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The Greedy Giant

                 THE  GREEDY  GIANT
A long time ago, in the northlands of snow

Lived a king in an ivory castle

But his people were angry, no food, very hungry

A greedy giant ate every morsel


The Queen said to the King,"Remember,one Spring

When those young girls defeated that dragon?

I'm quite sure that they might have another tough fight

And get him to pack up his wagon


With his wizard, the king would have done anything

That would help them get rid of this creature

Made a hot air balloon, not a moment too soon

Sent it south, hoping that it would reach them.


It was on the back green, on the big trampoline

Both girls were bouncing and diving

When there was a bright flash and the sound of a crash

The magic balloon was arriving!
 

 They both climbed aboard, and northwards they soared

And soon arrived at the white castle

The king came to meet them and said “You must beat him

This giant has caused nothing but hassle“.
 

“His name is Goliath, he came from Rosyth

Where I hear giants are really quite rare

If he sees food, he’ll eat it, so please make him beat it

Or soon we’ll have no food to share.

 

So Morgan and Tiegan were given a wee van

To take them to find the big pest

Morgan told the van driver to park by the river

From there they would walk to the west.
 

Morgan thought for a while, as they walked half-a-mile

About how the giant wasn’t so brave

For if he was a winner and stole people’s dinner

Then why did he hide in a cave?
 

All at once was a shout, and the giant rushed out

Waving his club at the sky

Tiegan picked up a stone and it was well thrown

For it hit the giant right in the eye.
 

The ogre cried “Ouch!” and bent down in a crouch

Rubbing his eye with a hanky

But the hanky was snotty and slimey and grotty

Like the rest of his clothes, it was manky!
 

“Are you laughing at me?”, said the giant on one knee

“You’d better not or you’re in trouble

I’m bigger than you, I’ll turn you into stew.”

The girls laughed, the giant started to bubble.
 

Morgan said “You’re not tough - just a big powder-puff

So you’d better run off - go on - beat it!”

The giant cried “Boo-hoo, it’s all ‘cos of you

That I have, for once, been defeated.”
 

The giant trudged away - he’d had such a bad day

All because of two girls from Park Road

And to make matters worse, by the wizard’s worst curse

He was magicked into a fat toad!
 

So the girls left at noon in the wizard's balloon

The king said ”You’re now our friends for ever”

They landed at four, ran in the back door

They’d had such an adventure together.

 

— Tam the Chanter, Jul 08, 2009

About This Poem

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Country/Region: GBR

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Critiques

Jonathan Moore

Jonathan Moore

16 years 11 months ago

Ambitious piece

With the story choice, intersecting reality and fantasy and the choice of a more complex than usual rhyme scheme that generally runs: 6a6a 10b 6c6c 10b Which does establish a good flow and most likely enhances the vocal presentation, giving it a song like but not sing-song quality. On a piece like this you may want to review the rhyme choices, just to make certain what you have is exactly what you want. If it is not, don't change it right away, just make a note and as you review the work try different word choices and see how they affect flow and meaning. I have a major stumble on stanza 2 as you reference people critical to the story without introducing them or indicating the King's inducement for seeking their involvement. I would look at inserting a stanza that wold both play to the King's former dealings with the girls and perhaps hint at a conveyance so that the mention of the balloon does not seem so contrived. Right now you've got the making of a solid narrative poem, and December contest entry I might add. Looking forward to updates. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)
Tam the Chanter

Tam the Chanter

16 years 10 months ago

the kingdom

Jonathan I tried to comply with your most welcome suggestions, especially the extra, explanatory stanza. Some improvement! thanks again Gandalf ! Kindesr Regards Ian T
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

16 years 10 months ago

Ian

Magic balloons? Crying giants? Wee buses? Of course I needed to read further after that! Quite an enchanting write, and I read with a smile on my face. Off to go find more of your works now - I think I'm hooked. =) ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Sundown you better take care if I find you've been creepin' 'round my back stairs. Sometimes I think it's a sin when I feel like I'm winnin' when I'm losing again" - Gordon Lightfoot
Tam the Chanter

Tam the Chanter

16 years 10 months ago

the kingdom

Jess Thanks for the kind words. Troon is a lovely wee town with a large yacht marina. I go there often, only about 6 miles from me. Kindest Regards, glad you like my stuff Ian T