Laced destinies over time undone

For me; your poem is tantalizing... It brought a delicious tickle to my mind; And my mind savored it... Followed it's rhythm with delight. I love, "a fine lace of possibilities" Exquisite. Raven

This is really good - I especially liked the part mentioning what is wrong here is correct somewhere. Kind of leads into a whole worm-hole, time-warp thingy! Congrats on spotlight. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Sundown you better take care if I find you've been creepin' 'round my back stairs. Sometimes I think it's a sin when I feel like I'm winnin' when I'm losing again" - Gordon Lightfoot

I like this one deep thinking here at least for me. This line: 'as real each as this one now' I can't seem to get its meaning. Either way I like the whole poem. ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara

a dazzling impressive write, Jess-elf. Don't you wish you had a time machine like H.G. Wells? I can see you now... dancing across time! Always, Cat

I like the clean look and feel of this. There's a diaphanous webbing I'm seeing (feeling), both veiling and protecting the purity of the soul from which I know this was written.

A very nice display. I had been waiting. Brian

By George, he's got it!! the destiny of being undone... SPOTLIGHT!!! ;-) ~A "You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." Ayn Rand

so it is that the suprises and finds are lavish and intricately sublt I read these words words of these I read

in this way is time truly undone, destiny dismayed my favourite lines ... and as always my friend brilliant ... Much Love and Hugz Jayne x x

Jess, I hope you don't feel this an intrusion, couldn't really avoid it, this being in spotlight, & in truth it is hard, since all the trouble of late lays here before me, I want to say I really enjoyed this work, loved the flow & weaving, loved the choice of word because they snuck me through a myriad of crevices, grottos & convoluted travellings, that pleased me, the unnuttered spaces, handed to each heart via uttered & insinuated words. This is the work of yours I have enjoyed the very most, & I am most happily bumped..... yet I cannot critique with harsh shovel (as you seem to be calling for), there is nothing that I feel would be necessarilly better changed, but am relieved that no-one else here has either... Perhaps you see why I advocate that genuine positive feedback does have validity... That was all I ever wanted to say. I love this write of yours here (is that a gush?... I teeter between saying "bad luck", & apologising, but hope you will be able to take it with humour & grace either way, as it is well intended!) (If not verbose!) Cheers Anni~ ` "Those who dwell among the beauties & mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life" ~ Rachel Carson Writer/conservationist

I really liked your style of writing! ii will have 2 read again n again!

a truth to dazzle us with... for every step is indeed covered with a multitude... the rest of our lives in fact... of possibilities. there was only question I had... in the title, shouldn't "destinies... be destiny's.?? Richard

Personally, I liked those lines, I felt they were very connected... not only by content, but by the simpleness of understanding... two plus two sort of thinking that escapes... The final line, the question, is answered so simply in your first line... Did you ever see "the butterfly effect"... a pretty good story line, that follows your question about a certain event... and how changing it changed each person involved dramatically... it was sort of lame on how it would take place, but I remember the story line, and it was good. Richard

LOL I got your email saying that you wanted suggestions and worked on it since i got the email ... you guys are fast LOL already done it ... Much love and hugz Jayne x x

or destiny repaved... (the road is....) I forget the original read (know it's available under revisions)... & it matters not. Smiles. ~A "You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." Ayn Rand

For whatever it's worth, I prefer the earlier version I read on the 27th, Jess. I also know it's sometimes very difficult to leave well enough alone. But you must be the final judge of your own work, of course.

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN! A fabulous pathway to personal enlightenment! Nice write Bonita j

carved and meticulously grand assessment of how morality can be blurred by the uncanny and deceptively relativistic nature of existence. i once wrote a poem very similar to this but now lack the minute psychical laser beam attention needed to do so--i applaud you for this one. loud. GB

Destiny can be a burdan. I like this very much. One line I have a problem with when I read it outloud is the "as real each as..." it seems clumsy with the rest when read outloud. I'm not sure if it is the as then another as. Only critique I would make. Love the ideas. raskin

there is someting I am not use to seeing in youre works a time factor "now" and a feeling "I want" extras or are you crawling out of your shell my turtle friend Donnie/Sinbad Du Huh! what does this mean in referance to my work the Lover Doctor Confusion or the like was a very breif comment kind of vague

I like the change in line 4, it reads much better. I just notice elsewhen, in line 7 should their be a space. ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Loved the edit Jess ... Love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...