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Primal (adult content)

.


your mouth at my breast,
your eager
seeking lips
tug the primal cord in my belly

probing fingers play me
and perfumed thighs have no will  of their own-

your hunger
brings me home.


.
— pleiades, Aug 25, 2009

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P

pleiades

16 years 9 months ago

the spinal tap of eritic

the spinal tap of eritic energy indeed! i don't usually write erotic stuff, but i was feeling rather...well...frisky! (ahhh...memories) many thanks for yor review
Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

I wanted more, sorry but I

I wanted more, sorry but I am greedy ... lol Great write I enjoyed it though ... Regards Jayne "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...
M

mantiscepter

16 years 9 months ago

EROTIC [PRIMAL]

Very sensual, Inviting. Loved it. I believe it says it all. you could have coaxed me into another ; say 30 stanzas [Earthly} well written. Mantiscepter
KS

Kenneth Sharp

16 years 9 months ago

Titillating!

A masterful second stanza is the appropriate 'pinnacle' of this piece.
O

orgami

16 years 9 months ago

Pleiades

what a most sensual poem you have created "perfumed thighs" we have a huge SEARS outlet in north america and a store in our NOrthgate Mall here in my city I think the only place with fine attendants and display sample bottles of Expensive perfumes and mens colognes I cant describe how it is to walk into this place and sample the far-out-of-reach price of such lovely scents provocatuer of memory scent is anyway you know how I love your work Mr Orgami!!
P

pleiades

16 years 9 months ago

mr o!…a pleasure to see

mr o!...a pleasure to see you here. i think scent is one of the most evocative of the senses. you know my thoughts on erotic/sensual poetry... i seldom read it, let alone write it. but sometimes...well, a gal has needs... this was a lovely memory condensed into the verses before you. i'll visit very soon. p.
OM

odd molly

16 years 9 months ago

Dear P there are lots of

Dear P there are lots of sensual poems out there and sometimes it can feel as when you have read one of these, you've read them all because they do not say much to the reader, but more for the author. It is difficult to write a sensual poem containing the xtra which makes it attractive and interesting. You have with so few words, managed to write a beautiful and seductive poem and as I always say you're an incredibly talented poet. Much Love and Love. O molly
P

pleiades

16 years 9 months ago

o m, apologies for such a

o m, apologies for such a late response...things are crazy at the moment. you know how highly i regard your work, so words of praise from you are words of praise indeed. thank you so much. i'll visit as soon as i catch up with the backlog. love to you, p.
W

Wafi

16 years 9 months ago

Well Done, Indeed!

Well done, indeed! Loved the depth of sensual feelings in this... Like your critique on others work, which I found to be great, this poem of yours also impressed me.Enjoyed the sensuality involved. I Liked your reply to Jayne, too ;) Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~
P

pleiades

16 years 9 months ago

thanks for your kind review,

thanks for your kind review, and for your comments re my critiques...very kind of you to make mention. i look forward to reading more of your work. cheers, p.
O

orgami

16 years 4 months ago

what? what?

crimson pleasure breeze the wave of magnesium BTU's smooth like oiled waves that calm the turpid deep of please inhale the promise of the tease a sensual script for loves decrees
WW

Will Wright

16 years 4 months ago

Playtime at the station

This almost reads like a couple of haiku. Effective use of spacing, loved the alliteration,loved the rhythm, effective use of anaphora, and brevity gives it greater impact. It's certainly graphic, but I don't find it sensual. It seems playful, joyful and then - BOOM! It brings you home, and I know what you mean. Well done.