Mystical (a work in progress)

They say there is a place

where the faeries fly backwards

waterfalls travel upwards

and the sun never sets

It is here where I travel

and pick out each morsel of the fanciful

like chopsticks to a grain of rice

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These few lines came to me earlier this day, and then hit a snag. I'd love any and all suggestions on how to finish this piece.
I'd like it to stay along the main topic of fantasy - almost to the point of it being ridiculous, but not quite crossing that line.

— infinite_dwarf, Aug 06, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: E.A. Poe, Lewis Carroll, Charles Bukowski, Michael McClure, Lawrence Ferlenghetti.

Critiques

press

16 years 10 months ago

They say there is a

They say there is a place where the faeries fly backwards waterfalls travel upwards and the sun never sets It is here where I travel and pick out each morsel of the fanciful like chopsticks to a grain of rice Limits to limit, are impossible Here for a logical mind Waterfalls , that defy The safety of logic , to travel upwards The laws of gravity are Mystical in this magic time Even a grain of rice Is given a fanciful life He talks to the faeries when Backward they fly Mystical Magical Transcendent or ultimate reality Are the laws of this place To defy logic with a flight of grace To be the waterfall traveling upwards The limits of limit are just words we say Freedom of the mind , is more than logical More than sane Jess you are a great poet I could not pass up the chance to write with you I hope you like it LOV2U PRESS

infinite_dwarf

16 years 10 months ago

Press

Forgive me for not being able to comment sooner. Yes, I really do like what you've done with the piece, as well as suggestions that Yenti had made. I asked him to forward his thoughts on to you, and all three of us can work on it. Thanks for stopping by! ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, then piss on it and walk away!" - unknown

greeneyes

16 years 10 months ago

beautiful

I loved this poem,just beautiful.

Electric Blue

16 years 10 months ago

Mystical

Jess Just love this whimsical ditty great illusions created and ponder what if we did find this mystical place which i am sure does exist somewhere Electric Blue

Nordic cloud

16 years 9 months ago

I sommer-sault into the pudding

I sommer-sault into the pudding where the bees make a hive and flying backwards put the honey back into my heart it is here too that I find again my love one I have never lost as time travels backwards it is something I have often puzzled about whether time goes forwards or life goes backwards which way up are we which way are we going I've been here before I know you in this faeryland of the topsy-turvy ..... Just having fun Ann of Norway

yenti

16 years 9 months ago

A Work in Progress

This was my contribution to our Distant Little Persons work and had sent it a few weeks ago as a message. They say there is a place where the fairies fly backwards waterfalls travel upwards and the sun never sets It is here where I travel and pick out each morsel of the fanciful like chopsticks to a grain of rice Dreams to never end Places held in muddled ways A childlike fantacy played I wish to dream on Do not disturb is on my door Let me sleep forever more As you are going away little one for a while I wish you all the love and kindness of the world to journey with you, Yours Ian.T