thank you sooo much I have been playing lately with stories and this is one that has more to it ... Might have a go at a short story ? will see what I cant come up with LOL dont ask me I have never writen a short story this could be tragic? funny or both :P thanks heaps hun for the read and I am always glad when my friends enjoy them ... love and higgest bugs Jayne x x

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Jayne

Stop changing my fave's, will ya. Your last 3 have been amazing,yet this one is , yummy, lol. To walk the night forever, it is romantic in a way, scary in another, especially those prone to nightmares, they would be too scared to sleep.Yes I agree, u should do a story. Well done, I love it.I hate to say this, but there is a part on my neck that gets me going and if a vampire placed his lips on my neck, I'd go willingly. Scary thought. Just brilliant.Well done. Love to all, Lyz. XX

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Lyz

LOL I have been thinking up these for about a month they are only just finished , hate to tell you but there is about nine other stories that arent finished yet lol ... going to finished another one today lol sooooo your favourites might change again, one in particular you will love ;) thanks so much for the read I am always sooo pleased when you like them (((HUG))) love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

mantiscepter

16 years 9 months ago

Strangers in the night.

lovely write very good flow, erie spooky, and a little sensual, I'm going to have to read it a couple more times, there were just so many changes so quick, my fault I.m sure I woke up fast. and I haven't stopped yet. well done. Jayne. John. Mantiscepter

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear John

Thanks for the read this ones been worked on for a while I am just happy its finished and that people enjoy it ... thanks for the continued support and I just love your reactions to my poetry ... thank you always love and higgest bugs Jayne x x P.S is that the clown from the IT movie(stephen king?) lmao ;)

hugo la rosa

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Seren

You are becoming better by the minute! The details with which you enhance the poem keep the reader in suspense. When I saw the title on most popular I didn't understand the meaning. That's another great point for a catchy title. Best Regards, Hugo

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Hugo

I just write what my muse comes up with shes a very good muse lately lol and as I said to someone the other day I am only just now starting to felt at ease in my writing ... thank you so much for the lovely compliment its always nice to see you on my page love and higgest bugs Jayne :)

ziggy

16 years 9 months ago

mmmmm

enda, patrick collins. another fine write indeed , its a story in a poem which makes it even more interesting for the reader nicely put well done AGAIN always edd

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Patrick

This sort of is a story the next installment is going on in about half an hour , hope you like it and I am so glad you liked this one , its still being mulled over title and things so thank you very much for the comment and the purdy stars lol ...love Jayne x x

Kailashana

16 years 9 months ago

Maybe it’s me, so forgive

Maybe it's me, so forgive me but the title "coutours, or contours"? how about...either works but the first lines *darkening & sitting maybe? darkening my door a shadow in the night, sitting very still I was freezing with my fright & a silhouette of menace was coming into view, heart did cease its beating stomach wanting to spew Short story, Jayne? ... could be a novella... Love, Anna

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Darlin' Anna

Its meant to be contours LOL and I have been that tired today didn't even notice my mistake when I woke up today thanks for the heads up LMAO oh my god wait till hubby hears this one hes going to pay me out for days ... there is more to this ... I have writen another couple in this series and if people like them I might expand it a little more I have really enjoyed writing these dark ones ... thanks so much for picking up my mistake and your suggestions I love !! when I do a edit I will have a good think how to word it ... thanks again Love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x pmsl I am still laughing over the title

docmaverick

16 years 9 months ago

Things that go "bump" in the night....

...ALWAYS peaks my interest, and I truly must echoe the others.....it IS a great write ! I wasn't real clear on it being a Shape-shifter until I read the comments, but that vagueness brought more mystery to the piece. "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Doc

Your comment was music for my eyes LOL ;) I am so happy when you them , there is another one going on tonight you may like ,we'll see dont know about this one I never do lol love and higgest bugs Jayne P.S you are only the second one to mention the higgest bugs LMAO !! I mistakenly wrote it to the kids one day and we say it all the time now ;)

Bonitaj

16 years 9 months ago

Whoops she did it again!

Jayne! You have such a way of combining fantasy, fiction, poetry and prose! You are a master of the art of manipulating the written word! Awesome indeed! Boni

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Boni

Your close I am a big kid that loves playing with words and pictures in my head lol thank you so much for your lovely comment made my day, (hug) love Jayne x x

Geezer

16 years 9 months ago

Can't help feeling...

