Seren

Aug 08, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Grieving Past Veils ... (edit)

A lone man come to ponder
in the grieving of a night
why joy had disappeared
with a lady wearing white

Happiness his memory
hoping is pipe-dreams
remembrance a legacy
warming salty streams

Laughter left the lines
that scrawl across his face
now a life has vanished
a pall lies in its place

Eyes of sightless glass
gazing through a time
hands begin to fumble
tapping with no rhyme

Shaking with a moan
pain streaks into sight
what he would have waged
to see his beloved wife

Leaving him to pine
she left this earthly vale
traveling on ahead
now hes alone and frail

Two Hearts blaze as one
as veils of sadness part
and joy does live again
within his lonely heart

— Seren, Aug 08, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

raskin

16 years 10 months ago

Touching

I like the rhyme and rhythm of this poem. Reminds me of my Dad when he lost my Mom, he was lost without her. Lovely. raskin

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

My father-in-law was devastated when my mother-in-law passed on , and its in his memory that I wrote this they were wonderful in-laws and I wanted to honour their love, they are together now ... Love Jayne x x P.S Btw I should add the lady wearing white in this poem isnt just a lady wearing white ... my mother-in-law Olive was a fantastic lawn bowls player and she always seemed to be in those whites as they call them ... :) "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Geezer

16 years 10 months ago

Grieving Past Veils

Happiness is memory, hoping is pipe-dreams, Rememberance a legacy, warming salty streams. I love those lines! You paint picture of grief like so many of us have seen, not everyone can express it the way you did. I'm sure that there are many who will read this and find themselves lost in the same kind of memory. L & Hugz, Gee

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Thank you Gee

Hard write this one and I am glad you liked those lines they are some of my favourites in this poem ... big smile and hugz Love Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

2 Quills

16 years 10 months ago

Seren...

I found solace within this rhyme of yours. I like how it ends with joy finding its way again. This is a beautiful tribute to what I am sure were two wonderful people. I am remain leery when attempting to critique the words of another, but I simply wonder about the very first line if maybe it should have read with “came to ponder” instead of “come to ponder”. Either way it was a sobering yet satisfying read. Corey

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Corey

Thanks for the read , And i had debated on [came and come] and I will think on that when i give it another edit ... Again thanks for the read and the comment its always nice to know when people feel something from what I write ... Love and hugs Jayne x x We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall ...

greeneyes

16 years 10 months ago

wow

beautiful is all i can say

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Green Eyes

thank you :) lol is all I can say ? ... just joking but I am glad you liked it hun love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

Seren,

Why did you take away my elfin smile? A tear now takes it's place. Sad,and a realization of those loved and lost. Beautiful sentiment in your words written. Well done, emotion maker. Lyz.x

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Lyz

lmao !!!! I cracked up at the elfin smile you rock girl !! Its been a miserable week but your comment gave me a big ass smile .. love and hugz Jayne x x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...