I cry too

This is a nicely twisting poem of lament. Lots of thoughtful and unique imagery. "The corroded body of your souls vehicle struggling uphill in first gear,..." Might want to make souls possessive rather than plural: soul's instead of souls. But I don't really think you have to spell out all the detail. I would drop "vehicle" altogether and make soul singular. You don't really lose anything and the metaphor is less tortured. This following stanza is very nicely done: I wander in your wilderness Clutching the red thread Hoping you will follow the neatly stacked shelves of my mind You have the knack for the phrase. Brian

This is what the stanza looks like with "vehicle" removed and "souls" made singular: The corroded body of your soul struggling uphill in first gear, I still want to ride in it ,filler at hand Prepared to push if I must I didn't read "filler" as body filler the first time. I thought it was a reference to carrying an extra three or four liters, to add to the tank, if necessary. And I think other readers, whether they understand the "filler" to be automotive body filler or a bit of spare gasoline, while not be the wiser with the word vehicle included. And I don't think you want to nail down every possible ambiguity for the reader. Give the reader some task, as they will inevitably take it upon themselves anyway. Brian