Seren

Aug 23, 2009 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Mushrooms to Love

Under a mushroom
fast asleep,
A gnome does rest
his tired feet

Dancing all night
to songs of love,
sung to a rhythm
he now dreams of

Guzzling wine
the faeries made,
sprinkled with magic
his legs did sway

A beautiful elf
drifted his sight,
breath did catch
and eyes did light

Stumbling words
flowed from lips,
his heart paused
a total eclipse

A gnome found love
in dance last night,
and now he dreams
of elves in tights

Resting his head
with mushroom above,
the gnome and elf
did fall in love

— Seren, Aug 23, 2009

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

docmaverick

16 years 11 months ago

Sweet baby Jayne....

...I thoroughly "dug" this one....it was right up my alley, as they say. It was a wonderful write because it incorporated the true feeling of love with a fictitious character. Then, it was too delightful of you to give the gift of hope to love lorn gnomes, everywhere. Kudos to you, my dear...kudos ! You really ARE a "gem"! "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick. p.s.) If your first "moniker" be Seren...then, would your last name be, "dipity"?

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Dearest Doc

This is one for kids and I am so glad you got the spirit of the gnome and the elf LOL they too deserve hope ;) he he .... And I have to say my Nana used to called me Baby Jayne and then when I got older Lady Jayne , your comment made me smile big ones lol and seren ? is short for dipity lol, couldnt have serendipity when I started here ... thanks for the read I am so happy you liked it !! Love and hugz Jayne P.S I loved your teacher poem its one of my favourites of yours , I had to go back and read it last night lol .. (hug) "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

greeneyes

16 years 11 months ago

My Idol

I believe this is my favorite,wow Jayne you are to big for a simple poetry sight. You need to be in print. Always, Elizabeth

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Elizabeth

I dont know that I have been anyones Idol before, but what a lovely thing to say !! I am still learning, but I love writing, the joy I get from the comments I get here is enough for me ... thanks for your continued support it is much appreciated .. love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Quillsvein1

16 years 11 months ago

this is

very heartwarming and refreshing in a sense. the gnome and elf falling in love the end! cute! lol. very well done. GB

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Gb

So glad you enjoyed this one, I recently finished a poem called cathedral to dream I owe you a debt of thanks for that poem it had taken me months to get it finished and it was you that inspired its final completion ... I am so glad you got the cuteness of this one, it was just a bit of fun (hug) ty very much Love Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Pixee

16 years 11 months ago

Nice Write!

I agree with green eyes, Seren you should be in print. I have been reading your poetry for sometime now. I think you are a wonderful and gifted writer. I read alot of poems on this sight, but I don't comment like I should. I'm not that good at critiqueing, but I try my best though. I like this poem, it is just what a child would like, gnomes and elfs. Keep up the great reads I love to read your work. Take care and I'll read you later. Your Friend, Pixee

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Pixie

You know I have been meaning to say something to you for a while, It doesnt matter if you cannot critique ?,I am still learning myself ? sometimes feeling I am not equiped to throughly give a poem what it deserves in those cases , I give a comment on how the poem made me feel, feeling is after all what poetry is about ... Your thoughts and opinions are valued on my page , Pixie I do wish you would spread your dust all over neopoet and comment at will no matter what skill level your at , my dear friend your ideas are apart of neopoet, I do hope you think about that, because even though you say you cannot critque ? You bring warm smiles to this heart and I am sure that others wouldn't mind either, your a lovely asset to the site ... Love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

lyz

16 years 11 months ago

I like

Okay, I saw a bit of jovial wit in this poem. It made me smile. I liked the lines, And now he dreams, Of elves in tights. Don't we all, Ha! Luv Lyz

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Lyz

SO glad you got the jovial feel of this one , it was meant to be taken lightly and in fun !!! Your comment made me smile , I am so glad that Jade got you to join the site will be looking for your new poem ;) lol much love and hugz Jayneeeeeeeeee x x (JayKnee is what Jadey babe calls me) lol "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Janice Pearce

16 years 11 months ago

Mushrooms to Love

Jayne, Cute and whymsical! __________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Janice

So glad you got the light feel of this one thank you for your comment and read it is much appreciated ... love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

infinite_dwarf

16 years 11 months ago

Jayne

This light-hearted write brought a much-needed smile to my face. As you know, I love fanciful tales of little imps, and this one definitely did not disappoint. Have you given thought to writing children's literature? ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, then piss on it and walk away!" - unknown

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Jess

There is hope for all our elf friends, and if I can draw a smile thats enough for me that was my intention with this one .. lighter smiling words I love writing Songs for kids and all my kids have their own song that I have made up for them when they where small, And I plan to write more poems for kids, nothing better than having a laugh I still read Enid Blyton and Miss potter ;) shes my favourite lol I know big kid !! (hug) glad you got a smile huni thought we all needed to be cheered up ;) Love Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

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