faerybeki

Jul 10, 2009 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Falling Into Black

Darkness threatens
preparing to consume
Melancholy envelops
I slip into blue

Weight on my shoulders
pain in every pore
achingly unready
at Initiation's door

As I fall into black
I pass my other self
waking up
she whispers,

'The heart's hurt will pass
but the tenderness will last
sorrow's grasp is transient
there can be agony in Enlightenment''

Soreness
gnawing
anguish
mourning
Mountains of doubt
even tears seem broken
I retreat into the ache
I surrender
again

'Bless this time too
it's only growing pains'

— faerybeki, Jul 10, 2009

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Critiques

infinite_dwarf

17 years ago

Beki

"pain in every pore", "Mountains of doubt even tears seem broken I retreat into the ache I surrender again" - I feel that these are excellent lines. I couldn't help but notice how well the italicized stanzas helped to solidify and add to the poem... Well done. Good, catching title too, I feel. I have no suggestions for improvement at the moment, because in all honesty, I've not found anything that needs it. Nicely done. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Why worry? There should be laughter after pain. There should be sunshine after rain. These things have always been the same. So why worry now?" - Dire Straits

faerybeki

17 years ago

Thank you Jess, I haven’t

Thank you Jess, I haven't used italics in my poetry before, I guess because it's all written on paper, an extra tool now I'm posting onto computer, I'm happy you felt they were useful to the poem, and appreciate your stopping to comment, much love Beki x

barbsdad2003

17 years ago

Depression's ...

such a terrible hurt. You express it here well. I know of the sinking. The despair. The sense that it's never going to end. Too often the "other self's" out of commission at such a time. Or her voice can't be heard. Whichever. Sorry for my indulgence in what seems to be mere philosophizing---a witnessing/spectating from outside---than simply being. Hugs, Chuck

faerybeki

17 years ago

Chuck, please don’t

Chuck, please don't apologise for your indulgent philosophising, you're so right, I've had bouts since I was a teen really but they are less often now, this one took me quite by suprise, writing helps lots and fortunatley my 'other self' is pretty loud these days, the last 2 lines in this poem are the key for me, and echo (I think) what you hint at about simply being. Thanks for stopping here Chuck and hugs right now are greatly appreciated, much love and hugs back Beki xx

Ink Dragon

17 years ago

Beki,

I think this is the first time I have read such a "dark" write by you, and I must say you do it extremely well. As I fall into black I pass my other self were the lines that really gave me the shivers here. Much love to you, sweet fairy, I hope that you will walk in the light again soon. Yours, ~Nina

faerybeki

17 years ago

Nina, I don’t write

Nina, I don't write 'dark' very often, it's somewhere I'd rather not stay, but I'm honoured you think I did it well, and happy it had impact as a poem (I still think of my 'work' as therapy lol) Nina, I too hope I'm not here long (infact I think it's ebbing) now, go get warm and I'll see you in the light soon dear poetess ;) much love Beki xx

themoonman

17 years ago

Beki...

I was surprised by this write, I tend to think of you as having a bubbly persona, but isn't it sad and wonderful how very human each of us are... there are no strangers to depressions grasp. I pass my other self... so descriptive an image, so felt! Richard

faerybeki

17 years ago

Richard, I’m happy I can

Richard, I'm happy I can surprise you ;) but I'm also happy to be leaving this dark place behind :) During this down time I bewailed to my dear friend, 'but what do I bring to the party?' she laughed at me and said, 'but you ARE the party!' I am generally a bubbly kinda girl but I have lived with depression since my late teens, I'm slightly more accepting when it visits (although it still scares the shit out of me, just less frequently!) I think perhaps it is more prevalent in thinking, creative types? Our humanity is indeed wonderful Moonman, as is your presence here. I'm happy you 'felt' something here Richard and do hope you're well. Much love Beki xx

Bert Lamrick

17 years ago

You've done an excellent

write here, Beki. You're getting better all the time. You've effectively captured the frailties that all of us grapple with from time to time. After all, poets are tortured souls aren't they? Well done. Love, ~Rick

faerybeki

17 years ago

Thank you Rick, can’t tell

Thank you Rick, can't tell you how much I appreciate your stopping here. It means a lot that you find it well written and believe I am improving :) Perhaps poets allow themselves to really FEEL the torture? they dive in and explore it, looking for a way to express the inexpressible? Writing certainly helps me to 'be' during the dark times. And I am getting better ;) regaining balance, bit more grounded :) Thank You Rick, much love Beki xx

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