Hooded Stranger

Aug 27, 2009 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

OCD

OCD

Can't stop these persistent thoughts
Into habitual ritual, I am forced
Bursting at the seams from utter dread
Sequential processes clutter my head

Can't remove these repetitive thoughts
Into habitual ritual, I am forced
Body under pressure from the stress
Meticulous impulse I can't suppress

Obsessive-compulsive disorder
Sequential routine in strict order

My OCD
Is in my DNA
Please DNR
As I OD today
.
My OCD
Is in my DNA
Please DNR
When I OD today

Can't stop these intrusive thoughts
Into habitual ritual, I am forced
Irrational behaviour that you can all see
Psychotic depression is finally killing me

Can't remove these compulsive thoughts
Into habitual ritual, I am forced
Pushing my perfection to the extreme
Unrelenting paranoia voiced in my scream

Sequential routine in strict order
Obsessive-compulsive disorder

© 2009 Unsqueezed Productions

OCD2

Hands are clean
I check again
Down the stairs
One through to ten

Windows shut
I double check
The door is locked
Yet still I fret

Don't you fuckin' mess with the order
Leave it alone, it's my fuckin' disorder

Dot the I's
Cross the T's
Clothing perfect
Without a crease
.
Cross the T's
Dot the I's
Windscreen clear
Free from flies

The taps are off
Just a few more turns
I reach the car
My stomach churns

I check my watch
I've plenty of time
Back down the path
I follow the line

Don't you fuckin' mess with the order
Leave it alone, it's my fuckin' disorder

© 2009 Unsqueezed Productions

— Hooded Stranger, Aug 27, 2009

About the Author

Region, Country: West England, GBR

Favorite Poets: Sylvia Plath (poet), Caitlin Mattison/Eddy Styx (poet 'candlewitch'), Enda Collins (poet 'ziggy'), Martin Gore (lyricist for Depeche Mode), Neil Tennant (lyricist for Pet Shop Boys), Stefan Großmann (lyricist for Absurd Minds), Lemmy Kilmister (lyricist for Motörhead), Nathan Reiner (lyricist for Third Realm), Wayne Hussey (lyricist for The Mission), Leonard Cohen (lyricist), Tom Shear (lyricist for Assemblage 23), Clint Carney (lyricist for System Syn & Fake), Ronan Harris (lyricist for VNV Nation), Aaron Lewis (lyricist for Staind), Jason Charles Miller (lyricist for Godhead), Torben Wendt (lyricist for Diorama), Adrian Hates (lyricist for Diary Of Dreams)

Critiques

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

hello

I am a fellow sufferer of this debilitating illness. I've finally found the medication right for me, after several years of trying. I am hoping that you have, too. This poem is right on the money with its truth and imagery. I find writing a great therapy, and it looks like you do too. Awesome poem. Always, Cat

Hooded Stranger

16 years 11 months ago

Cat

Cat, I have not found the right medication, but writing helps ease the stress of it all. Maybe you'll let me know what medication works for you...although I feel if I find a cure I lose my ability to write...maybe you'll enjoy OCD2 - apologies for the language within this one but it was a bad day!! OCD2 Hands are clean I check again Down the stairs One through to ten Windows shut I double check The door is locked Yet still I fret Don't you fuckin' mess with the order Leave it alone, it's my fuckin' disorder Dot the I's and cross the T's Clothing perfect without a crease Cross the T's and dot the I's Windscreen clear free from flies The taps are off Just a few more turns I reach the car My stomach churns I check my watch I've plenty of time Back down the path I follow the line © 2009 Unsqueezed Productions

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

hello

I take sersone and abilify. I am still able to write, and that is a point of highest order for me. In February, I was diagnosed with Inverse psoriasis, which means that I have to use a steroidal cream on the lesions, everyday. This gets into my blood stream and effects the OCD. My psychiatrist and I are trying to work it out again. I was fine before the steroids. OCD2 I know just what you mean. Everything has to be done in a certain way, and then checked several times. I think you should post this poem, if you haven't already. It really is revealing about the disorder. My favorite lines are: Don’t you fuckin’ mess with the order Leave it alone, it’s my fuckin’ disorder Dot the I’s and cross the T’s Clothing perfect without a crease Cross the T’s and dot the I’s Windscreen clear free from flies Every line is exceptional, though. Always, Cat

