LOVE

This poem speaks to my heart... your sentiments are expressed beautifully. I very much enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing... Raven

Hi Ray, a nice write on such an over written subject you were able to maintain attention well, bit of a Shakespearian feel in there? I liked that... If you're happy for feedback read on I have some practical suggestions, mostly re typo's & use of commas, but also I'm wondering how you feel about line placement... Here are my thoughts (humbly I assure you so don't be offended, feel free to ignore I hate fiddling if folk are happy with what they have done. Love, sweet scented rock of life. Untouched by death, or dawns delight. Not of this world, a flower that grows. Dimensions angels blessed, adorned Battles lost, and battles won. Beneath its blooded flag - Sercombe (did you mean succumb?). Save only few can justly say Love, good or bad, they wont betray. Residing from the darkness, lit Desire forbid, or - jealous spit. What ranks of man, forsake the crown. For chivalrous act’s the noble found. But where does love reside today? The maker from the start belay. What power can make a man remain Betray his soul, for heart gratin (not sure what this word is?.. I might have used Bteray his soul for hearts retain? or where hearts contain? or for heart true gain?... as you wish anyway) Humanity may judge us well. Though world may end in blooded dell. Of all our deeds that must be cost Will love remain, possession lost. It's lovely & this might make it easier to assimilate... hope that's ok... I'm not the grammar queen (see Nina Inkdragon or FaeryBeki for that), but you seem to put commas where I would put full stops... Often I just leave the punctuation out unless it seem critical, it can look cumbersome & out of place in poetry, & you can use the spacing & capitals to indicate a new idea/sentence etc... eg... Love sweet scented rock of life (incongruous analogy, but I really like it) Untouched by death or dawns delight Not of this world a flower that grows Dimensions angels blessed, adorned Battles lost and battles won Beneath its blooded flag - Sercombe (did you mean succumb?) (nice flow in these lines) Save only few can justly say Love, good or bad they wont betray Residing from the darkness lit Desire forbid or - jealous spit (great imagery) What ranks of man forsake the crown For chivalrous act’s the noble found But where does love reside today? The maker from the start belay What power can make a man remain Betray his soul, for heart gratin (not sure what this word is?.. I might have used Bteray his soul for hearts retain? or where hearts contain? or for hearts true gain?... as you wish anyway) Humanity may judge us well Though world may end in blooded dell Of all our deeds that must be cost Will love remain possession lost. But I would enquire of Nina for a more certain perspective on such things (Arrow is amazing too, though rarely about these days. Anyway, well done hope that's ok Cheers Anni~ "A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket". ~Charles Peguy

This is a brilliant write and the subject matter is timeless as everyone has a different take on LOVE. And there are so many aspects of love. I really enjoyed reading this poem. Always, Cat