Suicide Chick

Flows pretty well. might split up the third group. I get the feeling of relief from the final end, but I don't get the feeling that there was no other way out, like I think I should. Though death is always smiling, I don't like feeling like I took the easy way out. I'm sure the feeling is there but it needs to be emphasized a little more. None the less, good job, a joy to read.

Hmmm...the difference between me liking and loving the piece was the "emotional heft", or lack thereof. If perhaps, you were deliberately reflecting on suicide with a sort of nonchalant and cavalier tone to be used as a rhetorical device, then you were successful-at a price though. I think the poem lacked the resonance that it maybe should have possessed, but I think it can be difficult to do if you were indeed attempting to remove the act and render it devoid of the emotions conjured by the thought of exterminating oneself. Opinions, opinions...

I get the peace and calm. For some it seems that they are just to fragile to exist in this world. I tried it once and was found by accident (?) but then I don't believe in accidents. Now I have a pact with hubby, when I feel that bad, I have to give him a warning, and he gets the chance to talk me out of it. It doesn't happen often, but I have called him at work and told him how delicate I feel and he has come right home. I understand... favorite lines: No more anger No more suffering An unrepairable soul set free Now she roams Worlds unknown Suicide Chick Rest In Peace

I agree with both sides. This could have had some more emotion, at the same time I myself have written similar poems and understand how hard it is to put your full heart into a dark place that is hard to revisit. This does flow well, and I like it. These are just suggestions,some ideas for you, to maybe get some feeling in there. Scarlet Droplets Against white linen Pain draining from severed veins Weight of the world crashing through She could not be fixed Whispering while she bleeds "Won't you please let me go..." Life escaping Barely breathing Just a thought to get you started. i don't think it needs to be rewritten, but it could definitely be added to!!! Great one though, Carrie. ((HUGS)) Remember you're never alone now. There are always friends here for you. Peace n Love Katie

But not the driving force that led her there as Steele said, Katie's ideas were valid. Kenneth seems a sharp dude. He saw to the heart of the problem right off. I haven't seen him here before, and wonder if he is new. If he is, I wish to welcome him to our Neopoet family. You can always come to us for support, you know where we are. I know that you are not the kind to give up, so I am not too worried, but I know hard things are right now, so if you need to talk, you can always call me. Good work but make sure that you make it clear that this is the only way out. Then there will be no doubt that this is a really great piece! Gee.

Approaching is kinda like taking a step forward while thinking about how to watch your feet while dancing, and still looking like you know what you are doing. I know, I am still trying to write for Wendy. I have the germ of an idea, but have to find the time to flesh it out. Good luck, and if you need help, just give me a jingle. Now off to take Dancer for a walk. Maybe Jason will come too. I told him if he wanted to, I would put his bike in the car and he could ride while Dancer and I walked and chased some rabbits. Later, Gee.

like drowning, you fight at first then lulled into a peacefull death, no pain. I liked the gore too you made the horrific, beautiful.