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Candlewitch

Jul 21, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Heart of the Vampire ( rewrite #4)

On a peak, high atop the Carpathian Mountains

An early riser stood, fresh from the coffin,

Alone, in the cold, purpling twilight

as the mists of night rose all about Him.

Outside His mountain citadel, the loneliness

Washed over Him as the crisp air ruffled

The edges of His long flowing cape.

He gazed down on the precipice,

following the steep rock face

that eventually ended in a swift-flowing river.

It was to that river that He had lost, to suicide,

His only love, His wife, three hundred years past.

She was told, by the enemy, He was killed in battle.

Decimated in soul, lost and forlorn, keeping her own council,

She pitched herself out the tower window, down,

down to her self-sought death, to be swept away by the river.

It was then that He renounced the unforgiving Christian God

who refused her entry to the fabled afterlife

and, thus, His unholy war commenced, baptized in blood.

Over the years, He had created concubines who followed

But they could never take her place or touch

His soul with their meaningless dark beauty.

His every day and night began and ended

with her name, Elizabetha, like a prayer on His lips.

Through the guileless Jonathan Harker, He learned of

the reincarnation of His soul mate, His one true love,

rechristened Wilhelmina, in a faraway place.

So it was that He left Harker to the administrations

of the damned princesses, His whores from Hell

Soon, He would take leave from the children of the night

to board the ship in Varna, on the Black Sea, to take Him

to London and Mina, where He would win back His own

Initiating her into their new life

bathing her in the soul-sustaining blood they would share...

— Candlewitch, Jul 21, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more., Candlewitch

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Critiques

ID

16 years 10 months ago

And Dracula rises again!

This time from Edge's pen, not from Stoker's. Great look into that famous bloodsucker's soul, Cat! Yours, ~Nina P.S. typo (title)

16 years 10 months ago

LOL

I just noticed the typo, too! Thanks for reading and commenting, dear friend. Always, Cat

B

bjp

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Caitlin,

Abraham "Bram" Stoker wrote in 1897, which was during the closing years of the Victorian period when writer's could not easily touch on issues of sexuality. Thus Stoker combined the exotic story of Vlad Tepes, oblique invocation of Tepes' distant cousin, Elizabeth Báthory, the "blood Countess", and the lore of Wallachia (from Vlachs) to bring the exotic into combination with the erotic, without any overt sexual genie. The Victorian age expired more than one hundred years ago, and we now have ample permission to speak of kisses, lust, damp crevices and the extremes of coitus that were unknown to Stoker except through anonymous mostly French pornographers. Yet still the metaphor of blood draws forth like a bats tongue, licking. It is as if we do not want to acknowledge our own-ness, but cast the responsibility for lust and the luxury of wantonness upon another's magic. Not us, who need a bleeding of the heart. Victoria was very much this way personally. She lamented her mother's lonely death, after having sent the unilingual German speaker, who was an embarrassment, to a distance. She grieved her husband's death (and her cousin's), having his pajamas laid out each night and his shaving kit each morn, as if he lived the same long decades. She dressed in morning all the remainder of her life, for many years forgetting the other responsibilities: children and government. I understand the sources of this kind of disrepair but fight it both within myself and outside. I tend to think of it as an obligatory struggle. Vlad Tepes, in his own age, was the darling of the Catholic Church: a crusader of the most important sort. Wallachia sat cheek by jowel to the Ottoman aggressor which terrified Europe, stealing mostly Slavic children away from parents and Christianity to be made into the Janissary, Sipahi, Akıncı and Mehterân troups of the huge Oriental army. Tepes' small army used terror tactics as most all overwhelmed forces move toward, if they continue to fight at all. His reputation over time was tarnished by the invention of the printing press by the Germans, cousins to the German middle class of Wallachia which was always waring with the nobility and thus engendering each others' wrath. Tepes routed them and they out published him. In any event, I am awaiting the voice that speaks without a layer of mediation. A direct voice, whether of woe, want or relish, but owned and possessed of self. This poem speaks of a longing to be severely wanted, chased across continents and death, defiled even, in to the arms of exotic love. It will be more powerfully said in a voice placed in your own time, your own space and with your own admissions. Brian

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Brian

Thank you for taking the time to write up all this history, much of which I didn't know. I gobbled up every word of it. Perhaps you could suggest some books for me to read. Thank you for your kindness and response. Always, Cat p.s. I wish I could read the poem over spoken word, but alas, my voice has been ravaged by asthma and mild emphysema. From my longer years of smoking cigarettes.