Can't help feeling that we should start a dark story and poetry section here. We have a good fan base going already. I guess that we all have a little 'Dark Side' as the 'Jedi' have known for awhile. Keep it up Hun, I am eagerly awaiting the next. L & HUgz, Gee ~ P.S. I noticed the transposition of the H and B, and assumed you knew what you were doing, with the second of them.

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Gee

I think your right , we do need to section the site out into the types of poetry , have thought that for a while, makes it easier for people to know what type of poetry they are reading, but thats just my opinion ... Thanks so much for the read and the comment I am soooo happy you liked this one and the other one ... she came out of nowhere this vampire woman and I decided she needed more than this story, the prelude to blood kisses lmao :P but I have seriously enjoyed writing them, something different to broaden the mind LOL ;) love and higgest bugs Jayne x x P.S I had been waiting for days for someone to mention it and Cat was the first one and then I think it was Docmavarick LOL he he ya should have said something I didnt know if it anyone had noticed ..;)

Geezer

16 years 9 months ago

Keep them....

Keep them coming, I love the lady that can take charge and get what she wants. You are right, she does need a good name. You might go to a vampire site, [there are many] I went and looked at a few. The original female vampire's name was supposed to be 'Lilith' or 'Irdu Lilith' Elizabeth Bathory was a woman who lived in what is now called Bratislava where Austria, Hungary, and the Slovak Republic come together. She was said to have slaughtered many young women to bathe in and drink their blood. [supposedly to stay young and youthful] She deserves an old fashioned name, to keep the inference that she is an old soul. You might try looking up Hungarian, Slovak and Romanian female names too. Good Luck! L & Hugz,[maybe a little nibble too], Gee.

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Gee

I had been playing with the though of Ivy for her name... its an old world name with a hint of menace, poison being the first thing that came to mind, I still havent decided but will have a look at those sites you mentioned they might have a name i find even more appealing ... I will work on a couple more of these that are half done and see what i cant get her doing next, I have no control she does what she pleases lmao :P love and higgest bugs Jayne x x

Kailashana

16 years 8 months ago

She just HAS to have 2

She just HAS to have 2 names... one wouldn't be enough. how about Ivy Rose? Hugs, ~A p.s. about that misspelling in the title young lady!

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Anna

Title fixed but still cursed with typos LMAO first it was your name and then 'correctly' so I gave up I had a title and your name right ,,, laughing my ass off here at the moment ... dont edit on meds ;) love and higgest bugs Jayne x x Defo noooo more comments for a while LMAO I forgot to mention ... I love Ivy Rose it has a hard but soft sound at the same time ... A vampress is born ;)

DawningDaytripper

16 years 8 months ago

Oh you make the dark so fun

Oh you make the dark so fun Seren, I thought that was great read and flow, the title was awesome guys, grabbed me right up. And I do beleive a Dark poetry section would be awesome, I have one over at my little humble forum with totaly awesome backgrounds, BUT. As with chat and other side things it does distract from the stream and will let people isolate. But again I did feel that a Dark poetry section WOULD be benifical to Dark poets seeking other like minded individuals to critique and improve with. So I would think it cool either way. Great wright Jayne! Hugs Julie

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Julie

Big Smile glad you liked this one its a personal favourite of mine , it just had that flow, I do think a dark poetry section would be great but then if we started putting things in category's we are going to end up running all over the place looking at poetry , I have to say stream is like window shopping sometimes you browse the names and something catches your eye, but there could be another tab near most popular for say adult content ??? which would allow children to be aware to stay out ... just an idea ??? dark and hot writes all bundled together makes for interesting reading lmao ... love and higgest bugs Jayne x x

seabhac

16 years 8 months ago

The Soft Contours of My Demise

Love the title of this one Jayne...this one slipped by me and I am so glad it made Spotlight or I may have missed it . Your writing is so wonderfully prolific I am jogging behind to keep up, the exercise is doing me good...This is great I just loved the lines The curve of his mouth seduced me to lust, Well deserved Jayne

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Liz

Sorry for the delay in answering you I dont know what happened to the email I dont think I got one for this one lol ... thanks for the read ... I am writing a lot lately lol but it will slow the flow cannot go on forever I will block I have been blocked before then I will have to catch up with all of you :) love and higgest bugs, ohhhh and btw !! i loved your new one left a comment for you :) Jayne x x