Rett

Aug 04, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

College Degree

I went off to college
To get me a degree
Wanted fame and fortune
To make something of me

I wanted to be a doctor
So to broaden my scope
I analized proctology
Found there was no hope

Tried Gynecology
But my wife said no way
Don't come home to me
After looking at women all day

I thought of psychology
To shrink someone's head
But found I couldn't listen
To the things they said

I tried something different
Decided on a nurse
But all of my patients
Just seemed to get worse

I found my calling
Success I could show
Everyone's admiring
The yards that I mow

— Rett, Aug 04, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern Texas, USA

Favorite Poets: Dickenson, Longfellow

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Critiques

greeneyes

16 years 10 months ago

very very funny

wow i really like this very clever and very funny it flowed well too

Rett

16 years 10 months ago

Green Eyes, Thank you

I like to play with things once in a while. Glad you got a laugh out of it. Respectfully, Rett: "Let us then turn this government back into the channel in which the framers of the Constitution originally placed it. " Abraham Lincoln

press

16 years 10 months ago

DAD

Every grass he cutS with pride . But his hat is the crown of poetry in his life. To live he has said and those degrees he has tried. He loves his second chance with his wife , in her is his pride . His balance , is question , time after time . How many hat's can he ware, for his peace is his right . How many of us would miss , his balance, miss his love. If a day would come . To many hats, to ware as a crown OK dad this was fun LOV2U PRESS I hope U like it

Rett

16 years 10 months ago

You got it Son

No matter what you do, then do the best you can at it. Some things just aren't what you have the expertise at, but keep searching until you find it. Glad you had fun reading it. I had fun writing. Respectfully, Rett: "Let us then turn this government back into the channel in which the framers of the Constitution originally placed it. " Abraham Lincoln

weirdelf

16 years 10 months ago

At first I nearly blew my top reading this

(who? me?) but in deference to the author gave it a pause and yes, there is more to it than just a giggle. It's cool, not anti-intellectual belligerence but appreciation of quality. I bet you've read "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance". I get the same buzz from housepainting. There is a fine poem by D.H. Lawrence, I think called "The Man", on the subject that I tried to track down but couldn't find, better go back to university 8) Cheers, Jess "The political arena leaves one no alternative, one must either be a dunce or a rogue." Emma Goldman

Rett

16 years 10 months ago

Dead right Jess

People don't have the calling to do just anything. The trick is to find what you can do and do it to the best of your ability and take pride in it. Yes, I have read "Zen, and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance." I get a buzz out of a lot of things. Gardening, mowing my yard, painting the house, all sorts of things. Respectfully, Rett: "Let us then turn this government back into the channel in which the framers of the Constitution originally placed it. " Abraham Lincoln

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Rett,

love your poke at intellectual snobism and finding one's true calling. Makes me think of my brother who is lawing mowns now (long story, maybe will tell it one day). I think one can find a moral in this piece: Whatever you do, don't do it half-heartedly. Yours, ~Nina

Rett

16 years 10 months ago

Thanks Nina

Looks like everyone got the whole thing. Just going through the motions is not enough, you have to do the best you can. Not everyone is cut out to be a scholar, a doctor, a lawyer, but take pride in what you do. Respectfully, Rett: "Let us then turn this government back into the channel in which the framers of the Constitution originally placed it. " Abraham Lincoln

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Hey, Rett,

considering my hilarious typo above: I've half a mind to write a poem titled "lawing mowns". Are you up to a challenge? We could both do one, just for the heck of it, and see what we come up with. The comedians of our German version of Saturday Night Live used to do this often, they had a myriad of sketches that took place at "Kentucky shried ficken", which is rather naughty in German (it translates "Kentucky screams fuck"). My "lawing mowns" could have come from that place, but sadly, it was done out of nothing but stupidity and tiredness... I wasn't trying to be clever, or maybe I was, but failed spectacularly. Laughing at myself, ~Nina

Rett

16 years 10 months ago

Nhy wot

Fould be shun! PM or email? Respectfully, Rett: "Let us then turn this government back into the channel in which the framers of the Constitution originally placed it. " Abraham Lincoln

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Chour yoice, Rett!

Fooking lorward to yeeing vour sersion, ~Nina

weirdelf

16 years 10 months ago

Aw Nina,

you spoiled it, I thought "lawing moans" was on purpose and hilarious. I eagerly await a poem about trivial litigation, Cheers, Jess "The political arena leaves one no alternative, one must either be a dunce or a rogue." Emma Goldman

infinite_dwarf

16 years 10 months ago

Rett

I liked your play on words for the proctologist and psychologist. Quite a fun write, and hey... someone's gotta take care of the grass - it doesn't mow itself. Of course if you had sheep, you wouldn't have to worry about that either. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, then piss on it and walk away!" - unknown

Rett

16 years 10 months ago

Glad you liked it Jess

I had fun with it while trying to put a message there also. Respectfully, Rett: "Let us then turn this government back into the channel in which the framers of the Constitution originally placed it. " Abraham Lincoln

Nordic cloud

16 years 10 months ago

Rett this is good fun,

Rett this is good fun, almost a long limerick, amusing as they are too, how the 'you' found his station in life, as long as he's happy doing it that's fine. I don't know yet what I want to be when I 'grow up'!!! Yours Ann of Norway

Eduardo Cruz

16 years 10 months ago

Rett

I tried to go for a degree but got sidetracked, making good money doing contracts This was funny as hell you old "Savannah Bleach" you always come up with entertaining writes that should be songs. Thanks, Eddie