Land Of Lemmings

it seems that you were angry while jotting this one down, or at least to me anyway... titles... the first thing that jumped out to me was keeping up with the Jones's... but it is an entirely played out line... runway battles, cattle dancing, mass appeal just a few... great write!!! Richard

something like "Get Real" or "So Get Real." Before reading your comment, I had thought of the many times I want news from my TV but get instead the current pabulum. You know, whatever the media crocodiles're circling at the moment. Which of course leaves little to no time for news of significance that then goes/passes by unreported (or is given short shrift). That is, the kind of news that really does affect/impact the world (and me and loved ones), both its present and its future. Whatever's most inauthentic (it seems to my cynical self) seems to carry the day. And I don't see signs of alleviation in that regard. Back to individuals (and relationships), it's a tough, confusing world that seeks to bypass relevance and run (always running) straight to whatever's garnering most of today's all too transitory attention. As a sort of escape, I suppose, from what really matters. My point, I guess, I should make here is that this piece got me thinking. Which's---usually, anyway---a good thing. At least I hope so. And whether you wrote from anger or from anything else is not so relevant as the truth that this is a darned good write. No surprise, that. Thanx again, Chuck

let me think on the title when I go to bed , I like angry , it helps you shake everything else off (hugz) big love Jayne x x

love the write. Have nothing to add but to throw in my title suggestion. "Imitations" or "Ersatz" might be possibilities. Yours, ~Nina

I'd like to see something that ties in the lines from enema tube in ear canals, to the finish - because those were just totally awesome images. If you like, you can borrow my title from a poem of mine called Human Prosthetic. Seems somewhat fitting! LOL! Will have to give it more thought. Definitely heard the cat hiss in this one. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Why worry? There should be laughter after pain. There should be sunshine after rain. These things have always been the same. So why worry now?" - Dire Straits

who ever this is they are definitely a gluten for punishment. I don't want to experience any of those ills. Here's a title: "Threaten me with a Good Time" it made me sick, to many bodily discharges. I felt the pain of the brain washing via the ear!!! Great work!!! thanks, Eddie

Purging with a Hiss ... Love Jayne ... Jess inspired that suggestion lol

I love and enjoyed this write Cat. Leonard

I would review this piece and insert punctuation to aid in flow and pacing. Right now it just ends with an exclamation point and that loses its emphasis through the length of the sentence. Imagine someone shouting for 3 minutes verses talking normally for 2.75 and ending in a shout. As for a title, I'm drawn toward the following: "You Fought the Hype, and the Hype Won" To support the general feeling of inevitability of the piece and to bring a familiar note that will draw the reader in. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)

I like the title. To me, it suggests that these people live in their separate world, where "following the crowd" is the name of the game. Yours, ~Nina

I loved the name I thought it suited it beautifully lol I am glad you ignored my suggestion it was silly as most of my titles are I can rarely think them up without doing my head in lol (hug) loved it the first time and I enjoyed it even more this time ... Love Jayne x x

Ahh.... those depressed little rodents! Love what you've come up with for the title! ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Sundown you better take care if I find you've been creepin' 'round my back stairs. Sometimes I think it's a sin when I feel like I'm winnin' when I'm losing again" - Gordon Lightfoot

Lamentations for a Lemming... And we're all going over the edge... in a manner of speaking, makes me want to wash out my mind with soap. ;-) ~A "Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood." T. S. Eliot

I absolutely loved the title and theme. The pacing seemed to be almost tactile with the words you chose. It oozed a sort of dejected contempt for us as 'the masses'. Can't say that I've never felt that disdain either.