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i hate her

i stared at her
so ugly i thought to myself
how could anyone love a girl like that
so plain and ordinary
she has nothing to offer the world
she's just there
i stare harder trying to figure out who she is
what is her purpose
i punch the girl
the mirror shatters
and i hate that girl
— prettyprincess, Jul 07, 2009

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Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 11 months ago

I really like this poem, one

I really like this poem, one everyone can i-dentify with. Perhaps, the last two lines could do well without "the girl is me" (we already know it because you're the image in the mirror). The last line would read: the mirror shatters how I hate her blood. or if that's too much... just oh, how I hate her. Just thoughts. ~A "It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err." Mahatma Gandhi
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

Hello

The title fits the piece. I agree with Kailashana's comments. I hope to see more of your work in the future. Good job. Always, Cat
B

blistered-pen

16 years 11 months ago

..

oh yeah, definitely take out "the girl is me" but other than that, it's great. I don't think you need to change anything else. oh, the title fits well. kudos.
B

bloke

16 years 10 months ago

conjures images

I really enjoyed this poem, it created a powerful 30 second movie in my mind as i read it. It also made me think deeply about the emotions, and daily thoughts of the person behind it. Really enjoyed this poem. The title drew me in.