if I'd known: a metaphor

I adored taking this soft walk with you .... little confused about were we where going to end up but then we continued to walk LOL I loved this one ... lulled me some what much love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

No problem here, just turn around and retrace your footsteps... or you could continue walking into the unknown and possibly discover something wonderful... Always, Cat

Hi, Chuck. Very pleasant feeling throughout. On one read-through, I spotted three areas calling for fixing. See how you like these suggestions: In the case up top where you have ... my friend and I walk eastward along the sidewalk on the north side of ... I suggest you remove the word "side." Sets up for a nice flow into the words you have just following those. Where you have ... I ask, do you, by any chance know where it is ... please remove that second comma. In the case near the end where you have ... my friend and I yet walk eastward on the sidewalk at the north side of ... I suggest removing "yet" and "side" and relining this way: my friend and I walk eastward on the sidewalk at the north of Enjoyed the read. I'll come back again to see how it looks.

Friends don't need to know where they are going, just going is a lovely pass time. This is fun too as we too go along with it and hesitate with you and wait for the answers and this gives the poem a strange haunting presence. Yours ann of Norway

like walkiing with no specifics it makes it more fun that way. I've always loved a mystery love always -diatom shells

To be honest I just reread this I am going to tell you my impressions I am not good with metaphors hun ... but I saw it as a solitary person having a conversation with himself and being at a sense of confusion till he became content in it ... hey I am always wrong and I am most probably now but you have my impressions ... much Love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

I am late - yet again - in catching up on your posts. Saying "I enjoyed the walk" is not enough here, as I don't think it is an enjoyable walk those two in your poem are having. Rather, their walk is overshadowed by insecurity, fear even. It seemed to me as if a blind man is leading a blind man... Now, why can't you edit this piece? I think incorporating Marie's suggestions would give this poem the finishing touches. If this problem persists, please report it to the technical team. Yours, ~Nina

This is a quite wonderful variation on an old chestnut. I like very much. You do so well with your written arts. Brian

Chuck, I'm glad you've invited this input. I gave you no stars in my first comment because I wanted you to first clean this up. I then was going to come back to see how it looks and to expand on my perceptions of the content. Because you're having trouble editing, I'm giving you your well-deserved five stars in advance (although it's abundantly clear the starring system has faults). I thought the most basic elements were immediately self-evident when I read this the first time, and now I see more. This piece has a wonderful metaphoric quality which touches me with gentleness and hope. I reiterate it has a pleasant feeling throughout; and that's especially because of your skill in conveying innocence and simplicity. You've incorporated unity and lightness by using words such as these: in tandem, comfortable, stillness, peace, leisured pace, chuckling, continue. (I like your repetition of the quietly unifying concepts.) You bring in some contrasting elements through your use of these words: raw, cuff stations, coarsely breaking silence, uneasiness, doubtful, nervously, less than comfortable, re-formed, weighty. And then there's the: I trusted. I think you and your friend are walking hand in hand with LIFE. You demonstrate that we are all traveling through our days without really knowing in particular where we are going. The saying that life is a journey packs more power than most life-livers realize. In your piece you emphasize with softly ringing undertones that we often fool ourselves into thinking we know where we are going, while the truth is that we don't really need to foresee so much advance detail. Chosen paths often diverge from what we've expected, and precise expectations can sometimes lead to disappointment, confusion, and blaming. Personally, I like to allow life to unfold before me, and I make the wisest preparations I'm able even while realizing I can handle what I face as it comes, preferably also with wisdom. And so to expect the unexpected is to feel comforted, in my world. I can plan for certain contingencies, but not all can be known because there is no Life Map (although some would like to hand us one and instruct us to follow it, such as people stuck within humanity-constricting religious groups). Your reference to "cuff stations" conjures images of binding, of freedom-robbing. Meticulous selection of words (messages) here and there designed for thought-provocation, Chuck. In my mind's eye, I'm picking up flashes of hidden coaxes such as acceptance, congeniality, togetherness, friendship. This poem is a modeling representation (dare I say sermon!) of a philosophy of life we would all do well to follow. Our future is not fore-ordained. Positives and negatives await everyone, and that's about all we can trust to happen. We can impact ourselves and others limitedly, but with an understanding that control exists only in each individual moment and that often we fail anyway in our attempts to control. While we are "all in this together," we are also each of us alone---with our thoughts and beliefs and also with our actions. My friend---your friend---cannot be surely relied upon for direction and answers. We can take our strength from our own okayness and through staying connected to ourselves. And sometimes okayness blooms from discomfort. I love the messages and wise guidance you are kindly giving your readers here. This is inspirational. Thank you. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I haven't read the long comment above, perhaps I should. I saw it as a metaphor for life and as such it is a very good one. It reminds me also of the Irish joke "Och Paddy I thought i saw y'u in the street th' other day, but when we came together it was neither of us:" It has the same character don't you think? Yours Ann of Norway

knowing how desperatly frustrating the way the net gives and takes away arbitrarily. This is is the first time in 2 years I have seen you caught up in a controversy, besides our silly billabong thing. And I think, my friend, it is a false one. Sarah called you as no-one who knows you would, and, this is the point, on different terms. We need outspoken people like her. Cut her some slack, ok? Cheers, Jess "The political arena leaves one no alternative, one must either be a dunce or a rogue." Emma Goldman

Chuck, You just keep writing the stuff I enjoy so much~~ _____________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous