Sara, whose last name I will not use,  has been a dear friend of mine for the last five years.  Perhaps the best word that comes to my mind when think of her is: “Survivor”, with a solid gold S on the beginning of that word.  She has lived through things most of us just read about (”There go I for the grace of God”) and come out swinging.  Though I won’t divulge all the personal details, believe you me, the trauma she has suffered is unbelievable and the fact that she can advocate, or attempt to advocate for herself at all is a testimony to the near indestructibility of the human spirit. 

She sent this letter to President Barack Obama and then graciously allowed me to use it.

Sara has suffered from Paranoid Schizophrenia and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from a painfully young age and, as she will attest for herself with a letter describing her own plight, America’s health care system has done very little to relieve that suffering. 

Read this, and know: Sara is an actual human being who wakes up every day with pain that is unimaginable to the majority of us.  Read this, and know: the fate of her psyche may be very much at risk if Barack Obama’s Health Care Plan is not passed.  Read this, and know: when a Republican tells you your life is being invaded by the government and that anyone who advocates this plan is a Nazi, remember all those images of the mentally ill dying abominable deaths in concentration camps or “sent to heaven” via euthanasia, which this bill does NOT ADVOCATE (if these people took the time to read the bill, they’d know that–but wait, it wouldn’t solve anything).   Read and know.

“I have suffered from mental illness most, if not all, of my life. I am 25 years old.
 
When I was 15 I was finally diagnosed with Major Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
 
 I received treatment, outside of what my school could offer, for a little over a year. My parents didn’t like the treatment I was getting and couldn’t afford to bring me anywhere other than to our counties Unified Services, so they just took me out of it.
 
When I was 17 another traumatic event was added onto my PTSD diagnoses/cause.
 
I lost the first and only job I’ve ever had when I was 24. I was there for 6 years. My mind got to the point that I just couldn’t work any more. The last two years I worked were complete hell.
 
When I was 22 I started getting help for Mental Illness again because my Boss helped me to go to the employee assistance program, which gave a few sessions for free.
 
Once I started going for full time Mental Heath outpatient services I was diagnosed with  Schizoaffective Bipolar type, Major Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
 
In those two years I was hospitalized 3 times for being extremely suicidal. I just  couldn’t handle life anymore. I couldn’t handle the voices, I couldn’t handle the things I was seeing, I couldn’t handle day to day life… I just couldn’t handle anything. I thought I had no other option other than to end my life. I couldn’t live in the hell anymore.
 
Finally I took the advice of all of my Mental Health workers and Boss and stopped working.
 
In between the time I stopped working and started to receive SSDI I didn’t have any form of income, so I got full medicaid and it covered ALL of my medical expenses (which are a ton).
 
Now I have SSDI and Medicaid tells me that I have to much income for regular Medicaid, but because I am legally disabled I can pay a spend down of $140 a month to be covered.
 
SSDI wants to raise my monthly income because they say I am not getting enough. Actually my income from them right now is based on having no bills what so ever which is far from the truth. I have to pay for rent, utilities, food, transportation and the other basics. As it stands right now I have to decide what bills I’m going to pay this month or if I’m going to pay my spenddown.
 
 I just don’t have the income to match everything…. so the lights might get shut off and I won’t have the air conditioning to keep my body temperature down due to the side effects from the medication, but I will still be able to see my doctors and take my medication… -or- I don’t get to see my doctors or take my medication but I can keep the lights on and keep from passing out due to the heat…. then again if I don’t take my medication I will wind up in the hospital again. So tell me where is my choice in this matter?
 
There is no point in me telling them what I pay for bills because anything extra they give me will just go to Medicaid anyway.
 
I NEED to have some form of Medical Insurance. I have at least 3 appointments with Mental Health professionals every month alone. I have to get 6 prescriptions at least filled every month just for Mental Illness reasons.
 
This doesn’t even include any regular doctor visits that I need, or the ones to deal with the side effects of the medications I have to take. This doesn’t include having to go to the dentist. This doesn’t include when I have to go inpatient at a hospital for my own safety and/or the safety of others.
 
What am I supposed to do? I don’t have enough income to buy my own insurance, yet I get to much income to get Medicaid without a spend down.
 
 How is $919 a month enough to cover everything? Well $779 if you take away what Medicaid takes from me each month.
 
How is it right that I am disabled and NEED medical care in order to stay alive yet I’m faced with having to choose between getting the medical care I so desperately need and taking the 19 pills a day -or- paying for my bills on time and other necessities? No one should ever have to make this choice!!!
 
Also because I have a spend down with Medicaid I cannot have managed care so that means I only have straight Medicaid. Do you know how hard it is to find Health Care Professionals that take just straight Medicaid? I end up going to people I don’t really like and that are not really helping me much at all just because there is no one else I can go to.
 
Now I’m stuck getting Mental Heath care at a place that I hate with a LCSW-R that just sits there and pretty much stares at me. Why can’t I go to a good therapist that is going to actually help me? I didn’t ask to be Mentally Ill, I didn’t ask to be disabled and unable to work, I didn’t ask for any of this. Why can’t I have insurance that is actually going to cover the help I so desperately need?
 
I have some type of infection or something going on and have for the last few months but I couldn’t find a doctor that would take my Medicaid. I finally found one but because the only doctor I found that will take Medicaid in my area already has a lot of patients I haven’t been able to even get an appointment with him until I went to the ER for another problem and he was forced to see me within two days.
 
Now this doctor had me go get an ultrasound done at the hospital because he thinks I may have a blockage in the bile duct leading from my gallbladder to my stomach. He told me he wanted to see me in a week but the appointment was made for a month. My dad kept calling the office and finally the doctor told him he would just see me in a month, he doesn’t have the results yet anyway. This doctor’s office is a branch off of the hospital he sent me to so I know it doesn’t take a month to get ultrasound results!
 
I haven’t even been able to address the possible infection or whatever it is yet. I DO NOT want to go to this doctor. He is male and part of my Post Traumatic Stress  Disorder causes me to only see female doctors. What am I supposed to do? I can’t see the doctor that I’ve been seeing for the past 17 if not more years because I don’t have heath insurance that they will take. I don’t have heath insurance that pretty much any one will take and I can’t afford to get something better.
 
So many people are against Heath Care Reform… well you know what? To those people I say this,  Would you rather be paying for people to be in long term care facilities because they were not able to get the simple basic care that they needed?
 
I cried the entire time I wrote this, but I just wanted you to know how much  better quality people’s lives could be if very important changes are made to our Health Care system.”