The less than virtuous me

You wrote the feeling and emotions in this beautifully. I really understand the feeling you portrayed in stanza 3 of not understanding why love ones are or were the way they are. It flowed really well. ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Bow. ~A

There isn't a comment I could leave here that would do this justice... your in my thoughts and prayers ... Love and hugz Jayne x x x We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall ...

Richard, this is brutally honest. Extremely powerful stuff, your pen is linked directly to your heart dear moonman and I love to read your truth. Did you mean decent or descent (this ties in with the put down line quite nicely)? Really emotive write Richard, hard times my friend, thinking of you too, much love Beki xx Ps, what is your favourite colour? more love xx

You are an incredible person. I cannot imagine a Father who didn't love and respect you. If only he had truly known you I'm sure he would have been very proud of the intelligent, talented gentle man that you are. I'm so glad that you are here on neo, where we have gotten to know you from both your work and the caring comments you have made on others work. We love you Richard and we are proud to know you. Always, Cat

Yes a Brutal honest look and great poem favourite colours favourite family sons/daughters memories now all even I gleaning through the wheat and chaff letting introspection and winds of time help me in my seeking Thank You Richard

I like this poem a lot. It makes a good study of an all too common problem in most families. Some of us were needy kids longing for affection, and so --like you say-- luckily learned to love first. Others of us will wait in line for our turn to feel our father's love, and this was badly interpreted as indifference. Now, I got carried away with this explanation that I probably wanted to give myself. Respectfully, Hugo

Rings a familiar bell. the loss is felt. so is wondering; of what if. nicely written. mantiscepter

touching indeed. this is the time wher you must stand alone , feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams, appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to find your own true sense of purpose in life. it took courage for you to be the person that you are today and i am sure that you are a better man than you father was, thank you for being a man that you are.

I just want to sit in silence... powerful. bungalogic creator of runopians

First of all, thanks for opening up your soul to all of us here on the site. My condolences to you Richard.Thank you Snake, for giving Richard the encouragement to post this. Give yourself credit you are such a different man than your own dad, you broke the mold! Gut-wrenching and well penned Moon! __________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

Blessed with a step father much like yours I would Imagine I don't know his favorite color or anything real about him and I have known him since age two We attemped from time to to time but never seem to conect with any thing now we are just civil to one another since Mom is gone Some things are the way they are wether we like it or not But we can't dewl on things not meant to be for what ever reason they are they are. Not much help I know but I am not a Bar tender any more tonight drink your beer and get out of here. Nice heart felt right with a little twist we all need to make what we want to happen or it won't Donnie/Sinbad But, if we try a least we can say we tried.

Terrific poem, Richard. Its contents are epic in significance for most of us. Not just because it recites the pains of the you who we care for so much but because your self-awareness becomes the balm to be potentially applied by all in self-doctoring and the respondent voices are contributors to your self-healing: in short, an early template for stanching wounds, if not lasering away the scars. These are words which hit the emote button precisely. Congratulations on the poem! Condolences on the loss of your father. Brian

You pushed the emote button with so many of us. I too had a father who didn't know how to connect solidly. [ His alcoholism didn't help]. We did have some good times at the end, and it made me want to know my sons better. I am still working on it. Thank you so much for this write, Richard. Gee.

This must have been difficult to write. I can tell by your last line that you really did sort of understand your father. Many people in that era are/were very closed. That's just the way it is/was. Your poem gives us all understanding and incentive to not be closed off from our loved ones. I think he did love you in the way he knew how. The Richard I know is most lovable, and he must have learned that in part from his father. Your last line is a revelation. Deelilah

I came to writing as a self theraphy and it is a way that can express from withing a well of words I cannot sometimes speak but not only is your poem awesome and definatly heartfelt but the response to your sharing is incredible. We forget sometimes that through this sharing , through this site we transend many, many countries with our words and the true raw honesty, as you have shown here is universally felt. I think in your resonse to Snakes poem you have begun a chain of release. I look forward to the reading of thoes , maybe you have even given me the bravery to place up some of mine too. Thanks Liz

There's nothing wrong with screaming and crying. laughing.... *I shall be released*... We've become fearful of feeling the truth of our lives. We have learned to be silenced of our honest emotions. We have learned to be fearful of one another. Love. ~A

brilliant, simply brilliant ♣

In saying that, I know this feeling. You are a brilliant poet and this is an exceptionally honest view u have shared, very heartfelt and I am glad to have had the privilege. Lyz.

Richard This is gutt wrenching it hits me hard too but I know only too well what it is like. You find you birth parents for a few years but from them i never ever heard the words i longed for most. "I love you" from them or my mother my father no conversations no hugs no nothing. Just strangers who spoke little I was invisible then and now Yes i am angry when i see others being show love given hugs - being - sharing together etc Why was i not allowed or worthy enouth to have this? An outcast always even now no one to love me or even care not even me So why be................ Your third verse hit me hard just reminding me of all that i have never had but longed for Was I so unlovable not worth of a decent conversation the constant put downs this faliable being just used to be a second mother to the other children so no time of being a child for myself no me just the shadow left silent in the day and the night Just being told no one will want you no one would want to love you no expectaion - nothing As i know nothing of love who would i ever know what it is if you have never known it But then I believed i found true love once and only once but thrown away spurned what is the point of being at all if you are not a being of any kind just a shadow no one sees. Haunted by ocean blue eyes am i. The only true love i have ever known Who will love me - no one When the time comes for me there will be only me as there is no other but me Electric Blue