Seren

Aug 02, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Surrendering

Surrendered visions
floating on river time
full of empty honor
illusion in torment

Beating a chest
hollow
echoing the sadness
of lost joy
an inner path
to nowhere
and everywhere
merged in thoughts
this paradox
of life

Tempt me with happiness
pulling it away
holding
signing timed fears
to missed chance
marking this broken
dance to busk
crumbling in dust
ever fragile
and never to stop
as in ceased time
steep steps of sorrow
drop tears into
the stones that wisdom laid

— Seren, Aug 02, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

Ravenshakti

16 years 10 months ago

Seren...

Very beautiful... Your words walk smoothly... through a rocky path. Bright Weavings, Raven

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Raven ...

Thank you I always love your reactions to my poetry it gives me great joy and pleasure HUG love Jayne x x

sweetspirit

16 years 10 months ago

Beautiful

Thought this was a beautiful rendition of lifes lessons learned for every heartache for every tear makes us stronger an wiser until the day our reward comes due.. Really enjoyed it, ~SweetSpirit~

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

~Sweet~

How right you are ... you read it as it was meant to be read thank you for that ... This is a lesson in heartache of life (for me) and wasnt an easy write ... thank you so much for the read and the comment much appreciated love Jayne x x x

Quillsvein1

16 years 10 months ago

this really

speaks to me of an inner vacuuity, a feeling that all the most profound words and wisdom sometimes do not work and cannot pull us out of a dull inner complacency--you communicate it very well. of course, this psychic state is usually only temporary, and no matter how we feel these words inform our subconscious and teach us how to live. beautiful melancholy here. GB

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

GB

Thank you , this was a personal write as I have said before, and your right there is a sense of inner vacuity, but I work it out by writing these , its funny I can an idea for a poem but what I start out to write is never what comes out my muse takes over the reins and away she goes, but I am glad she does she has more sense than I do LOL ... So happy you liked it :) regards Jayne x x

press

16 years 10 months ago

hi JC

This one is crazy good .I have my headphones on listening to Jazz and reading your poem was magic together .Were do I send the check [smile]. I love this line an inner path to no where and everywhere merged in thought LOV2U PRESS

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Heya Press

Your smile and comment was payment enough ... :) ... *Big Smile* back at you ... want to know something funny ? I was listening to jazz when I wrote this one sooooo maybe theres something in that LOL much love and Hugz Jayne x x

greeneyes

16 years 10 months ago

beautiful

Just beautiful! As all your poems are. You are a favorite of mine.

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Green Eyes

Thanks for the comment and the read its always appreciated and I am glad that you enjoy my scribbles ... and its always nice to get good feedback ... Hugz take care regards Jayne x x

Electric Blue

16 years 10 months ago

Surrendering

Jayne Oh this is me on how I feel and have done so for such along time now. I give my heart only to see it crumble again and again all I have left are visions and torment beating on a chest echoing the sadness of lost joy an inner path to nowhere and everywhere You tempt me with happiness then keep tearing it away. Missed chances broken hearts crumble in the dust so fragile deep in sorrow my tears fall on stones below along with my shattered heart In limbo am I forever This is so raw my friend I understand oh so much can a broken heart ever be mended Electric blue so blue

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Maggie

I think this is a feeling that most people go through and my way of pushing through it these days is to write it out, I am happy most of the time I can be falling apart inside but still smiling ... just the nature of me I guess ... thank you so much for your comment and read I love it when my friends enjoy my scribbles ... love and hugz Jayne x x We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall ...