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Bonitaj
Bonitaj
Jul 19, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

LOVE AT ITS CORE

  LOVE AT IT'S CORE  I want to connect with you         in that most sacred placefingers entwinedeyes locked on your face. I want to run my hands          through your inner spacetracing lips around your heartsavouring the time of your embrace. I need to see the divinity      shining in your eyesI need to drown in them       without fear of disguise I need to know what Love is        in its essence - at it's core.I need to understand through you       that I'll want for no more. BjR    19 July '09
— Bonitaj, Jul 19, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Tip of Southern Africa, ZAF

Favorite Poets: Too many to narrow down, but briefly :, AUDEN, T.S. ELIOT, DICKENSON, RILKE, THOREAU, RUMI ... the list is endless. Am inspired by many, especially those that live lives of "quiet desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them" (THoreau)

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Critiques

themoonman

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

Boni...

Love at its core... well done poet! No critique, I liked it very much the way it is, the way it is delivered, the spaces indicating pause, the drowning in the divinity... Richard
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 10 months ago

Hey RIchard!

ALways nice of you to stop by - AND be so generous in your critiques! Thanks BOni
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Boni,

this looks like part 2 of your poem "I want to...", and I think both poems would go well together (as "chapters" in the development of a relationship?). I think I may have detected a little flow problem here, how about adding a syllable or two to some lines? My suggestions would be: I want to connect with you(, meet) in that most sacred place fingers (reassuringly) entwined, eyes locked on your face. I want to run my hands through (the vast of) your inner space (trace) lips around your heart, (savour) the time of your embrace. I need to see the divinity (leaking from) your eyes (how) I (would like) to drown in them without fear of disguise I need to know what Love is in its essence - at its core. I (long) to understand through you (so) I’ll want for no more. Yours, ~Nina
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 10 months ago

You're right about

the poems being part of the same story - they were penned on the same night - minutes apart. THere are however a number of things I disagree with in your appraisal. Lots of times in poetry - a number of things go "unsaid". So it is here. I think putting in all your additional explanations through words alters the flow more for me and I "must needs" leave it well enough alone. THis one I'm happy with and that takes some doing! Thanks for stopping by though! Love Boni
hugo la rosa

hugo la rosa

16 years 10 months ago

Bonitaj

The poem really cuts to the core of your soul. The last verses are very dramatic. Saludos. Hugo.