B

bjp

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Caitlin,

We share the asthma and mild emphysema, the latter for the same reason. My initial comments reflect a wide array of topics not likely found in one place. Most of my reading about Vlad Tepes occurred more than four decades ago and I am afraid the books, were I to remember the titles, are likely available only in large libraries as they are certainly out of print. However, these sorts of biographies have only gotten better with time and the widespread interest in the diminutive (Son of) Impaler have resulted in many more published accounts. Anything with Vlad Tepes in the title and containing footnotes would likely contain much of his story. There will be similar and separate accounts of Elizabeth Báthory. Many of the works on Vlad Tepes will touch on his military involvement with the Ottomans and his conflicts with the Boyars or commercial traders (principally of German ethnicity). It will be the rare "Dracula" book that details the Ottoman's practices of enslaving Christian boys for military service. Thus Christian armies were attacked by slaves, formerly Christian. I am sure there are good books on the subject. Best I think if it is detailed, for an understanding of this issue will help you understand why Serbians' hate Bosnians so much (the latter group being former Serbians who adopted Islam during the Ottomans' tenure or families who can trace their roots to former Turkish garrison troops. Much the same for Albania, Kosovo and other areas in the old Ottoman haunts). There will also be separate and good biographies of Abraham Stoker. These should detail the times in which he wrote. If you wish to read about Victoria and Albert and their children you will find it in separate biographies and histories, and occasionally in family therapy texts. There will also be whole shelves of books on Victorian sexual practices, with the wives firmly and literally bound in corsets which could not be removed as they caused such muscle atrophy that the women could not bear there own weight outside of the corset (So came the practice of men aiding women up from the table and out of the carriage. Many women died in child birth as they no longer had abdominal muscles to push the baby out. Corsets were fit onto female children, some as young as two). Most men who could afford it kept a mistress, where sex was pursued with vigor. There was then a dual world, one of upright (almost literally) and stifled sexual behaviour and one of debauchery. And the leadership came from the crown, with Victory heading the stifling crowd and her son, the crown prince, the same crowd in debauchery. Of course, short versions of most of these topics are available on Wikipedia online. Just use the key words: Vlad Tepes, Elizabeth Báthory, Ottoman Empire, Balkan History, Kosovo History, Victorian Sexuality, Bram Stoker, Dacula, Wallachia, etc. (perhaps even corsets - I haven't checked). Brian

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Brian

Thank you, incredibly, for this wealth of knowledge and information. I will be looking into much of it. As young as two... Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

Cat

I absolutely loved the book, the movie, and now your take on it! The capitalisation of 'he, him, his' was that intentional to try to make her seem equal to God, I wonder? Deliciously dark and evil. My Medusa is grinning from ear to ear. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Sundown you better take care if I find you've been creepin' 'round my back stairs. Sometimes I think it's a sin when I feel like I'm winnin' when I'm losing again" - Gordon Lightfoot

16 years 10 months ago

Hello Jess

Yes, you guessed it, as He has set Himself up as an equal to fight a war with God. Glad you liked the poem. Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

Hi Kelsey

It was a very good read and I am about to reread it, lol, as I often do with my favorites. Thanks for reading and responding. Always, Cat

Q

16 years 10 months ago

I've always loved

Dracula (Christopher Lee was the best IMHO). And Nosferatu, though not the Kinski one! This poem is not only sophisticated and eerie but FUN! Jonathan Harker always struck me as a bit naive in the book--maybe Stoker was drinking--I mean first all this crazy stuff happens on the coach ride, it's obvious Dracula has a weird history and he's a weird guy, but still he stays even when he's locked in his room! This poem totally brought back my childhood love of Hammer films and particularly 1979's "Salem's Lot"! Thank you. GB

16 years 10 months ago

Hi GB

I always thought of Jonathan Harker as a milquetoast, or just part of the set. I've loved Dracula since I was a little girl, peeking out of my door to see the forbidden movie playing in the living room. I love those old style movies, including "Salem's Lot." I'm so glad I brought pleasant memories for you. Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

Cat

Dracooola! the first scary movie I ever watched was Zee Count lol an old version of Bela Lugosi I was 7 I think , I remember creeping into the hallway while my sister and her friend babysat while mum and dad were out and then suffered nightmares for months after LMAO that was punishment for being naughty and creeping out of bed ... we have so many interests in common dear Cat .... Here is yet another .... you have given breath to the breathless for me, that standing waiting figure was almost real, to take that ship to dear Mina ... How funny is this I only watched Dracula the other day, after not having watched it for a long time ... Loved this one huni ... Much Love Jayne x x

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Jayne

There is no hiding it, I'm a Dracula fan all the way. I think my favorite one is "Bram Stoker's Dracula" with Gary Oldman and Wynona Rider. It was the most like a love story. Thanks for reading. I would love to see you write a vampire poem, too Love, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

Gary and Wynona are my

Gary and Wynona are my favourites too ... the atmosphere in that movie for me ? is amazing but I always have loved old movies Boris Karloff etc ... I think the older films where more thrillers compared to todays standards but they knew how to really drag it out in those days ... And thanks to Brians information up above I leave your page better informed ... Am off to look up some of it to be honest LOL much Love Jayne x x Adored this one Cat its an even better read second time round (hug)

