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Jetstream

I like a smooth
writing pen
a fine tip
one called Jetstream
has taken 
my fancy 
of late
made by that
japanese mob
mitsubishi
it can fly across 
the page
without a glitch
smooth and
effortless
no little dribbles
which you have
to wipe off
especially love
the retractable
Jetstream
they come in
blue
black and red
not to heavy
and 
not to light

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Country/Region: AUS

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I

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Fleur,

you have a unique take on everyday things and our modern world, very enjoyable and fresh to read. I have a couple of suggestions on the arrangement here and there was a typo in your last lines (to->too): I like a smooth writing pen a fine tip one called Jetstream has taken my fancy of late made by that japanese mob mitsubishi it can fly across the page without a glitch smooth and effortless no little dribbles which you have to wipe off (i) especially love the retractable Jetstream they come in blue black and red not too heavy and not too light What do you think? Yours, ~Nina
kaligantsaros

kaligantsaros

16 years 10 months ago

Touching in its retro feel.

Real hand , real ink..real spelling mistakes ..real initial contact..now the poetry. Every writers nightmare a blank page. Real blank page. Perhaps a few dots to indicate a hiatus at the end of the piece . Hi I am new here too and Ink Dragon has already been of great encouragement and help. Enjoy yourself..K