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Candlewitch

Aug 07, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Blood On The Snow (edited)

Remember
The lingering sorrow.
Gun blue eyes
Locked
On a moment
When time dared not breathe,
There
Just blossoming,
Love lies bleeding.
Ever steady
Softly cocked,
I am felled.

*Love Lies Bleeding is a flower also know as: Amaranths

— Candlewitch, Aug 07, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more., Candlewitch

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Critiques

16 years 10 months ago

Powerful stuff this Cat!

Liked the pacing, the layout, the descriptive imagery viz. "Gun blue eyes locked". Only thing I'm having a bit of difficulty with is the closing line. Please just contextualize it for me... swooning into love yes! ok! Got it - LOVE LIES BLEEDING! - lol. Boni

16 years 10 months ago

LOL

You nut, lol. yup... it's a love poem (from me, of all people, lol!) Thanks. Always, Cat

Ravenshakti

16 years 10 months ago

Cat...

This is breath-taking and breath-giving... Your words have an exquisite flow, and such a smooth grace... 'Just want you to know, I love it, very much... Raven

16 years 10 months ago

Thank you Raven

for gracing my poem with your attention. You give me high praise. I also think very highly of your artful poems. Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

Lovely indeed, cat… in

Lovely indeed, cat... in your next book, eh? ~A "If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is wound up in mine, then let us work together." Aboriginal Activist Group, Queensland, 1970's

16 years 10 months ago

hi Anna

I wish this were to be in my next book. But sadly, it is easier to sell the dark stuff... so my next book is a sequel: The Book Of Styx II. It is very hard to sell love poems these days :( Thanks for the good wishes and vibes. Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

LOL

Don't mention it. Always, Cat

ID

16 years 10 months ago

Cat,

this is good, loved the imagery in this one. Please do consider un-hyphenating "love lies bleeding". Personally, I would capitalize "love". Also, a tad overpunctuated for such a short piece in my opinion. You might consider throwing out the ellipses and the exclamation mark. Yours, ~Nina

16 years 10 months ago

Hi Nina

This is a new one for me, I usually under punctuate or skip the punctuation all together, LOL! Thank you for the suggestions, which I utilized most gratefully. Always, Cat

B

bjp

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Caitlin,

This is a poem long in conflict despite its few words. The conflict is all imported by the Capitalization and Bold Font. It is as if there is an unseen power pushing forward, ignoring the words, which by themselves connote a pause of intent consideration and then a swoon. Normally, I suggest removing such emphatic devices. But here, it is part of your code, and I think instrumental. As a whole, it denotes a rapture and a consummation in the works, subtle but profound. Brian

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Brian

There is a duality to the line: Love lies bleeding, and I think you correctly picked up on it. You are right, it is not a casual love poem. More of a protest against this unwanted state of mind. Thanks for your comments, I am always glad and interested to read them. Always, Caitlin

ID

16 years 10 months ago

Ah, Cat,

I do like that better! Reads smoother now. Yours, ~Nina

ID

16 years 10 months ago

Whoa! And it went straight into spotlight!

Congrats, Cat! Yours, ~Nina

16 years 10 months ago

Spotlight???

It did? When? I must have blinked, lol. Oh well, they say fame is fleeting. Thanks Nina, if it weren't for you I wouldn't have known ;) Always, Cat

DS

16 years 10 months ago

wow cat

I love this one! What I see is a colder love poem not that it is emotionless but it sounds cool like a gun barrel I love your references to the gun and things as such. Almost immediately I thought of the movie cold mountain. Thank you for the read -diatom shells

16 years 10 months ago

Hello

I don't think I welcomed you properly yet, so... welcome to neopoet it is so nice to have you here! Thanks for your comments. You are right it is a colder love poem, sort of a weak protest against the inevitable. I loved the movie Cold Mountain. Always, Cat

DS

16 years 10 months ago

thank you

thank you for the welcome everyone is so polite but don't be hesitant to give me a good spankin every now and again I can get out of control sometimes lol -diatom shells

16 years 10 months ago

Cat,

This is so. so, great! But this is dark, as I read I went from a dark place into the light of the blinding white snow. Dark love, is an easy sell today! I love, love that comes from the dark to renew its self in the light. This write is very easy on the eyes and mind. I'm giving you stars, because I can't take it anymore to many poems that I have read that deserve it as far as I;m concern.

16 years 10 months ago

Hi Eddie

Thanks for the five stars, coming from you they are quite a compliment. Thanks for reading and commenting. Dark love... yes it does well these days. Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

Dearest Cat

I envisage red lines in the snow bleeding from a felled heart in Love ... how beautiful this is and I hope Steve got to read it my friend for its fresh and I loved it ... Sorry to arrive at your Spotlight party late I slept in after my marathon last night .. sooooooooooooooo Congratulations my darlin friend !!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooOOOoOoOOoOoOoOo ... I am a little chuffed your here LMAO Much love and Hugz *big Smiles* Jayne x x x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

16 years 10 months ago

LOL

Dearest Jayne, I'm glad you liked it. Yes, Steve read it, but he didn't say anything. I think it confused him. You be good and take care of yourself, okay? love, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

I sat for moments

locked a rabbit in headlights, in the gaze of a cobra in a lovers eyes remarkable write, Cat Cheers, Jess "The political arena leaves one no alternative, one must either be a dunce or a rogue." Emma Goldman

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Jess-elf

That is quite a story in itself. It would make a great poem. Thanks for your comment and the five stars. Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

Cat...

I have nothing to add other than I read and too was moved by this short powerful write... great poem! Richard

16 years 10 months ago

Thanks Richard

It is good to see you and read your comments. Glad you liked it. Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

Blood On The Snow

Cat, This is awesome, it left me speechless, except to say this is one of "my" favorites you have posted~ _____________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

16 years 10 months ago

Hi Janice

Wow, that is quite the high compliment! Thanks so much. Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

not sure what to say

so wonderful im not sure what words to use to express that so im going to leave it like that.

16 years 10 months ago

green eyes

Thank you :) Always, Cat

D

darkangel

16 years 10 months ago

I love this poem….it is

I love this poem….it is very profound! I can’t wait to read your other work!!

16 years 10 months ago

hello darkangel

I'm so glad that my little poem pleased you. Please do come again. Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

Lovely delicate write, like spring soft beginnings.

Lovely delicate write, like spring soft beginnings, even though it is sad & loss filled. Cheers Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

16 years 10 months ago

Thank you Anni

It is great to have you visit my page! Lovely to see you again, my friend. Thank you for the comment and the stars! Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

great short poem!!

this is a great short poem ,with great depth and sadness, Great write Candlewitch Ray

16 years 10 months ago

Ray

Thank you my newest friend, for the stars and the comment! Always, Cat

O

orgami

16 years 9 months ago

finally came for a read

I find it a marvelous short poem very well written Cat It sounds startling as new love or newfound "old" love sometimes is but I feel excitement in it !!

16 years 9 months ago

hello Steven

Thank you so much for reading. Always, Cat

16 years 3 months ago

“Gun blue eyes locked”

"Gun blue eyes locked" that for me is a powerful moment in the poem - I almost took a breath myself. I always, always love your poems, such feeling, emotion, imagery, wonderful work.