Spilling of Dimensions

but you just keep getting better! Lovely write - would've liked to see it a bit longer though! lol Boni

Hi Jayne I am always drawn to your poetry and I too would have liked to have more Barry

change is beautiful in itself and,of course, that what is most beautful in others comes from within. Its a lovely poem JayC and i really feel with a few tweaks it could be even more powerful and perhaps easier to empathise with the imagery which currently i struggled with in places. In the first verse for example it would perhaps make more sense for the external beauty to be eroded away by time (as indeed it is) and for the lime to be associated with the rain....although being alkaline it is not a perfect image for the acid rain i sense you are referring to. I feel we also say goodbye "to" something or someone rather than "of" them. In the second verse i am wondering what precisely you mean by "part dimension" and i suppose i was left with the conclusion that you are referring to a revelation that, as it were, splits open the accepted external world and allows the truth behind it to flow out? Finally, from a personal side, i am not that keen on the word "grace" which is rather overused to be honest although i accept that it is almost certainly precisely what you meant (so please just ignore the last line i added lol). Anyway, in time honoured fashion here is another version for you to mull over or reject or whatever. Love and hugs as always. K A sad farewell to beauty eroded by careless time scattered rains from yesterday eating through skin like lime Thought splits apart dimension truth spilling into space beauty isn’t an illusion it shines behind each face

You are amazing, dear girl. I, too like it ending in grace! Always, Cat