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Big River

   Aspen leaves

               floating

         each

a golden

    coin

         made treasury

                           of a flowing river

                                             wet salt grass

                               leaf mold

                  perfume

    her banks

oxidized shapes

                      undulate

                                  in currents

                                                  beneath her

                            silvered surface

   never one to deny

her identity

               she flows southward

                                             to a

                                        sad

                                  fate

                      her soul

                                     will twist

                                                   with

                                                         insults

                                 she must endure

                    poisoned

       made fat

with

waste

         here in mountains

                                    of

                                her birth

                                           her

                                   fate

                           is still

          unknown

she carrys

a golden cloak

on

her back

          she

is still

  free

singing

to her

mother moon

easing

her passage

across

the

sky

mother moon

                gazes

    fondly

upon her

water daughter

full of joy

        I      crossed     a       river

named

Rio Grande

last

night

her real name

kept

secret

      with a

           solitary

                    note

        an

owl

marked

my

passage

The End

DS Baker

About This Poem

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Region, Country: NV and NC, USA

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Comments

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 9 months ago

Hello

This poem is simply scintillating in content and structure. Love the references to the moon. The title and pacing are good. Language use is dazzling. Always, Cat
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

16 years 9 months ago

Dave

"her banks/oxidized shapes/undulate/in currents/beneath her" - I especially liked these lines here. Clever way of formatting so that the write is made to resemble a lazily flowing river. Nice work. I've nothing to add at the moment. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Sundown you better take care if I find you've been creepin' 'round my back stairs. Sometimes I think it's a sin when I feel like I'm winnin' when I'm losing again" - Gordon Lightfoot
dbaker

dbaker

16 years 8 months ago

Cat, and Jess:Thank you both

Cat, and Jess: Thank you both for your kind comments. I am sorry that my reply is so very slow. I am lucky to have internet connection once a week. I have been experimenting with negative space and spacing of late. I am glad to see that this piece turned out as well as it did. All my respect and friendship! DS Baker
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 7 months ago

Hello DS

I was just thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. Don't take too long of a break, 'cause we miss ya! Always, Cat