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Telescope

In farthest gaze of lonely star
blazes forth an endless flare
within where shines a glorious fire
of light and love and ecstacy
of murderers and mothers
glory and assassins
conquest and collapse
where war stalks battered landscapes
of stone and sea and struggling heart
so peace can soothe all weary minds
while fragile order battles chaos
and death becomes the avatar of life

endless generations fight
through darkened ignorance to light
and the hands of species
cupped around the uplift
of technology and reasoned thought
rise up to touch the nearest stars

in that precious instant
where mind expands
all futures known and bright
we realize we are
much more than simply one
that in our loneliness of life
we share so much
and gazing out into the dark we know
above all else
above the hate and love
despair and joy
birth and death and work and play
above it all
above this fray:

We Are
— Race_9togo, Jul 26, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

More from this author

Critiques

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

16 years 10 months ago

Kelsey

It's now 4:20 Am, my time. You can see how little time I have for on-line stuff! LOL Glad you enjoyed it, I agree, that line sucks, so I changed it. Good to be posting again Kelsey, Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

16 years 10 months ago

Telescope

Jim, you always bring me right where you want me to be with you words. I think this piece does need some punctuation for better flow. Other than that, nicely done~ _____________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

16 years 10 months ago

Janice

LOL You give me too much credit...but it pleases me no end that my words take you on such journeys of enjoyment. I am still thinking about the punctuation, but I think you're right, and I'll add some as soon as I can figure out where I want the flow to go. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
M

Marie-I-Be

16 years 10 months ago

soothe ...

Hi, Jim. I think you mean soothe, not sooth. I'd like to see all of the commas removed and then some blank lines inserted to separate ideas for easier reading. That's a little start, anyway, for some improvement. Try it out, see how you like. And instead of that little dash you have after "fray," I'd rather see a colon. Then you also would not need that final period.
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

16 years 9 months ago

Hi Marie

Yeas I meant soothe, thank you. I took the commas out, and instead split the poem into three stanzas. I don't know if it's better though, I'm always partial to a little anarchy in my poetry. I'm trying the colon thing too, let's see if others like it. Thanks Marie, Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
O

odiumscurse

16 years 9 months ago

Gathering traits

Perfect titel it reminded me of Tupac-Staring At The Word Through My Rearview song, excellent five star poem! PHENOM:T.S
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

16 years 9 months ago

LOL

Thanks man, I appreciate it. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

16 years 9 months ago

LOL

Like my new pic, huh. I stumbled across it by accident, and thought it was...well...heehee... ...thought-provoking? >;D Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race