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In My Own Words

If I had as much money as I have love for you then I would be a millionaire

But I don’t have any because life is so un-fair.

My love for you runs deep and true, as much as the ocean is blue.

I can’t describe how much I love you but all I want is to kiss and hug you.

 

I am constantly thinking of you and all your lovely ways

Sometimes I lose entire days.

I am constantly in a daydream and I think of you so much I want to scream

I can’t bear to live without you and I know that you will help me get through.

 

You make my life more joyful and cheery

Normally I feel so low and weary.

You brighten up my day and I wouldn’t want you any other way.

I hope you will always stay true to you

And forever stop me from feeling blue

 

I can’t express myself in the conventional way of speech

I want you to know that you are like an Angel because you are completely out of my reach

I hope you understand that all the feelings I have for you are difficult for me to explain

My love for you is an addiction like cigarettes or cocaine.

 

I jut want to make you aware of this fact,

Though I am not quite sure how you would react

If I were to say that when I think of you I want to cry

Not because you upset me, no way not I

Simply because you fill my heart with plenty of joy,

Much happiness

And a lot of glee

So all I really want to say to you is that you are so special to me.


— michael, Jul 21, 2009

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Critiques

Fleur MacDonald

Fleur MacDonald

16 years 10 months ago

If I received this

from my lover I would fall even harder!! This is such a beautiful write and it almost made me cry!! :)fleur
M

michael

16 years 10 months ago

RE: If I reeived this...

Oh, wow! Thank you, thank you, thank you! U have really made my day! U R so kind! I'm speechless....I am without speech!
T

Tink

16 years 10 months ago

M -

As promised, i am here to offer critique on this poem. First and foremost, you absolutely must fix the format. It takes away any glory of the piece by not flowing properly. This piece is very hard to get a good read on for me because of the format. If you fix that, I could give it a much better review. I will be able to see where you are breaking your lines and see better the impact each line has. I know that you feel/like to rhyme, which there is nothing wrong with, but please make sure you don't force a line just to get the rhyme. if you do that, you take away from the meaning and your reader will know that it is more important to you (as an author) to rhyme then to portray your message. I think that you have a good message, and there is a lot of heart in your words. Let's work on getting it across in the best possible way. Start with fixing the format. I'll be back to see once that is completed. Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink