Cloudthings

Jul 23, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Temple of redemption (& my own ruby quiet atrium) - revised

Uncloud me in this potent temple
I hear you singing my own songs in cracked and bloody verbiage
Yet I forgive and turn full solace
To my soothing sky and silence
Honey swirling sweetness into gentler humming purity

My darling sisters
Sparkling stars from distant wombs
Reach to me in such familiar tones
And step onto the dance floor unconcerned
But to flow into the wilderness of joy in marrying the movement to the sound
How I have been blessed
For all the crappy history endured
A thousand dragonflies in serendipitous performance
A million diamond heartbeats reflected from the water to my eyes
A myriad of harmonies to swirl and raise my own to swooning grace and full crescendo
And the sweetest drops of juice, kisses of the precious fruit of trees adored and tended here by love

They were bothersome as blowflies, those miscreants
Yet the lesser blessed suffer in their own reduction
Almost I met them there
My efforts for redemption find me rising
Since I never sought a “better than” from anyone but me
And so competition cannot strip me
No win or lose, I shine in my own ruby quiet atrium
Where many loved ones come to share a song
This is all that matters
I have known it all along

— Cloudthings, Jul 23, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Australia, regional Victoria, AUS

Favorite Poets: So many... Rumi, Spike Milligan, Keats. Many of the Neopoet clan, past & present. A myriad of song writers, Dylan, Jackson Browne, Lior, & I must add the poetic influence of painters, sculptors & creators across the world... Life really, especially the sky.

Critiques

bjp

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Anni,

There you are. It is good to see your verse on the glowing screen. Communities are sharers of joys and griefs, as well you know. And the addition or subtraction of people is the most stressful of times to community and to people. You are such a wonderful welcome bringer here. It is such a comfort in the face of that tension referred to. I am distracted in the moment. But did not want to let your posting pass without a returning welcome. Welcome, Anni. Brian

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

these are things I aspire to so I am glad they seem to be effect

Thanks Brian, it always means a lot to find you here, apologies for my own distractions of late.. Thank you for your kind words, these are things I aspire to so I am glad they seem to be effective to some extent. A lovely, graceful welcome from you, my considered humble bow in return.. with a smile & cheeky eye twinkle (as is my want!)... I do hope your own distractions have been sweetly fruitful & that you & Olya are travelling smoothly or at least pleasurably, you are both such a treat here. Cheers Yours Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

faerybeki

16 years 10 months ago

Anni, can’t tell you how

Anni, can't tell you how wonderful it is to be reading something new from you :) Whoop, whoop and hooray!! :) There's some potent lines in here hon, 'sparkling stars of distant wombs', I love that line and the last 5 lines just blew me away babe! You're so right and oh how you shine for me Anni, it's great to have you back here :) welcome home honey :) Love you, BIG hugs Beks xxxx

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

glad you picked that line, it refers. without a doubt, to you

Thanks beautiful one.. glad you picked that line, it refers, without a doubt, to you very much of course.. you must know that. This place has changed I think, I felt it might after what happened, it seems like a bit of vivisection if not butchery (no blame intended anywhere), I guess it is the element of warring, it leaves indelible scars, they are not always so visible, but here I see them very evident each time I visit, I find it sad. It isn't as joyful & free as it was before... ah well, at least I got to experience it for several months in that way... None-the-less, it is always a pleasure to connect with you dear one. Goodness, I see there is no Spotlight at the moment, how odd, I saw there was much consternation recently over spotlight & opinions etc., sigh, some would call that a good thing... I still miss the peace & pleasure myself... & the scones honey (chuckle... how I adore you for your scones, exotic & rich & alive & full of surprises... no ordinary supper yours!). Ta for your warmth & welcome - much love & warmth in return. Cheers Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

orgami

16 years 10 months ago

summers hot developments

the poem rolls careful and tempo sweet I like these lines "I hear you singing my own songs in cracked and bloody verbiage" "For all the crappy history endured A thousand dragonflies in serendipitious performance" comforting to See you once more ( I love your eyes in your pic ) the calm steadiness taking in the scene

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

I like to get eye to eye with things, see as clearly as I can...

