Relentless

Driving in the old Mercury
Eight cylinders of relentless motion
Seethe me back to you

Your offhanded remarks
The taking a powder look
Make It clear that you are gone

Dusty blue eyes
And a peach tree smile
Prick through veins of regret

With the window down to the tempest
I feel every familiar mile on highway 49
I listen for a sound, a clue, anything
But meaning gives up secrets reluctantly

The old Mercury, unencumbered by doubt
Seeks only the next mile on the dark highway
While I seek a tear in the rain

— Michael Anthony, Jul 23, 2009

About the Author

Region, Country: San Francisco Bay Area - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Bukowski, Billy Collins, Ted Kooser, Haiku & Harvey Kurtzman (a visual poet, of sorts)

Critiques

Bonitaj

17 years ago

Interesting title!

loved some of your imagery: 'but meaning gives up secrets reluctantly'particularly. Just one or two suggestions if I may. The first 2 lines of the second stanza - don't in fact make it clear that she's gone. Just the intention to go - becomes clear. Does that make sense? Is it permissible given 'poetic license?' I would think so - but perhaps just by changing the tenses from 'you are gone' to "that you were going" ? how does that sit with your 'writer's pen?' Last tweak for me would be the closing line. Allow me to be a little subversively cynical when I say "was she only worth "a tear"? Not much to cry over there... But seriously, look at changing that to the plural! Like your writing a lot - it shows a man of great sensitivity. Keep it up! Bonita j

Michael Anthony

17 years ago

Heyo!

Hi Boni, Thanks for the feedback. I think I was trying to convey something that was not quite so literal. My thinking was that this poem was meant to portray a relationship in trouble, more so than another my baby left me kind of effort (god knows we all have plenty of those stories waiting to be written). The last line in the last stanza was looking to say how difficult it is sometimes to find the reason why things are not working out. Not sure I was successful with my intent for this write, but that's my story and I'm stickin' to it = ) Given that frame of reference, any additional comments for this wanderer of the written word? Best Mike

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