Geezer

Aug 29, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Trippin'

Silver spots on the dirty glass,

Eyes of yellow see in the dark.

Radio-voices keep me company.

Static interruptus.

Far away and long-ago tunes,

Playing for only me.

Riding a black serpent,

Glistening stripes and dots of white,

Twisting across the country-side.

Steering with a death-grip,

Hanging on to life.

The wind shakes us, as though to be free.

Shadows and tree-clothes fly by,

Broken hangers lie in our path.

Blinking eyes hesitate at crossing.

Semi-beast roaring past, black breathed.

I see the brain lit from within,

It waves, rushing into my dark past.

Fill her up and start again,

I'm drained, refill steaming and fragrant.

Girly voice still in my ear, "Safe trip sir"

I've got a tip for you.......honey.

Fido wags his whole self,

As the rearview drops the sign behind a hill.

Twinkle diamonds now show,

Displayed on dark-blue velvet.

A silver scratch across the sky,

Heals quickly, lost in the rose glow horizon.

Tired tires hum a song of celebration.

Here I am at last!

— Geezer, Aug 29, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Emily Dickenson, Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many of the poets here at Neopoet.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Critiques

Janice Pearce

16 years 9 months ago

Trippin

Thanks for the wild road trip, I enjoyed it~ This reminds me of an exercise I was taught; Gather up a lot of phrases that catch your attention, and put them in an organized form to write a poem. Not to offend you in any way, but this reminds me of that exercise! I think it was the short line breaks that brought back this lesson. __________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

Geezer

16 years 9 months ago

Wild road trip.....

So glad you liked it! Never thought I would get such response for it. No offense taken, that is the way I work, like you describe. Sometimes I just get stuck, and then a word will come to me and even if it don't sound right, I put it down, and then the rest just floods out. I try to give seperate thoughts as a whole. Hence the breaks. Thanks for the kind comments, I think I may have to change the 'Killer' series to short stories. Gee.

mantiscepter

16 years 9 months ago

WOW !!

Well Geezer, I really think you've out done yourself with this one. great read, loved every verse, and wanted more. I'm surprised to see you made it to where you were going... far-out Dude, Keep, Trucking. { what a ride ] Mantiscepter

Geezer

16 years 9 months ago

WOW !!

Thanks Manty, I am really surprised that so many ppl like this one. I didn't think it was that good. Ya never know... LOL I guess it surprised me too, maybe the next one will be not so happy endin' Hmmmmmm. Thanks for the read, Gee.

orgami

16 years 9 months ago

car poem Hurray!!!!!!!

Cardigans have a u TUBE video with a black eldorado the cute lead drives (but after Atayas freinds were killed by a drunk driving humour of this kind is off for me) I love this poem of yours though Queens of the Stone Age have a cool graphics video called "Go with the Flow" I am glad I no longer drive I know epileptics who have crashed and although I have been free and take my medication for years I dont want another episode Love your descriptiveness of the road and wheel creatively this rocks Geezer!! fave line is "static interruptus" tremendous!!

Geezer

16 years 9 months ago

To tell the truth....

When I wrote that line, I thought you would like it! Taking the page from your book again, Org. BTW love your pic. It looks 'Fifties'. I so love that look. Like the music too. My wife is bigger fan of Doo-wop though. I love twangy guitars and drums. Even C.W. and soul music. Mostly late sixties and seventies. Thanks for your comments, and you ain't doing so bad yourself nice writes lately, Your friend, Gee

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Gee

WOW .... this is your best that I have read its awesome hun well done ... I just dont have the words but Janice says it well wild ride my friend .... great read !! ... love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Geezer

16 years 9 months ago

That means ....

That means a lot to me hun, I guess I have to do more of it huh? I got plenty of over-the-road stories I can draw on, sooo... I guess the response has caught me by surprise. I have been so taken by my 'Killer' stuff, that I failed to see what else has been on my plate right next to him. LOL Prepare for a wild ride with Killer! LOL. L & Hugz, [BIG HUG!] Gee.

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

Destination arrived,

Glad you finally made it. Alone on the road, good music, what more could you want, except to get where you gotta get. Well I think you have picked up a few hitchhikers on the way.Thanks for the lift. From Lyz.

Cloudthings

16 years 9 months ago

in the whizzing by of experience & commentary are some real gems

Wow, that was a 'rolling thunder' trip & a half... I am almost giddy from it's speed & variation... & in the whizzing by of experience & commentary are some real gems. Great to be reading you & have time to comment, I am a fan. Cheers Anni~ "A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket". ~Charles Peguy

Geezer

16 years 9 months ago

Experience...

I have this great need to give voice to the things that have made great impressions on me. I wrote this while remembering some of the road-trips between carnival stops. I often get the chance to drive long trips at night in my taxi duties, and they always take me back to those days. I think that those trips are intermingled with the ones i make now. So glad I could give you a ride that left you with such emotion. Thank you, Gee.

Nordic cloud

16 years 9 months ago

"Riding a black serpent,"

This is Orgami-like and therefore has that same wonderful collage of thought patterns woven into its structure and meanings. Well done you did it with a flare and can do more, yes more Sir Geezer. This is great stuff full of surprises. "The wind shakes us, as though to be free." "Shadows and tree-clothes fly by," "I see the brain lit from within," "Heals quickly, lost in the rose glow horizon." What fun. "As the rearview drops the sign behind a hill." Yours Q . Ann of Norway.

Geezer

16 years 9 months ago

New feature was indeed....

The new feature, of was this critique helpful? Can be, but I fear that, it will soon be a'novelty' worn off, so from now on, unless someone actually gives criticism, I will leave it blank. Mayhap, that will encourage people to actually say those things that will be helpful. [If you really like something just the way it is, leave it at that.] I know it takes time and effort to make a comment that 'critiques', but I will try my best to say what I think. I know we are all careful with our 'babies' and I pledge to say only the things I think will help. Thanks to Q- Ann for the comparison to 'O'. I have already let him know that I am looking at taking pages from his book. I so love the way he writes, it is impossible not to try and emulate him at least a little. Some of my writes just cry out for his style! That goes for any of my other Neopoetlander friends, don't be surprised if your style shows up at least a little in part. I am flagrantly stealing a little style from all of you! L & Hugz, to all, Gee