Geezer

Aug 11, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Private Thought Made Public

Sitting in the parking-lot, Counting Crows
SUV guy pulls into next slot
Still connected by power-cord and text
He finishes getting the "Yes Dear Blues"

Happy as I can be, me and Mr. jones
Scan the tarred car rest-spot
For beautiful women we can fall in love
With for thirty seconds

SUV guy gets in flashing fish legs in shorts
Confident that he has completed his mission
He races for the home-front
Promised a medal of good conduct

Another one pulls into place
Different but the same
Smiling face forgotten
Just left, but I wouldn't know if someone stole his car

Ah, summer-sandals,
The way they hit the pavement
The rocking sway catches my eye
Homing missles of thought

The open hatch swallows everything
The supply line is better guarded these days
She turns down "Down on my knees"
But not unkind

Pizza! Delux toppings, side orders on the side
Half an hour wait, me and the dog in the Subaru
Dancer watching mommy through the window
Stomachs growling, ready to attack
Can't wait to get our teeth into saucy meat pies

Sated, I reach out for my comfort
Hypnotized by the spell of the ether
Floating with the electronic-ink
I commune with my counterparts
Waiting for succor and validation

— Geezer, Aug 11, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Emily Dickenson, Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many of the poets here at Neopoet.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Critiques

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Very different write for you

Very different write for you Gee but i like it immensely , I felt like I was watching you watching them , weird but good I liked this one its got a way of drawing you in making you want to know what happens next well done ... great write my friend :) much love and hugz Jayne x x P.S. my favourite lines are the last stanaza loved it !! "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Geezer

16 years 10 months ago

Different Write

Whoa! Can't believe I got so many responses in so short a time! Thank you, I have been keeping a pad in the car to write down things that might become poems. I have been working on this one for awhile. It is a confection and composite of a dozen or so trips to the store. [I usually wait in the car, I hate just walking around in the store.] Wendy does the shopping and I just tag along, not doing anything. So I wait in the car, reading a book or writing. Sometimes Dancer and I go for a walk around the bigger stores, like Wal-Mart. We have one that is a Super Wal-Mart, and there are woods out back that Dancer loves. So glad you liked the last stanza. I debated about it, but it seemed like the perfect ending of my composite day. L & Hugz, Gee.

Candlewitch

16 years 10 months ago

hi Gee

This poem aroused my curiosity and attention. I wish I could find poetry in every experience. These lines made me laugh: Pizza! Delux toppings, side orders on the side Half an hour wait, me and the dog in the Subaru Dancer watching mommy through the window Stomachs growling, ready to attack Can’t wait to get our teeth into saucy meat pies (must be the steroids the Dr. has me on, lol) Always, Cat

Geezer

16 years 10 months ago

Steroids!

I know all about those steroids! I get them occasionally when I have been in the hospital for my lung probs. Our food bill goes atronomical! I laugh at many things that Dancer does. She is quite comical at times. Glad laughs don't have any calories, you can have all you want. Always, back at ya, Gee

Race_9togo

16 years 10 months ago

This is real good man

The only part that gave me pause was "meat pies". LOL I had visions of English pork pies and Scottish minced lamb pies my uncle and I used to heat up on the car's manifold when we were out hunting! I really enjoy the flow of this, and the descriptions of the people are so spot on. I enjoy people watching too. The title? It works real good. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Geezer

16 years 10 months ago

Meat pies....

I made it 'saucy' meat pies, to convey the tomato sauce on the pizza, along with the "meat' we get our teeth into. Originally, it was to be meat and mushroom pies, but couldn't figure out the way to make it fit the flow. People watching is one of my favorite pastimes, and it is easier in the parking lot. [They don't seem to notice you as much,] being on the way in and thinking of what to get, or on the way out, thinking of getting home. I am a pretty good candid portrait photographer. I have many pictures of my children and family when they didn't know and just being themselves. Thanks so much for your comments, glad you liked it.

orgami

16 years 10 months ago

home run

I love this reminds me of Stienbeck in modern feel and Keroak or whatever his name is Havent read Bukowski yet Meat pies yes pizza with meat ham bacon sausage yummy and watching people so human to do how we communicate Love this poem the whole thing the way it speeds along its feel we go to the zoo and look at the poor animals and we go home and about our ways and they are there forever and yes here I am behind the glass so to speak waiting for my fish to be thrown so I may dive or breadcrumbs from divine fingers when I savour for the raw and bloody great read Mr Gee Great Read!!!!

Geezer

16 years 10 months ago

home run....

Just taking a page from your book, if you don't mind. My thought was to emulate your style in some small way. I will be a long time in coming close to you or the poets you mention, and am just stretching the mind and fingers a bit. I do appreciate the praise from you though, it makes me feel that I have succeeded in a way. Thank you much, your friend, Gee.

bjp

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Geezer,

This is by far the best poem that I have read from you. The revelation of the secrets that aren't really secrets are what made this poem attractive. It is the admission of humanity. And in the end, that is the offering of poems: a combination of wit and validation. It is nervy stuff, as your last line so eloquently puts it. But finally, we validate ourselves with courage, zest and wit. We impress self, the most important person we need to impress. (Olya doesn't want to be everyone's editor, but if you ask her... and you don't have to incorporate the edits, just witness them and cherry pick... but you didn't get this idea from me. She is one hell of an editor.) It is beneficial for poems to be read aloud by another so you can do rhythm checks. I do hope that you find this comment sufficient validation to continue your experiments. Five stars for going where you have never gone. Brian

Geezer

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Geezer,

I will check the rythm, and I have the utmost respect for your wife's skill in editing. I was a little leery of posting it at first, in light of the comment made by my friend. After considering, decided to go for it. I think highly of your work and skill at discerning the quality of a poem. I know that you do not give praise lightly. I do try to put humanity into my work, because you are right, this is what it is all about. Thank you, I enjoy your comments always. ~ Gee. P.S. How would I ask her without throwing you under the bus?

bjp

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Geezer,

I always forewarn her that I plan to use her name in vain and give her a chance to object. So, I am relatively safe. Brian

Geezer

16 years 10 months ago

If she has no objection...

If she has no objection, I would love to have her edit this for me. I respect both of you as editors, and take your comments seriously. Thank you much,Gee.

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

i think..

you put the thought process perfectly into words it was like I was experiencing it with you and it made me laugh at time I love it. -diatom shells

Geezer

16 years 10 months ago

I think

It truly was my intention to bring the reader into my thought process in this one. I am so glad that it worked. I wrote this over a period of about a month. My wife gave me a notepad after finding me writing on scraps of paper, while waiting for her in the car. I transcribed all my notes, and finally thought I had enough to bring this poem to fruition. Thank you for your comments. ~ Geezer

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

that..

is the sweetest and most thoughtful thing. you are a very lucky man in that regard.

Geezer

16 years 10 months ago

that....

Yep! We have been together over twenty-five years, and married for nine-teen this year on Sept.16th.~ Geezer

2 Quills

16 years 10 months ago

Nice, ~Gee...

Ahh…just another day in the life. I rather liked the casual feel of this one. I think your attempt to draw readers into your thought process worked pretty well. Sad to say that I have yet to read enough of your works to see the difference in styles comparatively, but am hopeful that I will be able to make the time to change that soon enough. I could really go for a nice, juicy, saucy, meat pie right now, myself. Corey