themoonman

Aug 11, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Bells Ringing

fresh coffee steams my glasses
and for one foggy moment
the crash of life is forgotten

outside
the birds peck for treats
while the drizzling rain promises
another spring

inside
I wait
for miracles of understandings
but my canvas is empty

the rain comforts barren thoughts
coffee soothes the taste of losing
and those birds peck my brain

where are the bells
maybe the rusted chimes will know
perhaps it isn't my turn
I'll wait

— themoonman, Aug 11, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Critiques

Kailashana

16 years 10 months ago

Your poems honour all that

Your poems honour all that is...have you ever witnessed a Tibetan singing bowl? Felt its vibration *through* you? Love, Anna "If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is wound up in mine, then let us work together." Aboriginal Activist Group, Queensland, 1970's

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

The bowls...

never witnessed first hand but have seen it on this wide net twirling the bowls connecting mind and matter health and spirit emptiness and form such a beautiful thing you are Anna, I have never been paid as much as your comment is worth, nor could I be. Richard

yenti

16 years 9 months ago

The Bowls

Richard, Have just given the one we had to my son in Cornwall, his name is Richard also. The bowls are usually made of Brass and come with a wooden piece, much like the Pestle for grinding things. You rub the wooden piece around the outside rim of the bowl whilst holding it id your left or right hand, this makes the bowl resonate at its own frequency. The sound that comes from these bowls is really soothing and pure. The effect of wetting a finger and rubbing it around the rim of a good wine glas is much the same. As you probably know everything has its own Resonant Frequency, yes even humons they resonate at around 4.6 Cycles and if this persists at this freqency they die a horrible death, better get off the yuk things, Love you all and all have a lovely day, Yours Ian.T

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

Ian...

you chose such a grand name for your son... lol, thanks for sharing your son with me... I'm gonna have to get me one of those bowls, I have a couple of video's of the playing of the "bowls"... I love it! It really is quite remarkable how soothing it is. thanks Richard

barbsdad2003

16 years 10 months ago

I like ...

... your choice of words, your brevity, your image-making, your mood crafted well ... I like: fresh coffee steams my glasses and for one foggy moment the crash of life is forgotten (Artful use of adjectives.) I like: outside the birds peck for treats while the drizzling rain promises another spring (The "outside" left to fend on its own line by itself stands stark, strong by the adroit isolation; smart emphasis, that ... and appropriate for this piece.) Thanx, Chuck

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

Chuck...

that means a lot to me sir... and plus, there wasn't anything that you wanted to fix... I am amazed and flattered my friend. of course, maybe on a second look you could find something, uh oh...lol Richard

Marie-I-Be

16 years 10 months ago

first look, second look

The crash of life is forgotten. I like that line especially, Richard. And I like the entire tone of this poem. When I take in my aromatic coffee and think about life whilst blurrily focusing through the steam arising, I usually flash a few clear insights even when the bells are ringing only softly. Next time your canvas won't remain empty, I predict. You write: inside, I wait for miracles of understandings but my canvas is empty Inside can mean both inside your house and inside your sense of self, and I take it both ways. Regardless, I suggest you remove that inconsistent comma and also reline. In my mind I see a few options for that, and here is one of them: inside I wait for miracles of understandings but my canvas is empty Another: inside I wait for miracles of understandings but my canvas is empty I'm sure you can see a third option for yourself if you don't like either of those two. My personal preference is the first one I've offered, as it's less choppy. Well, so there's my workshop contribution, Richard. I'll bet Chuck caught that comma intrusion first time around and was just trying to be extra-special cordial to you! Again, this is very nice writing, and I enjoyed reading it.

barbsdad2003

16 years 10 months ago

Uh-oh

Now that the door's been opened, Richard (by you), I've no choice but to cross into the foyer. (Sorry. Can't help myself.) Yes, as Marie says, I did notice the errant comma ... and the inconsistency/unequalness of outside/inside as to the ways of their respective linages. (And altho I did notice such, I thought I'd give you a friendly break (at no charge) from my usual (probably tiresome by now, I suspect) attempt(s) at fixin'.) Marie's got it right. Overall the piece is nice and tight, the mark of a good poet. Now ... if you (and the rest of us) were only more consistent in the quality (such as this one of yours possesses) of the writes, something'd be immeasurably gained, I think. Ah, well. One can only dream. While smiling in the act of it. Of course. Thanx again, Chuck

