Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

B

Cigarettes

I smoke cigarettes
to quell my nerves,
with the true
two handed death grip.
If I did
sixty years of judo,
Sure I'd castrate my joints,
but I'd still be able to breathe.
  
— bloke, Jul 12, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: AUS

More from this author

Critiques

Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

16 years 11 months ago

Bloke,

I am also a smoker, but it's my deeds that have made me worth the value of my weight, and not the cigarettes that I smoke. I have many friends that don't smoke, and I'll tell you because of the person I am, they don't look at me as worthless because I smoke. So, I feel that if we smoke or not we must look into ourselves and see what is truly our worth, and realize how we interact with our world. If you get a chance read my poem: "Just another Cigarette". Thanks, Eddie "I control what I know and what I don't know, I wait on advantage to come"
B

bloke

16 years 11 months ago

absolutely

I agree with you absolutely, i was just trying to portray a particular mindstate, maybe a thought that occurs for less than one second, that may go through a smokers mind at one point or another. Also, i wanted to create an analogy between smoking, and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

nope

not worthless. I quit smoking about seven years ago, and I'm not prejudiced against smokers. I have many friends who smoke. Most of them have children still at home, so the law requires them to smoke outside their house. Please don't think of yourself as worthless just because you are a smoker. I'm sure that you have many other fine qualities... you're a poet, for one thing! I think the title is good and the subject matter is ok and the execution is ok. Always, Cat
B

bloke

16 years 10 months ago

cat

thanks for the comment
B

bloke

16 years 10 months ago

updated

changed the poem completely.