the OBSESSION OF ONE

"You are my obsession, my darkest delight.Moonlight by day -The brightest of nights You're my confessionI bring to the altarthe perfect persuasionthat makes me falter. Whether it's ten "Hail Mary's" or a dozen "Our Fathers,"I'll be sent to damnationbefore I get pardon. My desires are damningmy pleasure too few -when all that I look at brings me back to you... BjR July 29, '09 Hail Mary's/Our Fathers - prayers said as penance by Roman Catholics

— Bonitaj, Jul 30, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Tip of Southern Africa, ZAF

Favorite Poets: Too many to narrow down, but briefly :, AUDEN, T.S. ELIOT, DICKENSON, RILKE, THOREAU, RUMI ... the list is endless. Am inspired by many, especially those that live lives of "quiet desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them" (THoreau)

Critiques

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Great write Boni … really

Great write Boni ... really liked the flow in this one ... and the message at the end very powerful ... tempted still to evil .. regards Jayne

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

Hi Boni...

only ok for me... I mean you didn't get all sticky sweet and you kept it pretty original despite the "cliched metaphors" pardon... maybe pardoned or a pardon... Richard

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Boni,

for some reason I find myself struggling with that very line Richard mentions, but can't yet put my finger on it... All in all, I think that it's a sound write, but would love to see a stronger conclusion. Yours, ~Nina

Bonitaj

16 years 10 months ago

the obsession of one

Is the boredom of two or three! :) But seriously guys I take no offense! I too feel that right now my star is waning... need to take some time out or find a new muse hey Nina@!>> ") Catch you later! Boni

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Boni,

poems can be like bonsai trees, in order to have them grow into beautiful shapes we sometimes must cut off a branch or two, but never too much... It's hard to do when one thinks the tree is the right shape or size already, or when one is disappointed with the result of the previous cutting and is tempted to cut off even more. Hey, anyone know some muse provider? I could use one, too! Yours, ~Nina

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Serendipity Has been working overtime for me

so you guys can have her on time share LOL fight it out who goes when LOL much love and hugz Jayne *Big Smile* And Boni no star wanes and I dont think yours is to be honest I think your pushing yourself and making some beautiful poetry , please dont ever be offended at comments to improve your work ... Neopoet is after all a workshop and I wouldnt be writing the way I am now without their help and support ... you have a gift Boni ... as all the poets here do ... and btw I would miss your exuberance you are such a bouncey person and always make me smile :) much love Jayne x x