immalleable

I've tried so hard
to be the things
I thought that I should be

I cried so hard
to break myself
my life I had to flee

I've screwed it up
lost everything
how will you see my fear

I cannot dream
I only scream
the word you'll never hear

when I denied
you begged and tried
you didn't understand

so I gave in
you walked away
ignored my open hand

I've screwed it up
lost everything
it's to time make my stand

I cannot cry
I'd only lie
to die at your command

I've tried so hard
to not become
the things I hate to see

I've hurt so hard
I'm now a shard
of who I might have been

I've screwed it up
I can't say why
won't do it yet again

I will not be
if I'm not free
the means unto my end

just go away
leave me alone
I'm tired of all these games

plasticity
I'll never be
shove me aside
ashamed

I cannot be
these things I see
around me
shallow shit

take it away
the pain you play
your plastic makes me sick