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Seren
Seren
Sep 01, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Iron on Blue

On a rattler from Sydney
the windows push down,
rocking me gently
all the way home

Streaming the land
flashes me by,
hushing my body
wheels thump the night

Cigarette smoke
and beer on the stair,
laughing men wrestling
punching thin air

Quietly cheered at
life all around,
sitting and watching
to not utter a sound

A Child on the floor
having a fit,
wanting that lolly
and starting to spit !!

A ticket collector
half asleep,
counting the chickens
and watching the sheep

Tuning out
the world fades too,
to the clinking and clattering
of iron on blue

— Seren, Sep 01, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 9 months ago

Your poems always take me

Your poems always take me through your experiences. Love that feeling....living vicariously even for a moment's moment. A dear friends' email is lastrain... sometimes I feel we're all on it...and that's what it alludes to. All aboard who's coming aboard! Life is a participation sport (or should that be activity?).... Love, Anna p.s. Happy 3 days before your birthday!
Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Anna

Right next to where Matty lives is a train line .. the other night laying in bed I was thinking back to when I was young and you could have a party on the train and the conducter would probably join in ... today its all anal retentive lol they took the fun out of train travel lol Glad you enjoyed my memory cause thats what it was .. love and hugz Jayne x x P.S I am quietly excited lol I dont want a big hoohaa this year just a nice cake and my family would be nice ;) "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Jayne

I happen to agree with Anna. You always wrap your fine words around the reader, like a soft caressing blanket and take us along for the ride. It sounds like a wonderful experience. Thanks to your magick way with words, we can see through your eyes. Love, Cat
Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Cat

Thanks Cat this one was an old memory that surfaced at Matty's I am glad you enjoyed it just another face to aussie life ... one some people will never experience ... biggest hugz and Love Jayne x x x P.S sorry for short comments getting tired but cant sleep argh !!! "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...
Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Thankies hun sweet dreams

Thankies hun sweet dreams LOL love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...
Geezer

Geezer

16 years 9 months ago

Thinking....

Thinking that is the way with so many things, these days. I remember I used to ride the train when I was in no hurry. I used to take it to my home town, just 15 mi. or so. I love the rocking and clatter of the the rails. I took it to Montreal, a few times and to Buffalo too. You are right, the conductor used to stand in between cars with some of us and have a sip or two, then pop his ever present breath mints, and be off hollering next stop! So many things are just memory now. Well, have to go and pick up the missus, but letting you know that you struck a spot with me too. Great write! Gee. P.S. glad you will be home and hope things went well.
Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Gee

I understand that rules are in place for safety reasons Gee but seriously did they have to take the fun out of it for all :PLOL I am going on home the train this evening its a nice trip if you like feeling your in a space shuttle .....Gotta run and get my bags packed ready to go seee my babiessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss :P I have missed my kids :D ... love and Hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...
L

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

Quirky

Sorry but this one made me laugh, funny girl, make it worse I had coffee in my mouth. Ask Jade about that one. Great read for the first thing in the morning, before I get stuck into it.And yes it does bring back memories. I have not been on a train for years so this one reminded me to never get on one again.I still smoke,and the trip to Brissy was murder. LMFAO, Thank u for making my day. Sorry I saw the funny side. Love Lyz.x.
Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Lyz

BIGGEST smiles lol I wondered when I wrote this if you would have remembered the trains out of sydney LMAO .... OOoOOoOooOOoOOoOOOoO darlin girl I could tell some stories but I don't know that they are fit for these hallowed pages ..he he I am getting on the train tonight sooooo I will be home tonight will give Jadey a big kiss and a cuddle for us both LOL ... least i get to see her before she goes home this time ... big hugs of Love Jaykneeeeeeeeeeeee :P (hug) "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...
hugo la rosa

hugo la rosa

16 years 9 months ago

Beautiful poetic

description! It has the peaceful quiet of a lullaby, cool and beautiful as a September dream. Thank you, Seren, your inspiration never fails. Gentle regards, Hugo
Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Hugo ..

Thank you so much this was the first comment I read since coming home :) made me smile thank you soooo much this ones an old memory that resurfaced a few days ago ... my inspiration comes in many forms people here and in my day to day life things that happen there is always something to write about ...We just open our eyes and a beautiful world surrounds ... love and hugz Jayne "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...
Geezer

Geezer

16 years 9 months ago

Comfort is ...

Comfort is a small price to pay for living in the beauty of what is surely the most beautiful of all creation. I wouldn't trade anything for the precious privilage of having lived in such a beautiful world where people like you exist. You are the embodiment of all that is right with this world. I am so lucky to have lived. I have the friendship of some of the most beautiful people in the world. I have a wonderful wife, and the knowledge that I am loved. What more could anyone ask for? I hope that you have a pleasant trip, and will be soon writing the cheeky stuff that gives me the pleasure of being here at Neo. L & Hugz, Gee.
Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Gee

Awwww Gee I am human and you know my how I rant sometimes I aint always a good girl lol like my poem says Now I aint no angel no sirree I've eaten an apple from Edens tree LMAO ... but you know what I wouldnt trade a minute of the time I have spent here with you wonderful people ... I haven't just grown as a poet I have grown as a person ... With the minds that are here ?? How could I not strive to be better YOU all inspire great thoughts and feelings .. much love and biggest hugs Jayne woooooooooooot I got to see my kids :D I am a happy camper I got my own bed my kids and I am home :) happy as a pig in shit me tonight "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

16 years 9 months ago

This is my very favourite of yours ever so far

This is my very favourite of yours ever so far, lovely warm, simple, not laboured, cradling a sweet innocence. I missed it before. Cheers Anni~ "A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket". ~Charles Peguy
Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Anni ,

This is my eighteen yr old memory ... I had forgotten it till recently , and in fact ,it was at the beginning of the end, of my innocence, that this memory is from, soooo you have hit the nail right on the head , this wasn't just a train trip , it was so much more , but thats another poem ... Hugz Thanks for seeing that .. love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...
C

CyberSpace

16 years 9 months ago

aah the ol blue metal &

aah the ol blue metal & gravel & the old rattlers love it & love u if only we could have m back
Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

LOL I laughed when you

LOL I laughed when you mentioned the old rattlers at the station tonight , now you know why ... love you baby "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...
M

mantiscepter

16 years 9 months ago

Clattering.

Very nice ride,very descriptive. loved your use of words. felt like a place, I would like to be, on a journey through, your lovely little world. Mantiscepter
Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Mantis

The last time I went on one of the of rattlers I was about 18, this is just a memory from when I was young , glad you enjoyed it my friend I always get such a thrill when my friends like them ... love and hugz Jayne x x x P.S do you have a real name it would be nice to call you something other than Mantis ? lol (hug) :) "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...
Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Yuuuuuuuuuup I know who you meen LOL

And your mad but you know I love you for it lmao ... say happy birthday I am 40 today lmao ... who woulda thought I would have made forty LOL showed them pricks :) lmao love you huni biggest hugs Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...