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She Comes And Goes

                                           As a breeze will blow hurriedly
                                                  across a sunlit prairie,
                                           or the last winter snow will fall
                                     and blanket a cold country landscape,
                                                  I find to sad revelation
                                                  that like those things........
                                              my angel comes and goes.
                                                Sometimes,she smiles.
                                                Softened lips will open,
                                         and angelic words will spill forth
                                       as the waters of a rushing waterfall,
                              and they splash helplessly through my heart...
                                             ....and straight to my soul.
                    Even still,like the sunrises and sunsets of evenings past,
                                           where I call melodiously to her......
                                      My angel once more,comes and goes.
                                            One day,she will come again.
                         And then will I wait for her at the gate of my dreams
                                                     for her sure arrival.
                                                 And when she passes,
                                    I will claim her to me,asking with a kiss
                                        for my angel to depart never more.
— JWwildcat2012, Aug 24, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Brownsville,KY USA

Favorite Poets: D. H Lawrence and Robert Frost

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Critiques

Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Lovely write and its

Lovely write and its beautifully writen with just enough sentiment to not make it sickly sweet ... And then will I wait for her at the gate of mydreams for her sure arrival. And when she passes, I will claim her to me,asking with a kiss for my angel to depart never more. Beautiful finish .. Regards Jayne :) "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

16 years 9 months ago

James

The pacing and organisation of this write was put together very well. The soft and sweet undertones of love and longing are boldly apparent. I do have a suggestion: though I'm self-admittedly an ellipse junkie, I feel they were a bit overdone, and thus detracted from the work. I like being built up and led into a thought, but if it's every other sentence, it sort of loses its magic, you know? I would go back through, and find the spots where you'd really like to build up suspense, and stick one there, or maybe a hyphen. =) ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, then piss on it and walk away!" - unknown
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 9 months ago

Oh Scott may your angel come to you

Oh Scott may your angel come to you, at least in your dreams, you sound so full of yearning. The idea is lovely but it stilts a tiny bit for me here and there, the tenses are a little mixed I think! :- Like a hurried breeze across the sunlit prairie, or last winter's snow falling, blanketing a bleak cold landscape, an apparition reigns in my mind It is my angel, she comes and she goes. Sometimes she smiles her soft lips open and strangely beautiful words spill from them as the waters of a gushing waterfall they splash right into my helpless heart and come to rest in my soul. Eternally as the sun sets and rises I call with mellowed voice, she comes again, to leave and to return. One day she will come as I wait at the gate of my dreams for her certain arrival, and when she passes I will draw her to me, claim her with a kiss in the hope of leaving her no more. Love Ann of Norway
L

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

Dear James

Bloody hell, you done it again.My fingers are getting sore. Awesome. Lyz.