Slaves Row 2

Slaves Row 2

Genocide systematic
This enigma a leprosy
We ethnically will take for granted

For we have adopted the right
To attack are brothering with a senseless mind
We kill each other , before we fight
A bullet in his head , another slave die’s

When did we forget the enemy
Isn’t are brothers ,
But the interpolations
Of the media , a unnatural order

They show the newest shoes
You buy ?
They show the newest cars
You drive ?
They regulate morality
Wrong or right
They have influenced
The presence of mentality
With our own genocide

— press, Sep 06, 2009

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

Rett

16 years 10 months ago

Now that is hard hitting

And a real newscast of our times son. People killing each other for cars, shoes, jewelry, drugs. Only the times have changed, still greed marches on. The title of both poems grabs the attention. Your language use was very good for the most part. a few tense errors, but shows a lot of thought and growth. I enjoyed the rhythm and the pattern. I love the historical allusions in both this and the previous one. The beginning/ending were very well done. Your logic was consistent throughout both part one and two. Respectfully, Rett: "When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half." Gracie Allen

press

16 years 10 months ago

Dad

I went to one of the sites of Andrews links ? [http://www.blogtalkradio.com/PoeticFlows]. Basically slaves row ,I am glad to have heard these poets. Because it helped me to understand that I am a poet and not a rapper . There is thin line between the two. I often wondered if I am a poet or something dealing with music [you know why I say this THE MATH EQUATIONS].My brothers & sisters writings of poetry didn't give the reader a chance to breath ? almost like they were afraid to be judged on one theme. They all fell back on ? I can't find , I can't have or this girl is fine and so much flow languish. Dad am I that house nigger , you know the one that wants more . I know you will get a kick out of this comment . Thanks for reading my transformations of my personification as I walk to a poets conformation LOV2U PRESS

Rett

16 years 10 months ago

I know what you mean son

And to answer that last question first, no you're not. You are the MAN that want more, to do more, to achieve more and to write what comes to the heart. BTW, yes, I am laughing at the comment and you know why. *LOL* You have steadily amazed me with your improvements and drive. Hey, you know us rednecks, all we want to do is drink beer and look at wimmen.*G* Respectfully, Rett: "When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half." Gracie Allen

mantiscepter

16 years 10 months ago

Rows and Rows

this was another brilliant addition to this site,loved the thought pattern ,sad driven with passion. a truth standing alone,very well written. an every-day reality, told eloquently. Thank-you. Mantiscepter

press

16 years 10 months ago

Mantiscepter

Dear poet I am honored , that you took to time to read my poetry and your comments . I would like to know your name if that's not to personal , my name is Pressley nice to meet you. So I will simply just say what I said to Rett . I went to one of the sites of Andrews links ? [http://www.blogtalkradio.com/PoeticFlows]. Basically slaves row ,I am glad to have heard these poets. Because it helped me to understand that I am a poet and not a rapper . There is thin line between the two. I often wondered if I am a poet or something dealing with music [you know why I say this I AM TRYING TO FIND THE MATH EQUATIONS OF MUSIC RELATED TO POETRY].My brothers & sisters writings of poetry didn’t give the reader a chance to breath ? almost like they were afraid to be judged on one theme. They all fell back on ? I can’t find , I can’t have or this girl is fine and so much flow languish. Dad am I that house nigger , you know the one that wants more . I know you will get a kick out of this comment . Thanks for reading my transformations of my personification as I walk to a poets conformation LOV2U PRESS

mantiscepter

16 years 10 months ago

Walking Tall

Hey Pressley. I'm John, It's a pleasure to meet you, and to view your poems or any, material, you deem to" sub'ject, for us to. read, hear, see. It seems your, talent may lie ;where ever you want it to lie, If your good at rap, thats a plus,+ a lot of rap, I don't have time for, but some, just cuts to the soul, and touches, your heart. So all I'm saying is not to give up one; for another. as you read other peoples; poetry, thoughts, observations, you will find a vast change in, styles, formatting, personality traits that follow true, people are people. Individuality, And thats the name of that tune. So welcome,welcome,welcome. And I hope to read you again some time, in the near future. all the best of luck. John Mantiscepter

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