Inevitable

Two metres in between - yet so far
Once almost everything - I've been your star
Oh so - so heavenly bizarre
Is this - this who we really are

In my pockets only - only a few cents
It seems - seems like nothin's makin' any sense

I'm great - a great, dumb giraffe
I cannot help, but act on selfish behalf
Everyone, - around; and you might laugh
I am - am limited and only half

So what am I - I am in today
Oh yeah - yeah it's still all grey

I have - have really tried
No way - way to be denied
The moment you went... - went outside
Your promise broken - you have lied

So this - this is what you did decide
For no more comfort you'll provide
Alone to - to walk without my guide
All you left - left is emptiness inside

— Mike, Sep 02, 2009

Critiques

Bonitaj

16 years 10 months ago

What an interesting layout

of words and thoughts! Very catchy! Liked the write a lot! Bonita j

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

...

this is like when someone isn't listening to you and everytime you go to speak, they interrupt. has a touch of despair melted in with the clout.-diatom shells

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

Perception...

Sorry to disagree with the ladies here, but for me the repetitions became quite a distraction from the read. I felt they were overdone, would have been much more effective if there were only a few, but that is only my opinion, and you know about those... I did like the poems journey as I have had those gray days myself... when I felt broken, halved at the heart... yes, liked the content. Richard

Mike

16 years 10 months ago

thanks to all of

thanks to all of you..... especially richard, since I really feel like I get your point, and like you said it's your opinion.....so thank you for your feedback and interest.... kind regards Michael

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