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

Hi Marie...

thank you for your workshop contribution, I loved it! And you were right about Chuck too... I elected to take the third option, because I did in fact think hard about the comma, not long though, when I posted the piece originally. I wanted the pause to come after both, inside, and I wait. It looks sorta funny no matter how I put it in there. I would be interested in your take now. thank you so much for looking and commenting. Chuck, I never tire of your comments sir, in fact I love it when you improve something I've written... you have had more of an effect than you may know my friend and I thank you for it. thanks Richard

Marie-I-Be

16 years 10 months ago

options

Richard, I think option three is beautiful. Looks great and feels right. And you as author know best your intent; I'm glad you found the sharpest way to reflect it.

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Richard , this is poetry I

Richard , this is poetry I only dream to write , poignant and profound at the same time ... can't express it ... I simply dont have the words your poem matched my mood, thats the best I can do ... much love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

Jayne...

I don't know what to say to that, I'm glad it touched you! thank you so much! Richard

Candlewitch

16 years 10 months ago

Richard

I am breathless with this write. I have an old ornate brass bell that sings when you run a wooden rod around the rim. I use it for meditational purposes and it really helps uncloud my mind and focus. Your poem reminded me of this. Always, Cat

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

Cat...

meditation bells! Thank you for that association because that is where I was in the write! thank you Cat Richard

theladyblue

16 years 10 months ago

ahhh, my moonman...

this sits with me in a way that i miss my own words fail to shape as of late but this inspires the fire my friend hope you are well... <3 Emarie __________________________________________________________________________________ "i read you and see…that between the pen, paper and you…there is little room for me…" ~ heart breaker~ Go Live & Get Rewarded!!! Check us out at http://www.neopoet.com/forum/20761 & the Community Calendar!!!

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

Emarie...

inspires fire... wow! we all go through times when the writing comes hard, just the other day I was looking through a notebook and wondered what the hell am I doing, so I went outside and worked all day doing things I should be doing besides writing, and later, I wanted to open that notebook again because, it is part of me. thank you for coming by, I am doing ok, hope you and yours are too. I'll be looking for your next piece! Richard

orgami

16 years 10 months ago

yes the coffee the pause of waiting for morning to rev up

birds already having breakfest I think of my old typewriter and Blue Airmail days typing and not yet hitting the end of the run Not yet making the little chromed bell ring that satisfying little chime instead throwing the arm of the return and starting over one small hammer at a time

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

Steven...

I remember too, but didn't type in those days at all. I still write most everything in notebooks first. My wife insisted I take home typing lessons when we got our first computer, now, sometimes she wishes she hadn't...lol I do spend a lot of time on the computer. thanks for hearing the bells Richard

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

Certainly we don't have to wait long these days to see you here

Dearest Richard, I wonder what you are waiting for?... Certainly we don't have to wait long these days to see you here in Spotlight!!! Well done, a lovely write, I do like your matter of fact kind of dialogue, it reminds us all we feel so much of the same emotions... just some brave ones let it out in public (moon inspired perhaps?) I wonder if you know how we bleed for you, how you draw our compassion & care with these potent writes... You make me wish I was a proper painter "inside, I wait for miracles of understandings but my canvas is empty" You make me want to take up the brush & deftly fill that space with colour & fulfilment... actually no, I'd never want to fill it.... in truth you do that yourself in such a wonderful way, but I would love to add a stroke or 2 of warmth for you... after this write... Though in reality I suspect you have plenty who do that. Cheers Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

Anni...