2Q

16 years 10 months ago

well written

I need to brush up on my vampire history but I think this was very eloquently written. I enjoyed it and look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Lights a candle, 2Quills

16 years 10 months ago

2 Quils

Thank you very much for reading and commenting on my poem. It is greatly appreciated. I read an acrostic of yours yesterday and was enthralled by it. Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

Heart of the Vampire

Cat This is amazing I was hooked I had to read until the last word and then Oh! It finished so soon. Is there more to come? I see the scene - out of his coffin he rose amid the swirling purple mist that shrouded him. His memory his human faliure haunts him of the time of his love falling falling from the precipice over the rocks where she is swept away in the fast flowing river so helpless is she no will left to hold onto. Heart broken is he as her name falls on his lips like a shadow of the night. He cannot forgive himself for forbidding her entry into the afterlife to be free. But now enslaved is she until he will make her his again but to be a slave to his way the only way now that they can be together. He has taken her soul she had no choice but does she want to come back to this? does she have a choice. So much time has passed but of course there is no time at all. WoW Cat - you got me going here I could go on and on. You have captured my imagination. You have left me wanton for more. Yes Please. Magnificent Electric blue

16 years 10 months ago

Wow

Maggie, you have written a better review than I have written a poem! I will be reworking this poem in the days to come and will try to incorporate some of your ideas into the rewrite. Now that I have your juices flowing, it is time for you to put all that energy into a poem! Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

Heart of a Vampire

CAT I inspired you WoW great homage my friend When I was reading this There was I hoping that I could write something like this too. Thank you for your compliments. I started to read and the scene appeared to me and it just came to life before me. I can only write what I saw. I am glad this has given you some new ideas always my friend I cannot wait to see what you create my friend. maggie Electric Blue

T

16 years 10 months ago

Cat,

I am a fan of vampires (which you already know). I think I can remember watching Dracula in my younger days. My how vampires have changed since then. Even by my own pen... I really enjoyed this read. I am now inspired to find a way to mix the old with the new... Thank you for sharing. Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Tink

I cannot wait to see where your imagination leads you! Thanks for reading and commenting. Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

Hi Cat

I have read the book by Stoker, and saw the movie. I admitt the book was a good read and I liked both. I knew with the fourth line you liked the movie as well. Bravo Cat. It was like seeing the scenes from the movie again. I too love the history and stories of vampires. Folklore and oral tradition of the children of the night thrill me. Good one Cat. Dana p.s. I like werewolves too. Vampires have a better press though. :>)

16 years 9 months ago

hello Dana

I don't know how I missed this entry. Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. I'm so glad that you liked my poem. I love the vampires, and werewolves too. Yo are right, vampires seem to take top listing. Thanks for reading! Always, Cat

16 years 10 months ago

Cat for me this one just

Cat for me this one just gets better with every rewrite hug much love Jayne x x Night I am very tired I am off to bed big hugs catch up with you soon ...

B

bjp

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Caitlin,

Your rewrite has a historical feel. Vlad Tepes had a fairly sad personal life. His father was murdered by Boyars, his wife committed suicide. Sort of reminds me of Franz Joseph Hapsburg of Austria-Hungary: his wife retreated into her mind, his son committed a suicide/murder (some debate), his brother, Maximilian, went off on the foreign adventure of becoming the Emperor of Mexico, only to be shot by firing squad, his heir, Franz Ferdinand, together with Sophia, Ferdinand's wife, were assassinated - the event that set off World War I. I have come across one of the early books which I read: Florescu, Radu; McNally, Raymond T. (1994). In search of Dracula: the history of Dracula and vampires. Houghton Mifflin Co. ISBN 0-395-65783-0. I read the first publication in 1972. This is an updated or republication. Brian

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Brian

Thank you so much for the extra effort that you have put into these reviews and the History lessons. I find it all very intriguing and exciting, and here I never knew I liked History! I will do my best to find that book you recommended. Thank you for everything. As Always, Caitlin

16 years 10 months ago

Kelsey

Thank you for rereading my rewrite. Tell me any suggestions you may have, don't be shy. I need to hear it to improve. Always, Cat

S

16 years 10 months ago

Amazing!! Truly indeed..I

Amazing!! Truly indeed..I loved every word..I too love the darker side of life..I have been intrigued by that which is taboo.. Looking forward to reading more.. ~SweetSpirit~

16 years 10 months ago

~Sweet Spirit~

How lovely to meet you! Thank you for reading my poem and commenting. Always, Cat

ID

16 years 10 months ago

Cat, wow!

This one has grown into epic dimensions! Tell Edge to write a follow-up piece, please, I would love to read about the journey, the arrival in England, the encounter with Mina... Yours, ~Nina

16 years 10 months ago

Nina

Seren (Jayne) has already taken on that task. She is writing it in 3 parts. Thanks for the reread, I'm glad you can tell that I worked my butt off on this piece. Thanks for taking the time to reread it. Always, Cat