Miss Nomers, and What I Think I Know is True

There most certainly is a Santa Claus
Wingtips are the best men's shoe,
you can't repackage electronics
no matter what the hell you do;

Unicorns exist somewhere
as does that elusive "pot of gold"
at the end of every rainbow
just like the story's told.

We all know that there's a "Boogyman",
and you must propose on bended knee,
all writers are alcoholics in denial
that is, except for me.

If their offspring are trapped underneath
a woman can lift a car,
and can also almost cripple a man
and leave nary, a scar.

A woman cannot get pregnant
as long as she's on top,
and a surprise finger in the butt-hole
of a biting dog will make it stop !

You're all alone in a crowd
make a face and you'll stay like that !
Put your best foot forward with a happy face
but be careful walking a black cat !

You should choose your words more wisely,
and don't "fidget" while you talk,
never track mud across your Mom's shiny floor
and always trust a man that's known as "doc".

These are my truths and my Miss Nomers
but the list stops here, if you will...
because too many pages will empty a forrest
and close down another landfill.