Hooded Stranger

16 years 11 months ago

Cat

Cat, I didn't know what Inverse psoriasis was so I just took a look at it. It appears to be very painful. I am sorry you suffer from this and that the steroids affect your OCD...OCD is bad enough but when added to Inverse psoriasis it must be awful and very depressing. The good thing is you are fighting it and also still writing...has the condition made you write about it? I am struggling a little with this forum...when you say I should post it...I thought I had by using 'submit a poem'...am I missing something? It was written originally as a poem, but I gave it a chorus and my band will be recording next year. I'll keep you posted and make sure you get a promo copy of it before it is released. Now you take care and get better...if I can be of any use...like discussing OCD or anything...you just let me know...I am making a lot of good friends here. regards, HS

jetz

16 years 11 months ago

H.S. If I say I enjoyed

H.S. If I say I enjoyed this, is that a bad thing? I do not suffer from this, well, certainly not to this degree. I would imagine writing this has to be somewhat liberating. You tell the story well, with great imagery throughout. I checked out your site, and somehow, I doubt any medication would rob you of your writing talent. Thanks for sharing. Sue

Hooded Stranger

16 years 11 months ago

Sue

If writing helps me to get through some difficult parts of my day that is great but for someone else to enjoy my work makes it all worthwhile. It is not a bad thing to like this piece. I thank you for taking time out to visit my site and thank you for your kind words. I have written about 400 poems/songs and so far 7 of them have been released as songs. I will never have time to record all these songs so I thought I could share them here...well not all of them of course!! I am off to check out your work...kindest regards to you, HS

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

Dear HS

Submitting as a poem should do it. I know it takes a little while to learn how to navigate your way around, but that will get easier for you. Your songs will be most welcome here. I write lyrics, too, but I can't write the music that goes with them, so I'm out of luck. The poem I posted titled "String Of Pain" is lyrics, so feel free to have a look. Always, Cat

Hooded Stranger

16 years 11 months ago

Cat

I think I'm getting the idea of how the site works. I took the liberty of looking at your lyrics...and then I totally messed with them and created a song for you...oh I do hope you like it. It is attached to the original posting of 'String of Pain' regards HS (fingers very crossed)

lyz

16 years 11 months ago

Dear HS.

You have a talent, use ,it abuse it, no one, or any medication can ever take away what is in your heart, soul or mind. The old adage, The pen is mightier than the sword.Writing helps immensely as well as the old chinwag, and heed Cats words, I feel she is an old soul.A lovely woman. Keep up the writing and let us know when your hit, hits the airways here in Australia. I do know there is many a friend on this site, We do love your raw and heartfelt words. Love,Lyz.x

Hooded Stranger

16 years 10 months ago

Lyz

Thank you for your kind words. I agree the pen is mightier than the sword. Writing has always been my way of dealing with my issues...it is more enjoyable when I can turn a negative into a positive by writing and then sharing...your comments mean more to me than you'll ever know. Thank you. I have found many good friends here already and I am just a newbie...a wonderful forum indeed, regards, HS

infinite_dwarf

16 years 11 months ago

Hello

This is a very raw and real write. The repetition found within it solidifies its point. I agree with Cat - the second poem that you had written in your comment is definitely very strong. Fingers crossed that some sort of combination will appear and work for you. .....and a belated welcome to the site. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, then piss on it and walk away!" - unknown

Hooded Stranger

16 years 10 months ago

Jess

Jess, thanks for the warm welcome to this forum. OCD is a difficult condition as it isn't like a broken arm where you can see it openly, it is inside and usually hidden by the individual so others are not aware, this prevents embarrassment or ridicule. I am at the point of happily being open about it...you wouldn't believe the many people I know now who have had it for years and have never told anyone. I have written OCD3 & OCD4, but to keep posting them would mean I'd probably have to set up my own forum with a sole purpose of collecting OCD poems!! LOL! thank you for commenting on the posting...I really appreciate it. thanks, HS

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