Illusion

What if I am, what if I'm not
just a figment of your imagination?
Maybe you are, maybe you aren't
just a thought's mutilation

I appear as a mist
and fade like a dream
look closer, friend
for I'm not what I seem

I've mastered shape-shifting
and time I can bend
Turn, look about you
There! Gone again

As your head swims
and your mind is a blur
you begin to doubt
whether you, too, ever were

— infinite_dwarf, Aug 05, 2009

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: E.A. Poe, Lewis Carroll, Charles Bukowski, Michael McClure, Lawrence Ferlenghetti.

Critiques

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

I think the title suits the

I think the title suits the poem quite nicely. Very clever, Jess, good work. Always, Cat

Kenneth Sharp

16 years 11 months ago

Excellent work. I like the

Excellent work. I like the pacing, and the arrangement of the words. Definitely seems like it drinks heavily from existentialist waters...

Quillsvein1

16 years 11 months ago

A disquieting

(and rewarding) exercise in solipsism. How indeed do we or do we not know that phenomenal reality is as has much as reality as we attribute to it? Creepily well done! GB

bjp

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Jessica,

There are elements of this poem which I really like, especially the first stanza: What if I am, what if I’m not just a figment of your imagination? Maybe you are, maybe you aren’t just a thought’s mutilation We all have multiple options of who we want to be roaming about our head. We select different selves, or emphasis, for the different milieus of our existence. And of course, what we often aspire to be something different again. Experience will determine what we think we have become. I think much is captured in this first stanza. The remainder of the poem is consistent with this stanza. Yet for some reason, I did not feel full from the poem remaining as is wisp. I wanted the options, the details, the alternatives, and the conflicts. Something in that vein. Brian

infinite_dwarf

16 years 11 months ago

thanks, all

Cat- good, I'm glad the title was effective. Gents - thank you all for your kind words, and yes, John, I was trying for a bit of eerieness. I see what you mean, Brian, about the piece needing a little more meat. I'll admit that I'm in the middle of a triple co-write at the moment, so it may take me a little while to come back and finish this properly - but I'll definitely try to make a reappearance at some point. Thanks again, everyone! =) ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, then piss on it and walk away!" - unknown

Electric Blue

16 years 11 months ago

Illusion

Jess I too could of written this as we are all full of if's and what's I know this space only too well my friend always Electric blue

Hooded Stranger

16 years 10 months ago

Jess

This is a great piece of writing...I can't help myself but look at this from a song structure point of view. The opening four lines which are slightly longer than the others, would actually work really well as a chorus and the three other sections would be ideal verses. In short...I love this, and can read this while tapping to a slow beat. Ever thought of writing song lyrics? regards, HS "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".

Kailashana

16 years 10 months ago

Jess I am underprivileged,

Jess I am underprivileged, bereft, having missed this poem until now. Your poem works on all 11 dimensions of (un)reality. Good for you!!! Love, ur other mom p.s. What if we're all just figments of someone else's imagination? lol.

infinite_dwarf

16 years 10 months ago

Thanks again, all!

Maggie - I forget exactly what prompted this poem, but I know I was still in the mood of time-bending and other logic-defying things. I was hoping to convey a sense of confusion, and it seems that it's worked. HS - Good idea! I write poetry, and I write music, but have never had much success in fusing the two together. Do you play an instrument? Anna - Better late than preg..... errr.... nevermind. LOL! I hope the person whose imagination I'm a figment of lives a long time so I do too! Thank you all for dropping in and visiting. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, then piss on it and walk away!" - unknown

Hooded Stranger

16 years 10 months ago

Jess

I don't play an instrument, I am the lyricist and vocalist...nice and easy. I am fortunate to have found a music partner who creates the music I like and which suits my style of writing. You should keep trying to fuse the words with music. regards, HS ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in