Memory

Only a memory
I'm a whisper of wind
I'm not meant for loving
I'm past that has sinned

I'm only your feelings
I'm not really your heart
I'm hopeless an outcast
I'm beginning your start

I'm here when sun-sets
I'm hope you will need
I'm the lasting forever
only dreams I seed

— mantiscepter, Aug 16, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Mantisscepter

I now have a new favourite of yours this one ... its profound ... normally for me the repetative [I'm] wouldn't work but in this case it works a treat ...I only have one suggestion ... the second last line I thought might be stronger if you had I'm the lasting forever ...taking out the your gives it strength in my opinion but its just an opinion and this is your baby, poignant and beautiful it is ... Love & hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

mantiscepter

16 years 9 months ago

Only.

thanx for the reply, sometimes I need to re-read what I've written. and think about what I've said, and how it should be. "really " . NOW AND AGAIN>>>> Mantiscepter P.S. Is this picture better ??? Just like to play. See Ya !!!

mantiscepter

16 years 9 months ago

ONLY.

thanx for your views, opinions, concerns,and pointers. always welcome and I'm sure needed. Mantiscepter

greeneyes

16 years 9 months ago

great

This poem is very good!Now some might think im not vwery smart because i dont ever make suggestions,but it is your poem,and you made it how you wanted it.Good job! Green Eyes

mantiscepter

16 years 9 months ago

Only.

Nice to hear your comments, as always. I like others to reflect and share their opinions . personally I don't believe I could ever understand the true feelings: or thoughts that brought some-one to the place when they let their heart or soul flow through a pen, bearing all.... Its incomprehensible.! Mantiscepter