misery

I have made a few suggestions to give you an idea where you could go with this one , is has a lot of potenial I never thought in a milion years That I could cry so many tears-----that eyes could cry so many tears I thought that I was made of steel---thinking I was made of steel That this pain was for the weak to feel---and that pain was for the weak to feel You tore me apart with your words of hate---Tearing me apart with words of hate In doing so, you sealed my fate--- a wicked tongue did seal my fate This hurt I feel will never cease----this hurting felt, will never cease For me there will be no more peace I loved this one but I thought there was too many I's and ands and stuff ... so i have done a quick edit because I honestly believe it gives YOUR words more power I really liked this one and would like to give it a five ... sorry i didnt get time to do the whole poem its dinnertime at the Zoo and you know how that is LMAO ... love and hugz Jayne x x x P.S I will be back in the edits ... I loved this one I think its close to being your best just needs a tidy up ... "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

It Is beautiful;, Green Eyes. Flowed very well and the rhyming was fine. I think Jayne has got some good suggestions, specially "That I could cry so many tears—–that eyes could cry so many tears... Enjoyed the poem a lot. Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

I never thought in a milion years
 That I could cry so many tears 
I thought  that I was made of steel
 That this pain was for the weak to feel...(that SUCH pain)
 You tore me apart with your words of hate 
In doing so, you sealed my fate...........(AND doing so)
 This hurt I feel will never cease 
For me there will be no peace......................(this line is a slightly unpoetic way of saying things)
 I wish that I just didnt care
 But I do and I’m broken beyond repair
 You destroyed the light that lit my soul
 If this was your plan, you reached your goal
 I tell myself it will be okay......( okay is....?- but it rhymes you argue?)
 That it will be better with each passing day.......( this line also)
 But this isnt even remotely true 
Never will I stop missing you...........................(never will I cease missing you?)
 You were with another but said it was I
 That is just another lie 
You have ruined what was good in me
 My heart is held captive to never be free...(captive -cut out TO-never to be free) 
I hate love poems as a rule......................(I dislike poems of love as a rule- not fond of this-"as a rule") 
Which shows that I am such a fool
 Yes it does not matter how hard I try.......( No matter how I try and try...or something?) 
I will be loving you till the day I die..........( I'll love you till my dying day...or?) ***************************************** Do you think it looks easier to read with some gaps? A slightly unpoetic way of saying things here and there for me :- And that's the slight feeling I get, its fine but...and then I would like a little bitl less statement of facts, I don't quite know how to say it but...I've tried in my way just thoughts about your poem with love from Ann

Sorry, I have been trying to keep up. I love your words and I missed this. I have read it now. Yes ,different, but who ever put pain into such a pure heart, sorry, needs a kick up the kyber pass. Where is that gentle, sweet, memory giver? I know ur back, but this one made me sad. We survive, dear heart. I did enjoy reading this, very well written. Love.Lyzx.

Love poems are from the heart and they are beautiful, some filed with sadness,with a little bit of hope, others can tear the color, from the sky,and make you cry. This poem is filled with your beauty and soul, it can't help but be beautiful. Nicely Done as always. Mantiscepter