doorman

Aug 21, 2009 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

My songbird

A taunt behind your tongue-in-cheek

Eyes smile,- bargaining to be found out

Devil's coy trick

You're game now!

You think you can hide from me?

Run with those delicate bare feet

A flash of spring

Giggling hysterically!

My tickles swapped for twitches

Your bites of pleasure to redress

A needy beast

Preludes our felicity

— doorman, Aug 21, 2009

About the Author

Country/Region: NOR

Critiques

Ravenshakti

16 years 11 months ago

Very, Very fine....

I have to tell you; This is very, very fine... One of your best. I like it's touch... Raven

doorman

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Raven

Thank you. It was an enjoyable write,- and now I'm beaming by your compliment! Yours, Espen.

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Like Raven I too think this is one of your best its brilliant .. loved every line but these lines where the clincher for me My tickles swapped for twitches Your bites of pleasure to redress A needy beast Preludes our felicity wow how wonderfully powerful are those words ... I cannot see a fault, beautiful work ... regards Jayne :) We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall ...

doorman

16 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Jayne!

I'm very happy you liked it. The last stanza gave me trouble, but after some revision I felt it click. Coming from a wordsmith like yourself, the compliment means a lot to me. All the best, Espen.

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

Oooh you cheeky imp, you are a secret satyre I believe, this is

Oooh you cheeky imp, you are a secret satyre I believe, this is a joy, I love it & perfect in form for the write it is Yay... my vote easily, a relief & a pleasure & a thing to put a smile on any lasses lips I think... Hmm yes, I can see it in the picture now exactly, framed so the small horns of puck are hidden, the furry goat thighs ready to spring, look at that! Cheers Anni~ "A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket". ~Charles Peguy

doorman

16 years 10 months ago

To Cloudthing

How on earth did you.. ah, I see,- you're one of the Nephelae, aren't you, Anni. I guess I might as well let my horns grow out again, and stop shaving my legs. Anyway, thanks for the rain,- good for the grapes, you know. But most of all for letting me know the write put a smile on your face. Sincerely yours, Espen.

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

just keep writing furry legs, it is the ambrosia of nymphs & eve

Horned or not, just keep writing furry legs, it is the ambrosia of nymphs & even more common folk. PS did I tell you how I admire the subtlety of the name you chose, looks so sweet & innocent for such a wicked write with a wicked bite! Cheers Anni~ "A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket". ~Charles Peguy

lyz

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Doorman

Quite a flirty write, cheeky and very entertaining. Great piece. Enjoyed very much. Lyz XX

doorman

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Lyz

Thank you, Lyz. Glad you liked it. It was fun to write. Yours, Espen.

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