Sorry it has taken so long to reply here... & my pic has long changed... I think it best to avoid pics that show the entire face/body (for me it seems to be a distraction from the point of being here... though, I reflect that I don't mind the rainbow being a distraction... Ah well), but I should gracefully thank you.. I like to get eye to eye with things, see as clearly as I can... I love your clear comments Steven... Thank you Cheers Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Welcome back Anni … have

Welcome back Anni ... have missed reading you girl ... and its a beautiful first piece back ... my favourites line was “For all the crappy history endured A thousand dragonflies in serendipitious performance” Those lines ... cant tell you how much they resonate in me atm lol ... Loved it all though but thats my favourite line ... Hug woooohooooo welcome back huni Love Jayne x x

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

beautiful serendipitous things STILL occur & all it takes is the

Thanks Jayne, I'm glad those lines loaned you some resonance, it can be a mighty comfort at times in my life at least. Yes, it is a great thing to know that despite all that crap - that sometimes just happens to us for no real reason,- beautiful serendipitous things STILL occur & all it takes is the grace to actually see (maybe look for?) them. Again, apols for not responding here sooner. Hope you are feeling well Jayne, I know it's a challenging time for you... Thinking good healing dragonflies your way! Cheers Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

Geezer

16 years 10 months ago

Temple....

So happy to see you back at the 'altar', I truly had the 'vision', I will call it. I knew you were a true devotee, and would not leave the 'Church', so to speak. Welcome back! " Where many loved ones come to share a song." That should be the Neopoet motto! L & Hugz, as Jane would say, ~ Gee.

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

the truth of goodness, happiness in sharing & good hearted gener

"... Oh I aint got a barrel of - Money, whether it's rainy or - sunny... but we'll travel along... singin' a song... side by side..." Not certain those lyrics are correct, but you get the gist... Any song, any excuse for cheery commmeraderie with an honest good soul. Well cheers to you my good believer & halellujah too... a true heart gathers sweet company I reckon, it's certainly been true for me. Your wonderful intentions shine so brightly shining squire, no matter what slander gets slung, the truth of goodness, happiness in sharing & good hearted generosity is it's own reward huh! Oh & despite no spotlight, here we are, met at these fortuitous crossroads, can't be co-incidence methinks. Love & hugz indeed... cheers to Jayne & all the other good hearts here Cheers Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

Candlewitch

16 years 10 months ago

Anni!

Welcome back, I am so glad to have come across this poem for reasons two-fold. One... just to see you again. two... the beauty and truth of your words. My favorite lines, these say it all for me: My efforts for redemption find me rising Since I never sought a “better than” from anyone but me And so competition cannot strip me No win or lose, I shine in my own ruby quiet atrium Where many loved ones come to share a song This is all that matters I have known it all along Big hugs, Always, Cat

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

I feel very honoured to find you at the alters of my efforts & w

Dearest Cat, what a beautiful comment... in keeping with so many of yours I have read, you really have a great soul woman. I feel very honoured to find you at the alters of my efforts & with such praise (from such a wise woman... but wisdom comes from the lessons of pain & difficulty met with courage & heart... it is so clear as I read of you that you have an abundance). You made me tear up, reading your response, & my own words reflected back from you thus, a gift returned... thank you. Cheers Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

odiumscurse

16 years 10 months ago

Cheers!

Really good! pace and rythm I liked alot, exact words used to exspress strong filling.

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

Hey thanks for that, made me smile! (warmly)

Hey thanks for that, made me smile! (warmly) Cheers Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Lovely to see you in Evolution

Congrates on evolution Anni was just about to go to bed and noticed you here ... shining ever so bright still a beautiful write loved it ... Love Jayne x x We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall ...

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

Thanks Jayne, it seems to me it is always you in evolution!

Thanks Jayne, it seems to me it is always you in evolution! Quickly reshape another, it's good to keep it churning (chuckle!)xx I do think it needed a tweek though, reads better now. Could probably use more, but I have less time these days. Take care Cheers Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

Nordic cloud

16 years 10 months ago

To comment here Anni, I

To comment here Anni, I would be out of my depth I think, it has such eloquence and style that i am baffled by it, it is of wordings that i do not find so easy to follow, and plead ignorance of its finer qualities being of simpler mind unable to add to its credence. I enjoyed several lines but this one was my favourite.- And the sweetest drops of juice kissed from the precious fruit of trees adored and tended here by love And my love to you Anni. Anushka

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

I am glad you found in it something that pleased you though, it

Simpler mind, I think not dear Anushka, for you have a delightful depth & perception, & a wonderful propensity for joy & generosity... so many of the best qualities. I am glad you found in it something that pleased you though, it is a pleasure to bring pleaure to those who bring us pleasure!!!!! You inspire & warm me dear one, & are on of the bright stars of this poem... & you are a tender of trees also I think. Cheers Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

