A poem's birth

I really like the theme and execution. My favorite lines are: (Do you think that it is dark in the corners of our minds Where words collide like sperm and egg?) We suffer pains when they are born And labour, often hours long I felt these were the weakest lines: Some are fragile, some strong Some are pretty, some ugly Maybe something like: (some are pretty, some ugly to an extreeme?) Always, Cat

Much softer, more thoughtful, much better. Always, Cat

How interesting - and that you should make a poem of it too! Nett! Cheers Boni

work!! :) Tschuss BOni

this poem is really beautiful. Saludos. Hugo.

It's alovely poem! I really like them epecialy :Like Athena sprang from Zeus’ head Poems spring from ours those lines reminds me some Arabic poems well done mona

beautiful Nina this is poetry ... Speachless ... Love Jayne x

Nina, I love the line about us walking round with glazed eyes when 'we're pregnant with a write', perhaps we should take our notebooks to the bath and whip out the gas and air lol. You did a great job Nina of capturing the process, and the birthing analogy is perfect :) much love Beks xx ps I think there are dark AND light corners hon where these poems hide ;) x

I enjoyed the comparison of writing a poem to the creation/carrying/birth of a child. Making edits along the way = feeding child?? ~Jess K. ----------------------- "If the shoe fits, buy another one like it!" - George Carlin "If you default on payment to an exorcist, do you get repossessed?"

Hi Nina, I love how you are so open to critique and yet still hold strong to your own unique voice. I also loved the mythic allusion which makes for a strong start to your poem, and the sperm and egg simile and also pregnant with a poem, I agree with those mentioned being the weaker lines, perhaps you could follow your birth theme through into those lines extending and strengthening your poem? One more suggestion, perhaps instead of generalising try the poem in first person, your own birth process, how you personally tick as a poet and own it, for me I believe it would make the poem feel more authentic, not every poet works the same. I found the capitals on every line interrupted the flow a bit, with modern poetry it is more usual to capitalise as in normal writing, unless you were aiming for an olde world style, with the mythic connections, in which case it might work if you took it more in that direction. I hope something I have written is helpful to you. love from Zephyr

I love your simple and neat way of putting your beautiful thoughts on paper. Loved this sweet piece as well. You made me feel the excitement and joy associated with writting a poem, which I always enjoy a lot when I write one. These words were awesome, "(Do you think it’s dark in the corners of our minds Where words collide like sperm and egg?)" A lovey creation! Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

Bravo, the juxtaposition of the process of 'birthing' a poem (our conceptual offspring) and the various emotional states of actual birth was an excellent frame from which to construct this piece. The analogy, when thinking about it is quite apropos. My favorite lines: "We go around with glazed eyes When we are pregnant with a write"