I gladly accept your brush of colors, it could only add to my rainbows... thank you! I have a family that love me, my wife still likes me, even after all this time... I find that amazing because I am one hard hombre to deal with... but she smiles when she sees me... rainbows for me! thanks Richard

Kailashana

16 years 9 months ago

That was the sweetest thing

That was the sweetest thing to say Moonman, no wonder your wife smiles when she sees you. It's what you give. Too many men and women are always worried about what they are getting.. Speaking of which, when is it my turn? lol. Love, Anna "If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is wound up in mine, then let us work together." Aboriginal Activist Group, Queensland, 1970's

believe

16 years 10 months ago

brings home the facts of life

this "i feel" brings to reality the vague thread of life we all hang on too and the observations and needs surrounding the journey ,the bells ring in the end well done a great write

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

Believe...

thank you for your beautiful interpretation... loved it! and welcome to the site! Richard

weirdelf

16 years 10 months ago

fefe elidom

Cheers, Jess "The political arena leaves one no alternative, one must either be a dunce or a rogue." rogur Goldman

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

thanks Jess...

glad you dropped in man thanks Richard

Rob Graber

16 years 10 months ago

Cool

I like this, especially stanza three!

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

Hi Rob...

glad you liked it! thanks Richard

Candlewitch

16 years 10 months ago

Richard

I am so glad to see this poem on "Spotlight!" Always, Cat

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

Cat...

I'll have to take your word for it, missed it... oh well huh! thanks Richard

bjp

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Richard,

Do you look back upon writings, wondering, who was I to write that? The de ja vu that is always there. And, will I be able to return to that place of the parading word, falling, with its trombone, off my eyeball or out a tear-duct without remembered effort. We await that sacred thing to return to the place of us. Olya has been writing up a storm and is now afraid if she stops, she will lose the groove. But we must stop to breath and survey the evidence of ourselves for comfort. This is a poem that inspires my words. Brian

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

Brian...

I do indeed look back and wonder sometimes where did that come from, can I reach that place again. I totally understand Olya's reasons for continuing in the flow, the groove thing, but we must stop at times. A person has to eat! lol... To think that something I've written could inspire dizzy's my heart! swooning Richard

Janice Pearce

16 years 10 months ago

Bells Ringing

Richard, A few moments captured in time, so well described. Rich with feelings,smells,sounds,sights,and taste~ _____________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

Janice...

I am always touched when you have graced my pages!

Nordic cloud

16 years 10 months ago

Oh "Hells bells" Moonman:-

You mean the kinder type I do presume? Where coffee beans ring the morning in, and fog clears off the glass to reveal true love at last! Raining tears of sadness, the spring leaps up with gladness and you just smile, a wry quiet smile, watching years go by, waiting for the cry of wolf, again to echo through the mind and wake desires you've mined before but want them back again. Your empty canvas yet so blank, your paintbrush waiting loaded, the moment comes and bells they chime, the day has come for everyone, the sun is shining. Yes the sun is shining and will bring to you your hearts great wish, just walk into the garden, there waiting are the things you love, they are rewarding you with feelings good and true. Good luck to you dear Richard. Love Ann of Norway Thank you for enjoying my morning apparitions today Richard.

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

Ann...

loved your response, heart warming like your lovely smile! and you are quite welcome, I loved your vision! Richard

Bonitaj

16 years 10 months ago

Aah Richard!

inside I wait for miracles of understandings but my canvas is empty I was just there yesterday! how well you have captured the 'barrenness of everyman' poets et al! Thank you for a great write Bonita j

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

Boni...

Have I told you how much I like you! So glad you are here with us! Richard

barbsdad2003

16 years 10 months ago

A (frankly) brilliant ...

... update. My congratulations, Chuck

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

Chuck....

brilliant update, I am humbled again by your generosity.

