Seren

Aug 23, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Mushrooms to Love

Under a mushroom
fast asleep,
A gnome does rest
his tired feet

Dancing all night
to songs of love,
sung to a rhythm
he now dreams of

Guzzling wine
the faeries made,
sprinkled with magic
his legs did sway

A beautiful elf
drifted his sight,
breath did catch
and eyes did light

Stumbling words
flowed from lips,
his heart paused
a total eclipse

A gnome found love
in dance last night,
and now he dreams
of elves in tights

Resting his head
with mushroom above,
the gnome and elf
did fall in love

— Seren, Aug 23, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

docmaverick

16 years 9 months ago

Sweet baby Jayne....

...I thoroughly "dug" this one....it was right up my alley, as they say. It was a wonderful write because it incorporated the true feeling of love with a fictitious character. Then, it was too delightful of you to give the gift of hope to love lorn gnomes, everywhere. Kudos to you, my dear...kudos ! You really ARE a "gem"! "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick. p.s.) If your first "moniker" be Seren...then, would your last name be, "dipity"?

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Doc

This is one for kids and I am so glad you got the spirit of the gnome and the elf LOL they too deserve hope ;) he he .... And I have to say my Nana used to called me Baby Jayne and then when I got older Lady Jayne , your comment made me smile big ones lol and seren ? is short for dipity lol, couldnt have serendipity when I started here ... thanks for the read I am so happy you liked it !! Love and hugz Jayne P.S I loved your teacher poem its one of my favourites of yours , I had to go back and read it last night lol .. (hug) "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

greeneyes

16 years 9 months ago

My Idol

I believe this is my favorite,wow Jayne you are to big for a simple poetry sight. You need to be in print. Always, Elizabeth

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Elizabeth

I dont know that I have been anyones Idol before, but what a lovely thing to say !! I am still learning, but I love writing, the joy I get from the comments I get here is enough for me ... thanks for your continued support it is much appreciated .. love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Quillsvein1

16 years 9 months ago

this is

very heartwarming and refreshing in a sense. the gnome and elf falling in love the end! cute! lol. very well done. GB

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Gb

So glad you enjoyed this one, I recently finished a poem called cathedral to dream I owe you a debt of thanks for that poem it had taken me months to get it finished and it was you that inspired its final completion ... I am so glad you got the cuteness of this one, it was just a bit of fun (hug) ty very much Love Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Pixee

16 years 9 months ago

Nice Write!

I agree with green eyes, Seren you should be in print. I have been reading your poetry for sometime now. I think you are a wonderful and gifted writer. I read alot of poems on this sight, but I don't comment like I should. I'm not that good at critiqueing, but I try my best though. I like this poem, it is just what a child would like, gnomes and elfs. Keep up the great reads I love to read your work. Take care and I'll read you later. Your Friend, Pixee

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Pixie

You know I have been meaning to say something to you for a while, It doesnt matter if you cannot critique ?,I am still learning myself ? sometimes feeling I am not equiped to throughly give a poem what it deserves in those cases , I give a comment on how the poem made me feel, feeling is after all what poetry is about ... Your thoughts and opinions are valued on my page , Pixie I do wish you would spread your dust all over neopoet and comment at will no matter what skill level your at , my dear friend your ideas are apart of neopoet, I do hope you think about that, because even though you say you cannot critque ? You bring warm smiles to this heart and I am sure that others wouldn't mind either, your a lovely asset to the site ... Love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

I like

Okay, I saw a bit of jovial wit in this poem. It made me smile. I liked the lines, And now he dreams, Of elves in tights. Don't we all, Ha! Luv Lyz

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Lyz

SO glad you got the jovial feel of this one , it was meant to be taken lightly and in fun !!! Your comment made me smile , I am so glad that Jade got you to join the site will be looking for your new poem ;) lol much love and hugz Jayneeeeeeeeee x x (JayKnee is what Jadey babe calls me) lol "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Janice Pearce

16 years 9 months ago

Mushrooms to Love

Jayne, Cute and whymsical! __________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Janice

So glad you got the light feel of this one thank you for your comment and read it is much appreciated ... love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

infinite_dwarf

16 years 9 months ago

Jayne

This light-hearted write brought a much-needed smile to my face. As you know, I love fanciful tales of little imps, and this one definitely did not disappoint. Have you given thought to writing children's literature? ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, then piss on it and walk away!" - unknown

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Jess

There is hope for all our elf friends, and if I can draw a smile thats enough for me that was my intention with this one .. lighter smiling words I love writing Songs for kids and all my kids have their own song that I have made up for them when they where small, And I plan to write more poems for kids, nothing better than having a laugh I still read Enid Blyton and Miss potter ;) shes my favourite lol I know big kid !! (hug) glad you got a smile huni thought we all needed to be cheered up ;) Love Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...