theladyblue

Jul 08, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

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my heart burst today.
i watched it in slow motion,
like a glass slipped from the hand
watered full and beautiful in its destruction.

words spilled forth
into this most public place
where you can watch, for a penny or two.
step up and see this girl turn inside out.

i will do it for free,
but only on tuesday mornings;
enter the crowd and they all say,
'what the hell is she on about now?'

— theladyblue, Jul 08, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

orgami

16 years 11 months ago

carved with a smooth plane

and curls of pain sliver up from the mouth of wonder fresh as a slap delectable tremulous in minds pitch rolling darkened words like dampness like violent tears cast I cup my votive thoughts but want to lean back and howl with this never knowing all that and the polite "only on Tuesday mornings" I shall sleep see what dreams drift

ziggy

16 years 11 months ago

carved with a smooth plane

hi , wow i really like the key words you used like fresh as a slap well done this is very good

Bonitaj

16 years 11 months ago

absolutely love this!

albeit for one change as I see it.... "what's she on about" (period!) Your call and I'm sure you're happy with it! Excellent piece Bonita j

Ink Dragon

16 years 11 months ago

Emarie,

love this! All of it, the bursting heart, the way you laid it out, the new last line... And "only on Tuesdays" makes me snort with laughter! Yours, ~Nina

Eduardo Cruz

16 years 11 months ago

Emarie

I love the words in the bold type " Destruction watched for free" I guess it was Tuesday. It's no fun watching self destruction, you only wish you can help. Wonderful write, like watching a death defying Trick. thanks Eddie

theladyblue

16 years 11 months ago

Thank you to all

it seems that everyone has taken a little of what i meant to convey. i love when that happens...lol 'only on tuesday mornings' is something i say quite often i.e. 'well of course i love you...but only on tuesday mornings' and the bold and italic words are strategically placed...nice catch eddie... i meant this piece to be a lot like me...odd, sad, and well kinda fun...even if i have nothing worth saying lol... ____________________________________________________________________________________ "i read you and see…that between the pen, paper and you…there is little room for me…" ~ heart breaker~ Go Live & Get Rewarded!!! Check us out at http://www.neopoet.com/forum/20761 & the Community Calender!!!

Morgana Tragic…

16 years 11 months ago

EMARIE!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Em, I really really love this. We all have those awful dreadful days when we just wanna turn inside out and flip out...."but only on Tuesday mornings..." LOL I love that line. Great write, love how you italicized certain lines or words "slipped", "spilled" added real drama and flow to this. All around a great write. Far out, Em, far out. Peace n Love Katie

Ashes4now

16 years 11 months ago

title

"Where the hell is she?", that would be a better title, but that is just my opinion. Very nice and exotic. Ash D.M.

Morgana Tragic…

16 years 11 months ago

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY Emarie!!!!

Just had to come back and say CONGRATS on spotlight, Em!!!!!! So deserving this is one of the best I've read in a long time. Cheers sister! Peace and Love Your crazy hippie Canadian Katie

orgami

16 years 11 months ago

Happy Spotlight

I want to say I like the usage of the two fonts or three I guess regular tilted and bold made me say "what the ? is she writing now! always amazing poems and of course your spoken word poems also I know many artistic people whom I write too or keep in touch SERENA RYDER song "Weak in the Knees" Canadian Grammy winner PETER CAMANI sculpure Screaming Heads Midlothian Ontario (cool cool stuff) MARSHA FROST artist textile sculptress Toronto Ontario (just getting going) KATHLEEN BRINDSLEY poet from the states HAWKSLEY WORKMAN "Jealous of your cigarette (young Canadian singer) bold people like you creating and of course you other poets here too whom I read and share writings and feelings with Yah Neopoet!

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Emarie I had read this

Emarie I had read this yesterday when I was very tired had meant to get back and leave a comment ... I loved it ... and the three fonts ? make layers of poetry in poetry I liked it alot, nothing is discovered without imagination ... what a beautifully sad poem ... but I didn't 'what the hell is she on about?' lol I knew exactly where you were coming from lovely work ... congratulations on spotlight we have seen a wide variety of poems lately , here in this light,it only enriches us all....Love Jayne

theladyblue

16 years 11 months ago

self deprecating....why yes i am

i welcome criticism...even if it is from myself...some people criticize me for my lower case 'i' but i assure you it is intentional...you see i am both insignificant and vital...it is a statement, as pointless or as needless as it may be...your call... i do wish to improve and this is why i ask for feedback...so if you do see something, as minor as it maybe...please tell me... i will be your diary you blank canvas your any and every take of me what you will just leave a little for the next taker <3 Emarie p.s. my punctuation is horrid...anyone with advice as to how to improve in this area...im listening _________________________________________________________________________________ "i read you and see…that between the pen, paper and you…there is little room for me…" ~ heart breaker~ Go Live & Get Rewarded!!! Check us out at http://www.neopoet.com/forum/20761 & the Community Calendar!!!

professor

16 years 11 months ago

Since you asked for punctuation advice

Emarie, here it is for you. K My heart burst today. I watched it in slow motion, like a glass slipped from the hand watered, full and beautiful in its destruction. Words spilled forth into this most public place where you can watch, for a penny or two, step up and see this girl turn inside out. I will do it for free, but only on tuesday mornings; enter the crowd and they all say, ‘what the hell is she on about now?’

theladyblue

16 years 11 months ago

Thanks

i used all but one...the comma between watered and full does not work since watered is (in my mind) the verb here...strange i know but it my poetic voice and i will take license here...thank you again for the advice! <3 Emaire ___________________________________________________________________________________ "i read you and see…that between the pen, paper and you…there is little room for me…" ~ heart breaker~ Go Live & Get Rewarded!!! Check us out at http://www.neopoet.com/forum/20761 & the Community Calendar!!!

W.C.Wampler

16 years 11 months ago

soapbox poem

T.L.B., Nicely done poem. Abstract, yet personal. wcw

Kailashana

16 years 11 months ago

See, why we need spotlight,

See, why we need spotlight, I would have missed this... you're my kind of woman...! (But only on Tuesdays, lol.) Seriously, "What the hell is she on about now?" ....keep 'em guessing dear girl... miles of smiles, Anna "It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err." Mahatma Gandhi

theladyblue

16 years 11 months ago

well you know...

i try Anna! LOL not always successful but always shocked when it happens lol thanks so much to everyone for the comments! <3 Emarie ___________________________________________________________________________________ "i read you and see…that between the pen, paper and you…there is little room for me…" ~ heart breaker~ Go Live & Get Rewarded!!! Check us out at http://www.neopoet.com/forum/20761 & the Community Calender!!!

onemorning85

16 years 11 months ago

The three stanzas don’t

The three stanzas don't fully flow for me. They seem to stand alone on their own. However, I enjoyed the poem, especially the ending. Perhaps you could expand the poem? Transition the glass with the public place. etc. <3 Lauren