Raven, I feel like every time that you visit my page and share your precious words here that beauty is all around us. You have a unique way of always remind me of that, and I thank you for it. Always, Corey

poet1

16 years 10 months ago

Eloquent… Makes me wonder

Eloquent... Makes me wonder about the point of reference. You're very good. Corina

2 Quills

16 years 10 months ago

Corina

Corina, thanks a bunch for your words, it’s encouraging to know that it can find an appreciation with you. Regards, Corey “He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe is as good as dead; his eyes are closed” A. Einstein.

lyz

16 years 10 months ago

Bloody Great

If it was my time, for some one to read this to me, would send me off peacefully. To me, the fave is the last stanza. Thanks for sharing. Lyz.

2 Quills

16 years 10 months ago

Lyz

Lyz, it is quite ironic that you say that, as the events of the day have unfolded for me today this poem makes a lot more sense, even to me. The ending is my favorite part too. Thanks for reading and commenting. Take care, Corey

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

Yep, got my vote

Yep, got my vote, don't feel it's your best but it is a good read & has some great sentiments... Nearing the end of being able to make sense now so sorry can't add much, enjoying your work. Cheers Anni~ "A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket". ~Charles Peguy

2 Quills

16 years 10 months ago

Couldthings

Cloudthings, I agree with ya…it’s not the best poem that I’ve posted here, I just tried to keep it rather simple in its approach; a product of my mood last night I suppose. I am glad that you enjoyed it, nevertheless. Thanks for the vote! Cheers, Corey

Rett

16 years 10 months ago

Corey, very good here

I love the sentiment in this and the common sense of it. A few minor imperfections but overall really good. A couple of suggestions. The burdens that we must bare(bear) though They are no mystery The secrets that were kept from us Are ours for us to see The truth behind the knowledge That was veiled from you Are locked behind this door you see Of which you must now walk through (Delete "of" as it throws the rhythm off) Step into this brave new world With your illuminated mind Treasure’s(Treasures) untold for you to hold Just seek and you shall find Yeah, I know, a bit nit picky, but too good a poem to be marred by a couple of little errors! Very well done sir! Respectfully, Rett: "When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half." Gracie Allen

2 Quills

16 years 10 months ago

Rett

Rett, thanks! I don’t mind the nit pickiness too much at all. I figure that once I post a poem that it then becomes the people’s poem. If it were up to me alone, my grammar would never stand a chance lol. But this is why I have you guys, to help make good things even better. Besides, I rather agree with the suggestions, anyway. Always glad to have you drop in. Gratefully, Corey

Morgana Tragic…

16 years 10 months ago

Congrats on Spotlight

Congrats on Spotlight Corey!!!!!!!!!!! An excellent poem, I love the message of it, the positive through the dark and not giving up. Well done. I agree with Dad's suggestions above. Well done, and congrats. Peace n love Katie

2 Quills

16 years 10 months ago

Katie

Katie, Thanks!!!!!! It’s a pretty awesome thing to have you stop by and offer some congrats, I’ve missed you guys in chat lately. Life is crazy sometimes and it’s been keeping me really busy. But I hope to be back in there before too long. I’ve always had a particular fascination for poetry with a positive message, for some reason or another. These flames, thy torch, do guide thy way Through skies so dark, until new day Peace, my friend! Corey

mantiscepter

16 years 10 months ago

Change

well written ;steady track of thought to the end, where the hope, and direction are unveiled. nicely worded, [The Secrets That Were Kept From Us"Are Our, For Us To See] A Pivotal Line: Mantiscepter

2 Quills

16 years 10 months ago

Mantiscepter

Mantiscepter, is it just me or does life seem like one big ball of change? I like to hold on to the hope, in this life, it has been one of my greatest allies and most revered guides. The end of days unveils the truth Of what was missed within our youth Regards, Corey

Nordic cloud

16 years 10 months ago

The poem too lilts along in perfect harmony with itself.

Oh you saviour of such dark happenings that could be, I hope you were successful as given this beautiful piece of advice they should have done. The poem too lilts along in perfect harmony with itself. Yours Ann of Norway

Nordic cloud

16 years 10 months ago

The poem too lilts along in perfect harmony with itself.

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in