Nordic cloud

16 years 10 months ago

I am a tender of trees, (a

I am a tender of trees, (a lover of trees- but not one that goes further than that! There was a teacher of Norwegian who did!!) and hope that the slight knowledge of poetry that I have can sometimes brighten the thoughts and pens of a poet or two on this sight, you attribute me with such fine qualities and I thank you but it is you who understand them and have named them, it is thereby you who possess so many extra fine qualities, too numerous to begin to write down. I hear the clouds singing and the waves echoing the songs for you now. "A thousand dragonflies in serendipitous performance  A million diamond heartbeats reflected from the water to my eyes  A myriad of harmonies to swirl and raise my own to swooning grace and full crescendo" And how you sing your heart out in every word, as if the heavens were opened to pour out your words like the mercury fountains of old Moorish Spain shining and scintillating in their dances. You have a gift and we are the ones to receive the fruits and savour them fresh from your heart, we are the lucky ones Anni. Just ignore any one who dares to challenge me! My love to you as aye Anushka.

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

Winter silver birch

Thank you Anushka, generous & considerate woman you are, I am feeling flat & a little broken since I keep thinking my physical state will improve & it does just enough to give hope, then I crash, it has not been a good few days & your warmth is a lovely balm. I am also disliking the political unpleasantness that has been stirred up in this place in the last few months, very few of us are as carefree & openly supportive as we used to be I think, & I don't believe the quality of critique has improved at all, rather I see more evidence of personal opinion of the negative with little constructive offerings. There are seeds of unrest & negativity planted all over the place & I am sad, the goodness has been bled here in a big way. I don't have the energy it takes to address it well (didn't the first time)... but thank you for offering your support, I'm afraid any skill or talent I show just makes the situation worse, & I admit such negative atmosphere is not always conducive to good writing for me. Cheers beautiful Anushka... ta for stopping by at this silver birch, I look forward to the spring & new buds. Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

Nordic cloud

16 years 10 months ago

Shine on you star of the Australian clouds

Dear sensitive Anni, It is only the petty jealous people who strike out at those with real talent, they always have and they always will. Just ignore them, I am sure we others do too, its not worth even bothering to read. I have not met any yet but then I have not yet developed into what one would call a poet. I am just enjoying myself spouting poetry and am astonished by myself when anything is good, or considered worth in this illustrous company = those who can write well. You keep doing your thing and enjoy doing it and we who love what you do can have the joy of enjoying it, that's all no more. Don't be downed by anybody else, you have your own wonderful worth and that needs nurturing, developing all through your life, keep at it and it will be the reward you receive, the greatest reward, when you yourself KNOW that you have produced something of great worth in this muddy little world of different characters. Shine on you star of the Australian clouds, sail on out into the blue and catch as many poems on the winds to regale us with in the future so that we too may ride your clouds and see the beautiful and the ugly put under your pens quality and character and feel we bloomed with you. Oh gracious me what a rigmarole, but you know what I mean? Love as aye Anushka

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

I am fully aware of how lucky & blessed I am to be so well loved

You are too kind Ms Anushka.. but I see the offending comment has been removed, it is so frustrating to be dogged by such insideous rudeness from one person. Still, as the poem says, (in a way) we ask for our own circumstances, & I am fully aware of how lucky & blessed I am to be so well loved & respected by really good folk in my life... I had a low couple of days physically, it makes such petty stuff harder to manage, but I am not that sensitive as to fall apart because of it. Still, always happy to see your smiling face & read your wonderful word weaving - & my dear one, please don't sell yourself short, you have such a wonderful way with words, you are, no doubt about it, a poet, your comments & your letters reek of it in a delightful way! But thank you for wanting to comfort me, you are such a warm & generous one. Don't fret, I am very resilliant, & full of love, it is everywhere around me, yours joins the harmonies & weaves it's way through everything I do as well...I thank you for it & your care. xxx Cheers Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Anni, dear,

I am sorry to be coming so late to this piece, like it very much! Fav lines: Uncloud me in this potent temple Sparkling stars from distant wombs A thousand dragonflies in serendipitous performance No win or lose, I shine in my own ruby quiet atrium Much love, ~Nina

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

Hey Nina, thanks, just been checking out your spotlight... congr

Hey Nina, thanks, just been checking out your spotlight... congrats & well done.. No prob about arriving late here, only just got back to replying to comments here myself, glad you enjoyed those lines xx Cheers Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

please do as you promised you would do, & stay away from comment

I fail to see how this comment could be seen as a "contribution" on a site that is supposed to be a poetry workshop & encourages writers. Unlike you I despise the kind of distructive warring this kind of commenting causes on this site. I am so very sick of you trying to bait me Jess, please do as you promised you would do after your last apalling PM to me & the apology that followed it... & stay away from commenting on my writing either poems or comments. Anni~

weirdelf

16 years 10 months ago