Bonitaj

Sep 02, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

CURTAIN FALLS

It's past midnight and the curtain fallsyou didn't write you haven't calledthere's an eerie wind about my doorwondering what the hell I love you for. Stardust or wishing on it doesn't make it so - yourmagnets however will not release me to gothey attract and pull like gravity's forceIs it just me or am I off course? The incoming tide seems to agreecan't hear it from here but in my mind's eyecan seeYou're asleep in bed, back to the walldon't give a damn who took the fall...

BjR 2 Sept. '09

— Bonitaj, Sep 02, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Tip of Southern Africa, ZAF

Favorite Poets: Too many to narrow down, but briefly :, AUDEN, T.S. ELIOT, DICKENSON, RILKE, THOREAU, RUMI ... the list is endless. Am inspired by many, especially those that live lives of "quiet desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them" (THoreau)

Critiques

mantiscepter

16 years 9 months ago

Midnight.

Interesting, Sharply aimed I believe. open and suggestive.A mix of magic, and truth. I liked it. Mantiscepter

Bonitaj

16 years 9 months ago

Thank you

for your kind, supportive comments Bonita j

Baz

16 years 9 months ago

Hi Bonitaj

The curtain falls-----made me think of how many times it fell for me, so many failed relationships. In another interesting line you mention magnets, this makes me think of a extremely beautiful line by Bob Dylan----"Your magnetic movements capture the minutes I'm in". I like your poem. Barry

Bonitaj

16 years 9 months ago

Hello Barry!

Nice of you to stop by! yes I think we've all had those CURTAIN CALL moments... or the fall thereof I should say! Liked your reference to Dylan too - can't say I know it but any reference to the great poets that is summoned by one of my pieces - is highly flattering! THank you for stopping by! Bonita j

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Boni

What can I say to this write , its really very good my friend,and as I am a performer/singer well used to be before, and the curtain calls caught my heart from the first line ... and then we dwelt in sadness and with our walls to the back we watched the falling apart in words .. for thats how I see it ... Love and biggest hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Bonitaj

16 years 9 months ago

Hey Jayne!

Even when you write a crit. you do it poetically! lol Thanks my friend Boni

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

Hi Boni...

I really liked the content of this one, and the first stanza had a really smooth flow to it... the other two, for me anyway, didn't have that same smoothness, although the content was truly good, very easy to relate to, as most have wondered the same things about past loves. I just felt you could have said it and kept the musical quality of the first stanza... just my opinion, it sure doesn't mean much, but I thought I'd share it. Richard

Bonitaj

16 years 9 months ago

My dear Richard

You set the benchmark! How could it not mean much! Thank you for stopping by... somehow it seems as if you mark my "lesser" works but that's ok too! Hence the fact that I don't feel in any way hurt or demoralized by your comments - 'cause this definately wasn't one of my better ones! Needless to say - it touched a few - and I'm happy with that! Thanks again! Nice to know you're still "OUT THERE!" Boni

Mike

16 years 9 months ago

dear boni (i hope it’s

dear boni (i hope it's alright that I call you Boni) well, first thigs first, i really enjoyed readin' this poem i espiecially like the last two lines, since i feel like i can really connect to 'em.... and how about that, "there’s an eerie wind about my door wondering what the hell I love you for." thank you so much for these two lines, they truely touch me.... so all in all a really good read, keep 'em comin' sincerely, Michael

Bonitaj

16 years 9 months ago

hELLO Michael!

How nice of you to stop by and critique my poem! I'm so glad it spoke to you - I think that is always the most rewarding part of sharing one's work! Hope we can share each other's work again! Cheerio! Boni

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

Hi

Sad write, It takes two to make it work as one. I enjoyed the way you expressed your words. Thanks for sharing, Lyz

Candlewitch

16 years 9 months ago

Boni

I like the imagery of the magnets, but these were my favorite lines: The incoming tide seems to agree can’t hear it from here but in my mind’s eye can see You’re asleep in bed, back to the wall don’t give a damn who took the fall… I can so relate to this. Always, Cat

Bonitaj

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Lyz & Cat

Thank you both sincerely for your constructive crits. and support! Glad you liked the poem! Boni