Deacon

He who haunts the night
Ravishes the darkness
Alive; he rises to greet Mother Moon

Broad shoulders
Barrel chest
Midnight’s only son
Takes to the street again

Charming prince
Toxic dreamer
Blood stained fangs
Beneath a crooked smile

From afar; alone on a corner
He spies another
A potential lover
Whirling, twirling
He sweeps her off her feet
As her bloody smile
Beckons him

— hardcorechick28, Jul 07, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Critiques

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

Deacon

He is quite formidable and grand, someone I would like to get to know from the bottom of my black little heart, LOL! I love these lines: He who haunts the night Ravishes the darkness Midnight’s only son Charming prince Toxic dreamer I felt the finish wasn't quite as strong as the beginning. Just a little bit of work on this and it will be a masterpiece! Always, Cat

hardcorechick28

16 years 11 months ago

thank you

thank you for the suggestion...i will definitely work on the ending a little more. Glad you enjoyed it though. He is definitely someone I would get to know....LOL.

Geezer

16 years 11 months ago

Right about the finish....

Cat is right about the finish, I was expecting a little more, maybe if he drooled a little or something! LOL. Try: Shrouded in mist slender inticing form recognised by instict she silently calls to him Love that name; Deacon! Sounds like a relationship made in Hell! I look forward to hearing more of these two! ~Gee.

hardcorechick28

16 years 11 months ago

thank u

I will definitely work on the ending when I get a free second to put it together!! Glad you enjoyed it though...they are indeed the perfect couple from Hell. I plan on taking everyone through the journey of their life together.

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

I couldn't edit

for some strange reason, the system wouldn't give me the option to edit my first response to change the four stars to a five. So here they are in a separate post. Much better ending! Always, Cat

hardcorechick28

16 years 11 months ago

thank you so much

Cat Thank you so much....glad that you liked the new ending. I always appreciate your constructive criticism. My goal is to put enough poems on here and make them perfect so i can put them in a book. I am thinking of going with Vampire Chronicles or something along those lines :)

hugo la rosa

16 years 10 months ago

My comment

The poem is strong as the night, and the words exceptional.

Kailashana

16 years 10 months ago

Came upon your poem when I

Came upon your poem when I was thirsty...(or was I hungry?) Nicely done, I'd buy your Chronicles...always wanted a Dracula of my own.. ~A "Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood." T. S. Eliot