Kailashana

16 years 9 months ago

…and so now I

...and so now I wait...turning the page. Love. ~A "If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is wound up in mine, then let us work together." Aboriginal Activist Group, Queensland, 1970's

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

as I do...

and turn the pages to see your shine makes for a bright moment themoonman

yenti

16 years 9 months ago

Young Moonman

Without a doubt your pieces are always on the top line of writing and your way of giving to others is always welcome and above reproach. It is as always that the writters who give so much always attain the higher points and help the new writters pass them by into the spotlight, but always remember young Moonman that your light in poetry will shine always, Themoonman Teacher of all who cross his path High thinker who can be questioned Emmiter of excellent prose Mentor to all who seek better writing Overseer of Neopoets voice Oblivious of wanting to be in the light Never ending prose writter of great value Maker of new poets without a struggle Always there to help and advise Now will need a bigger hat LOL Your Friend and fellow travellor,with great respect, Ian.T

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

Ian...

wow, I wasn't expecting that at all... thank you for traveling with me side by side we are flying tipping my hat to you sir Richard p.s. how could I have missed that it was an acrostic... thank you so much Ian... you are one of the people that make life a warm splash.

Electric Blue

16 years 9 months ago

Bells

Richard I just like you enjoy these special moments breath it all in. Seldom moments like these come so just take a deep breath and breathe in let your senses enhance all around the aroma of your coffee the steam fogging up your glasses to cloud your vision of the day But only a few of us can close our eyes when they are wide open and our senses take over and for an instant we are transported we are so alive more alive then we have ever been or will be so my friend just breath in Awesome moment my friend always Maggie

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

Hi Maggie...

glad I could share it with you

bungalogic

16 years 9 months ago

writing with no ink...

moonman, I read this and it reminded me of the many times on the train I would stare at my notepad thinking of something profound to write. but instead all I got was a blank canvas and the sound of the roaring tracks beneath my feet. thanks bungalogic creator of runopians

Kailashana

16 years 9 months ago

geeze, it’s all in the way

geeze, it's all in the way you think about it, Bangalogic... on the train to somewhere I am staring at my blank notepad searching for the ink of words to write, the sound of roaring tracks beneath my feet Love, Anna "If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is wound up in mine, then let us work together." Aboriginal Activist Group, Queensland, 1970's

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

Bungalogic...

thank you for your comment, the write does seem a hard grasp at times... but then, sometimes it just jumps to the page. I have only ridden a train a few times, it is quite a soothing feel, the steady rumble of train to track can lull one into a sleep of giants. Anna, I love you... and my wife knows about it... she isn't very happy about it, but she is glad you are in Cleveland, and she sends her love as well. Richard

mantiscepter

16 years 9 months ago

WOW !!

A very warm and inviting poem, beautiful flow; with with lines that were just Masterful; I most enjoyed the question, answer; aspect of it. great use of words. Mantiscepter

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

Mantiscepter...

what a great comment... masterful, a lovely word, not one I use for myself unless I'm talking about my stumbling nature. but I sure appreciate it. Richard

seabhac

16 years 9 months ago

Ah yes Poetry for me is all

Ah yes Poetry for me is all about being able to identify something within on a personal level...as I head to my studio this morning , I will procrastanate with a coffee and await the moment of inspiration to curl from my brain to my creative hands in its steam... I liked the simplicity and clarity of the moment here. Liz

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

Liz...

thank you for being able to identify with this little ol write of mine... and I do hope the steam curls thoughts and grand visions for you to share with us. thank you! Richard

Geezer

16 years 9 months ago

I too wait for bells...

Waiting for the bells to ring, should be one of your favorite things, because when they do, it is usually a full carillion. You touch us all so often. Great write! Gee.

mantiscepter

16 years 9 months ago

Bells

Wonderful poem,very nice to read and reflect on. good job Moonman. Mantiscepter

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Moonman

Finally, got to the bottom. I enjoyed reading this and I think u are a winner, and you have some amazing tales to tell and I enjoy the lot, even this feeling down a little, poem. Love it. Love Lyz XX

Arrow

16 years 9 months ago

Late to the party, I see . . .

Boy, this speaker's got the resignation blues. These are my favorite lines: while the drizzling rain promises another spring I don't know if you meant them to be optimistic but something about the way that last line's written makes it feel bored, bored, bored. Yet another spring - ho hum. Enjoyable description of an unspoken sigh. There is something about that coffee, isn't there? I look forward to it and then, well . . .